10 ways to win over an IT person
Not copy-paste or transfer. Additions and clarifications are accepted;)
1. Regularly consult with your IT specialist about everything related to systems that are harder to broom
Whether it is water heater or alarm - it does not matter. IT person must understand everything that is present in the modern world and is not available to you. Just because it seems to you that he is notorious. For some reason, a nuclear physicist, for some reason, remains aloof, although he has exactly the same attitude to air conditioners and drills.
2. Punch IT with the word "computer geek"
After all, it doesn’t matter that every IT specialist has his own narrow specialization, at least at the top level, of hardware and software, and he respects his specialty. Do not even bother with your thoughts about how you, the head of sales in the B2B sector, feel that someone calls you a "trafficker."
3. Try to describe your difficulties to a minimum.
When you come to find out if your choice of a new phone is correct, with a similar question, contact, for example, an interface programmer (and it doesn’t matter that he knows next to nothing his specialty). Start like this: "I want to buy such a well." On a silent and full of bewilderment look, add a description: "White". So that these idiots will finally understand what you are, finish it off: “Well, he's so small! What else is not clear to you? ”
4. For any question related to computers, immediately run to the IT specialist
Believe me, you’ll have Opera Mini installed on your phone for you, especially if you bring a dozen more phone numbers of your friends (with crooked Java machines) from work. As a bonus, hand over three more laptops with a request to rearrange the system there and install all the programs, because for an IT person it will take a couple of minutes, and not at all for three days.
In response to the request to complete the reduction of the company's quarterly balance sheet or at least give something to chew, you will be terribly indignant and refer to employment, you are not obliged to do anything.
')
5. If you see a person immersed in a laptop in a public place, talk to him
Be sure to ask what he is busy - this is undoubtedly your business. Then tell me how the grand-nephew picked up a couple of viruses and now stares at the porn banners in the half-screen. Ask where and in what configuration you better buy a computer. Do not forget to find out which copier you should buy. Final chord, take the phone number or ask right now to go to you and look at your car.
6. In any situation - call
If you are drunk - it's time to "dial" one of the familiar IT people and say that you have problems with the Internet. Do not pay attention to answers like “there may be a thousand reasons”, just shout out “I have internet from% ISP name%!”. Especially effective if you live in another region, and about your ISP heard three and a half people, two of them - its owners.
For any clarification like "what model of modem?" Say "Yandex", in extreme cases, squeeze out the color of that box with light bulbs.
7. If an IT person does not understand you - shout
Especially if you carry a complete nonsense and you yourself suspect it, swearing will confirm the seriousness of your situation, facilitate and speed up the process of getting an answer. Do not forget for a minute: in front of you is a certified doctor of telepathic sciences, he simply does not want to read your thoughts, and asks clarifying questions just to annoy you.
8. If an IT person is already avoiding you - curse
No, you are not at all zadolbali person stupid questions and hysterical reaction to everything. Moreover, this person only lives to help you personally. Therefore, if he nevertheless begins to hide from you in every possible way, this is an excellent reason to shout at him, and also to wish a painful death to him and his whole family. In fact, how did this freak dare?
9. Ask IT pros to hack something for you.
It's not a secret that even ordinary support service workers will easily give you a thousand votes on VKontakte, read someone else's mail on mail.ru and select a login and password for Odnoklassniki according to a word portrait.
Moreover, IT specialists can and should do such things simply because they have the honor to communicate with you. For criminal offenses such things as hacking have no relationship, freely ask to open you an offshore account and transfer there at least a million dollars.
10. Remember, IT people are not people
Because they do not have a personal life, they should be treated solely as a tool to solve your technical problems, their patience is endless, and they should be just happy doing the heavy routine technical work for you.
Without a doubt, any IT person is a nerd and zadrot, so do not hesitate to say it in his face and giggle behind his back, this is not a shame. If you find out that your friend IT specialist has a girlfriend and, in general, personal life as such, defiantly goggle your eyes and use your horse, not forgetting to vomit after, presenting him in bed. Remember - Zadrots cannot even have dreams, and such things as the Internet, your mobile phone, player, car and TV were invented by glamorous guys from yesterday's club.
1. Regularly consult with your IT specialist about everything related to systems that are harder to broom
Whether it is water heater or alarm - it does not matter. IT person must understand everything that is present in the modern world and is not available to you. Just because it seems to you that he is notorious. For some reason, a nuclear physicist, for some reason, remains aloof, although he has exactly the same attitude to air conditioners and drills.
2. Punch IT with the word "computer geek"
After all, it doesn’t matter that every IT specialist has his own narrow specialization, at least at the top level, of hardware and software, and he respects his specialty. Do not even bother with your thoughts about how you, the head of sales in the B2B sector, feel that someone calls you a "trafficker."
3. Try to describe your difficulties to a minimum.
When you come to find out if your choice of a new phone is correct, with a similar question, contact, for example, an interface programmer (and it doesn’t matter that he knows next to nothing his specialty). Start like this: "I want to buy such a well." On a silent and full of bewilderment look, add a description: "White". So that these idiots will finally understand what you are, finish it off: “Well, he's so small! What else is not clear to you? ”
4. For any question related to computers, immediately run to the IT specialist
Believe me, you’ll have Opera Mini installed on your phone for you, especially if you bring a dozen more phone numbers of your friends (with crooked Java machines) from work. As a bonus, hand over three more laptops with a request to rearrange the system there and install all the programs, because for an IT person it will take a couple of minutes, and not at all for three days.
In response to the request to complete the reduction of the company's quarterly balance sheet or at least give something to chew, you will be terribly indignant and refer to employment, you are not obliged to do anything.
')
5. If you see a person immersed in a laptop in a public place, talk to him
Be sure to ask what he is busy - this is undoubtedly your business. Then tell me how the grand-nephew picked up a couple of viruses and now stares at the porn banners in the half-screen. Ask where and in what configuration you better buy a computer. Do not forget to find out which copier you should buy. Final chord, take the phone number or ask right now to go to you and look at your car.
6. In any situation - call
If you are drunk - it's time to "dial" one of the familiar IT people and say that you have problems with the Internet. Do not pay attention to answers like “there may be a thousand reasons”, just shout out “I have internet from% ISP name%!”. Especially effective if you live in another region, and about your ISP heard three and a half people, two of them - its owners.
For any clarification like "what model of modem?" Say "Yandex", in extreme cases, squeeze out the color of that box with light bulbs.
7. If an IT person does not understand you - shout
Especially if you carry a complete nonsense and you yourself suspect it, swearing will confirm the seriousness of your situation, facilitate and speed up the process of getting an answer. Do not forget for a minute: in front of you is a certified doctor of telepathic sciences, he simply does not want to read your thoughts, and asks clarifying questions just to annoy you.
8. If an IT person is already avoiding you - curse
No, you are not at all zadolbali person stupid questions and hysterical reaction to everything. Moreover, this person only lives to help you personally. Therefore, if he nevertheless begins to hide from you in every possible way, this is an excellent reason to shout at him, and also to wish a painful death to him and his whole family. In fact, how did this freak dare?
9. Ask IT pros to hack something for you.
It's not a secret that even ordinary support service workers will easily give you a thousand votes on VKontakte, read someone else's mail on mail.ru and select a login and password for Odnoklassniki according to a word portrait.
Moreover, IT specialists can and should do such things simply because they have the honor to communicate with you. For criminal offenses such things as hacking have no relationship, freely ask to open you an offshore account and transfer there at least a million dollars.
10. Remember, IT people are not people
Because they do not have a personal life, they should be treated solely as a tool to solve your technical problems, their patience is endless, and they should be just happy doing the heavy routine technical work for you.
Without a doubt, any IT person is a nerd and zadrot, so do not hesitate to say it in his face and giggle behind his back, this is not a shame. If you find out that your friend IT specialist has a girlfriend and, in general, personal life as such, defiantly goggle your eyes and use your horse, not forgetting to vomit after, presenting him in bed. Remember - Zadrots cannot even have dreams, and such things as the Internet, your mobile phone, player, car and TV were invented by glamorous guys from yesterday's club.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/97712/
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