Open Source Humor, Part 2: Matt Asay

Perhaps some people remember our joke , organized with the participation of the GNU maintainer, Micah Cowon. I did not dwell on this.

I decided to contact Matt Asay (the author of The Open Road blog on CNET, a new COO at Canonical, and earlier, for example, one of the co-founders of Alfresco) in order to ask him to write a column of the editor-in-chief to this number.

Finding his account on linkedin, sent a personal message as follows:
')

 Hello Matt!

 I've been reading your Open Road blog at CNET for years.  Also, you can remember your presentation at Interop 2008 Open Source Forum Russia, here in Moscow.  At last, I was excited that you got the COO position at Canonical.

 I am a dedicated to open source software.  It is simply “open source”.  It is issued as an electronic application to Russian printing magazine "System Administrator".

 April 26th, 2010, Fool Day  Every "Open Source" issue starts from my (editor-in-chief's) column.  I want to put _your_ text in this 58th column.  It will be signed as "Matt Asay, Canonical's COO" instead of our traditional "Dmitry Shurupov, editor-in-chief".  So, I’m about 900-1000 characters from the column "for" Open Source "# 058.

 Up to you.  You can tell.  Of course, you’ll be a little bit different :-)

 Thanks in advance!

He answered and after solving some technical questions he sent me the following creative:

 Canonical Launches an Ubuntu Revolution in Russia

 For years, Microsoft claimed that Linux and open source were "anti-American" and communist.  Who knew what Linus Torvalds was about?

 If you’re taking it over, you’re taking it over.  Since 2007 it has been reported that it has been trained for the open-source operating system.

 Is the the "glasnost" that Mikhail Gorbachev envisioned?

 It is or not, it's happening.  It is a process that leads to the development of a global environment.  As a result, it can use it but it doesn’t actively develop it.

 Russia Microsoft now has a Linux operating system.

 It is a cannabis operating system.  It’s a counterstrike and it’s "Mamulya" or "Father."

 "Ubuntu user forever," it’s a new Ubuntu user forever,

 Our first shipment of Ubuntu CDs has already left our military center in the United Kingdom.  Reinforcements are on their way.  Ubuntu 10.04 LTS ("Lucid Lynx") release: aubergine.

 "Abramovich," was supported by the insurers, declaring, "I’ve grown bored with Chelsea. I’m buying $ 10 billion worth of it." This is a deal you can't refuse. "

 Resistance is futile.  The Ubuntu revolution is already underway.

My free translation, published on the first page of the latest Open Source release (download the archive from PDF here ):

 Canonical announces Ubuntu Revolution in Russia

 For many years, Microsoft has argued that Linux and Open Source are anti-American and communist in nature.  Who would have thought that Linus Torvalds was a Kremlin minion?

 Microsoft will be glad to know that in fact this is not Russia taking over the world with the help of sinister Linux systems, and Linux is taking over Russia.  Since 2007, there have been reports that Russian schools are switching to Linux, and 60,000 teachers are preparing to work with an open operating system.

 Is this the publicity that Mikhail Gorbachev imagined?

 In any case, the process has already begun.  Governments in many countries around the world are actively using Open Source and Linux, but Russia stands out against their background: the country has made a serious bet on Linux in its IT policy and uses the system as a way to reduce the illegal distribution of proprietary software (such as Microsoft Windows) and improve performance.  As a result, a country can rely on what it gets from Linux much more than other governments that simply use open source software, but not actively participating in its development.

 Whether Microsoft likes it or not, Russia now has its own Linux operating system.

 We at Canonical, behind the popular Ubuntu Linux operating system, do not intend to stand by and watch what happens.  On the contrary, we decided to break into Russia with our Linux system, and we hope that the first words of Russian children will be “Ubuntu” and “Linux for humanity”, and not “Mamula” and “Father”.

 “Give us a child for 8 years and he will become a Ubuntu user forever,” - Ubuntu’s new slogan for Russia.

 Our first batch of Ubuntu CDs has already been delivered to a military center located in the UK.  Reinforcement is on the way.  Red Square will be painted in Eggplant colors release Ubuntu 10.04 LTS ("Lucid Lynx").

 Roman Abramovich, one of the well-known oligarchs in Russia, supported the Ubuntu uprising, saying: "I am tired of Chelsea. Now I want to take over the world with free software. I will buy free Ubuntu downloads for 10 billion USD and sell them to my Russian friends for 100 billion USD. In general, I will make an offer you cannot refuse. "

 Resistance is futile.  Ubuntu revolution has already begun.