How to hire an idiot
I remember how idealistic I was, going to hire my first employee. After talking with bad bosses, I thought a lot about how I would become the class teacher. I read a bunch of books and knew for sure that:
- I will hire people who are smarter than me and aim for results
- trust them, let them do their work and provide all the necessary resources for this
- pay them a good salary and other amenities. Work from home? Why not.
- Do not brush aside resumes just because they do not have the necessary keywords. In the end, I am looking for Smart People Who Do Business, and not those who do well in the interview.
There was only one problem - at that time I was still not quite ready to afford to hire workers. Sales were quite enough to feed the business and its owner, but there was not enough stock. I would like to have at least a six-month salary in the bank, because the product sales cycle took several months.
')
Vice president
Miraculously, after some time, the former vice-president of my major competitor turned to me. He came up to me at an exhibition in which I participated with my product. The very Vice-President (VP) of the company with a turnover of 100 million dollars! True, the former, as he said himself. Anyway, I was shocked and excited.
I showed him my product, told about my company. He began to admire the product (I also thought he was great). “Damn it, why don't you sell it for 100 million a year?” He asked. I was confused and bleated something about the lack of sales experience, that I am more a programmer? than anything else and so on.
“In my mouth, my legs, I can easily sell this product for 10 million a year,” continued VP. His unceremonious manner surprised me a little, but it can and communicate at ITS level.
How realistic was what he was talking about? I knew that I myself would not be able to sell in such quantities. I am not an expert in this business and I know little else. But he knows what he is talking about. In the end, he is still vice president of business development for a 100-million-dollar company.
We talked a little more and he offered to work for me for free. Not really, of course, for free, for a percentage of sales. In the end, what am I losing? We are talking about sales, which would not exist without it. We agreed on a figure of 10%.
Just in case, I called the competitors and clarified. He really was their vice president. If he approached them, then surely it will suit me.
Alarm bells
I talked to my uncle (an experienced sales person). He advised me to be careful. “These guys,” he said, “they can go for anything to get a deal, and then you can deal with it. I have seen it hundreds of times. ”
There was nothing to worry about here. The client does not pay anything until the fully working system is implemented in his company. And up to this point, he does not receive any commission. I was protected from all sides.
I kept my promise to be a great boss. I entrusted him with the business, did not ask to send a copy of the correspondence with potential customers, printed brochures, pens with logos and other tinsel on his order. I wanted him to succeed.
One thing, however, I could not understand. I told him how much it would cost us to create a solution for one project. I said this to him so that he could calculate his commission, which was based on net profit. Then I received a copy of the letter in which he wrote to the customer, what exactly would it cost us to create this solution and “this means that we have enough resources to reduce the price”.
What salesman in his right mind calls the cost of the product? I asked him about it and he answered: “do not worry, the client knows that we earn on it”.
I did not see any logic in this, but in the end, who I was and who he was, the VP of a large company. I have the honor to learn the basics of business from him.
Then another strange thing happened. The client asked if we could demonstrate the product in their enterprise. I told him that we are not doing a demonstration, if we do not know for sure that the client has money and he is ready to buy. VP wrote to the client (and me a copy) literally the following: “Do you have money? Are you ready to buy? We do not demonstrate a product if you are not ready to buy right now. ”
How can you say such a client? But ... he was still the VP of a hundred million company. He knows this business and these buyers. Maybe they have a kind of insider joke? Maybe all high-level executives talk like that to each other. Wow. I still have so much to understand in this matter.
Then something else happened that didn't make sense to me. VP sent a sales forecast for the next three months and in the column “guaranteed to buy it for sure” there was a figure of 5 million. Wow, this is great news. But wait, here is one company from the list, I spoke with them recently. They said that now they have no funding, but maybe something will be in a couple of years. Why did they suddenly change their mind? I asked him and received an answer that yes, they have money and they are ready to buy right now.
Still, I was damn lucky. This guy is a genius! 5 million in the next three months !!!
Then he sent me a commercial offer that he had been working on for the last month. I must say that I showed him a typical offer that I sent to my clients, but he said that he would write from scratch better and more convincingly.
I started reading and my hair stood on end. It was just awful. Style student troechnika, a bunch of hackneyed stamps, tons of grammatical errors, the absence of any structure. All 15 pages in the same vein, I began to feel nauseous while I read to the end. I myself am not a writer and our clients are not English teachers, but there is a limit.
I asked him, trying not to hurt his feelings too much, whether he checked him for errors.
“Well, yes,” he replied, “I drove him through the spell checker and let his wife read it.”
“Well, hmm ... But you were writing such proposals for the previous work.”
“Not really. There were other people who wrote them, but I looked through them. But it turned out great, didn't it? ”
Here I could not resist. VP he or not, but this document is only to tear and throw away. This is my company and I cannot put my name on it. In the end, what does he think of himself? Why did he even undertake to write a commercial offer, knowing that he could not do this. He also spent a whole month on it.
He apologized. He said he wanted the best, but overestimated his strength. He thought he could write, but obviously it wasn’t, and he was fully aware of that.
————
I calmed down and pondered the situation. Okay, it happens. The guy does not know how to write. In the end, we can use my old templates and adapt them to new customers. In the end, it’s about 5 million in the next three months. Yes, for the money, I myself am ready to write sentences from morning to evening.
This is the end. I spent the night straightening the document and sent it to the client.
Three months have passed. There was no sales. That sentence that I wrote? It turned out that the client had never asked him to send and they had no money, but they thanked us for it.
The rest of the clients “suddenly lost funding” or “had to be postponed due to unforeseen circumstances, but they will definitely buy it next month.”
Six months have passed. Still no sales. It can still be understood - the sales cycle takes from several months to a year. In the end, he is VP of a hundred million company and works for me for free, and the company has enough money so that I myself can hold out for another six months.
But still something was wrong here. We decided that we would work on sales together and he began to send me a copy of each of his letters. Your mother It was just awful. His “sales technique” for the first new client was that he literally begged to buy them because “our company is about to fly into the pipe”. What idiot can write such a client? I demanded an answer.
“Well, it's true, isn't it? Believe me, I have been working in this industry for 30 years. I know that they are used to this. They are such people, ”he explained to me.
This could not continue. I felt deceived, and, which is especially unpleasant, I myself was to blame for this. I called him to the meeting and demanded answers.
Moment of truth
Here is what he said (solemn music). It turned out that he quit school. Drugs, booze, petty crimes, then he scrambled out and passed school exams as an external student. He worked as a fitter at the factory, he gradually served and grew up. He had excellent manners, was pleasant in communication, he remembered all the names. Turned the connection and moved up the stairs. All work shifted to subordinates. He worked in the same industry, he knew everyone in it. He worked as a consultant, did some work for a competitor. They liked him because they knew all the key figures in the industry. They offered him a job. He really wanted to be a VP and they came up with a position for him. They didn’t care what he called, just to give way to the right people.
During the year he was fired. He said “they didn’t agree”, but I think that he was kicked out due to complete incompetence.
No, he never did any sales. His task was to find exits to the right people, communicate with customers at conferences and pave the way for the sales team. He had no idea how sales generally occur and what it requires. No clue.
Well, at least he was honest. It is a pity that I did not know all this before offering him a deal.
———————
I think any businessman can tell such a story. Everyone had a situation where the hired employee was not who he said he was. I just did not think that this could happen to me. I am well prepared! I read a hell of a lot of books! I knew all about bad workers and how to avoid them! I was not so stupid, damn it!
My company recovered in the end. I went back to my own sales tactics and soon got a very good deal. My next employee was a salesman again, but this time I already knew what to ask him. He turned out to be a great employee in the end.
The original in English is here .
- I will hire people who are smarter than me and aim for results
- trust them, let them do their work and provide all the necessary resources for this
- pay them a good salary and other amenities. Work from home? Why not.
- Do not brush aside resumes just because they do not have the necessary keywords. In the end, I am looking for Smart People Who Do Business, and not those who do well in the interview.
There was only one problem - at that time I was still not quite ready to afford to hire workers. Sales were quite enough to feed the business and its owner, but there was not enough stock. I would like to have at least a six-month salary in the bank, because the product sales cycle took several months.
')
Vice president
Miraculously, after some time, the former vice-president of my major competitor turned to me. He came up to me at an exhibition in which I participated with my product. The very Vice-President (VP) of the company with a turnover of 100 million dollars! True, the former, as he said himself. Anyway, I was shocked and excited.
I showed him my product, told about my company. He began to admire the product (I also thought he was great). “Damn it, why don't you sell it for 100 million a year?” He asked. I was confused and bleated something about the lack of sales experience, that I am more a programmer? than anything else and so on.
“In my mouth, my legs, I can easily sell this product for 10 million a year,” continued VP. His unceremonious manner surprised me a little, but it can and communicate at ITS level.
How realistic was what he was talking about? I knew that I myself would not be able to sell in such quantities. I am not an expert in this business and I know little else. But he knows what he is talking about. In the end, he is still vice president of business development for a 100-million-dollar company.
We talked a little more and he offered to work for me for free. Not really, of course, for free, for a percentage of sales. In the end, what am I losing? We are talking about sales, which would not exist without it. We agreed on a figure of 10%.
Just in case, I called the competitors and clarified. He really was their vice president. If he approached them, then surely it will suit me.
Alarm bells
I talked to my uncle (an experienced sales person). He advised me to be careful. “These guys,” he said, “they can go for anything to get a deal, and then you can deal with it. I have seen it hundreds of times. ”
There was nothing to worry about here. The client does not pay anything until the fully working system is implemented in his company. And up to this point, he does not receive any commission. I was protected from all sides.
I kept my promise to be a great boss. I entrusted him with the business, did not ask to send a copy of the correspondence with potential customers, printed brochures, pens with logos and other tinsel on his order. I wanted him to succeed.
One thing, however, I could not understand. I told him how much it would cost us to create a solution for one project. I said this to him so that he could calculate his commission, which was based on net profit. Then I received a copy of the letter in which he wrote to the customer, what exactly would it cost us to create this solution and “this means that we have enough resources to reduce the price”.
What salesman in his right mind calls the cost of the product? I asked him about it and he answered: “do not worry, the client knows that we earn on it”.
I did not see any logic in this, but in the end, who I was and who he was, the VP of a large company. I have the honor to learn the basics of business from him.
Then another strange thing happened. The client asked if we could demonstrate the product in their enterprise. I told him that we are not doing a demonstration, if we do not know for sure that the client has money and he is ready to buy. VP wrote to the client (and me a copy) literally the following: “Do you have money? Are you ready to buy? We do not demonstrate a product if you are not ready to buy right now. ”
How can you say such a client? But ... he was still the VP of a hundred million company. He knows this business and these buyers. Maybe they have a kind of insider joke? Maybe all high-level executives talk like that to each other. Wow. I still have so much to understand in this matter.
Then something else happened that didn't make sense to me. VP sent a sales forecast for the next three months and in the column “guaranteed to buy it for sure” there was a figure of 5 million. Wow, this is great news. But wait, here is one company from the list, I spoke with them recently. They said that now they have no funding, but maybe something will be in a couple of years. Why did they suddenly change their mind? I asked him and received an answer that yes, they have money and they are ready to buy right now.
Still, I was damn lucky. This guy is a genius! 5 million in the next three months !!!
Then he sent me a commercial offer that he had been working on for the last month. I must say that I showed him a typical offer that I sent to my clients, but he said that he would write from scratch better and more convincingly.
I started reading and my hair stood on end. It was just awful. Style student troechnika, a bunch of hackneyed stamps, tons of grammatical errors, the absence of any structure. All 15 pages in the same vein, I began to feel nauseous while I read to the end. I myself am not a writer and our clients are not English teachers, but there is a limit.
I asked him, trying not to hurt his feelings too much, whether he checked him for errors.
“Well, yes,” he replied, “I drove him through the spell checker and let his wife read it.”
“Well, hmm ... But you were writing such proposals for the previous work.”
“Not really. There were other people who wrote them, but I looked through them. But it turned out great, didn't it? ”
Here I could not resist. VP he or not, but this document is only to tear and throw away. This is my company and I cannot put my name on it. In the end, what does he think of himself? Why did he even undertake to write a commercial offer, knowing that he could not do this. He also spent a whole month on it.
He apologized. He said he wanted the best, but overestimated his strength. He thought he could write, but obviously it wasn’t, and he was fully aware of that.
————
I calmed down and pondered the situation. Okay, it happens. The guy does not know how to write. In the end, we can use my old templates and adapt them to new customers. In the end, it’s about 5 million in the next three months. Yes, for the money, I myself am ready to write sentences from morning to evening.
This is the end. I spent the night straightening the document and sent it to the client.
Three months have passed. There was no sales. That sentence that I wrote? It turned out that the client had never asked him to send and they had no money, but they thanked us for it.
The rest of the clients “suddenly lost funding” or “had to be postponed due to unforeseen circumstances, but they will definitely buy it next month.”
Six months have passed. Still no sales. It can still be understood - the sales cycle takes from several months to a year. In the end, he is VP of a hundred million company and works for me for free, and the company has enough money so that I myself can hold out for another six months.
But still something was wrong here. We decided that we would work on sales together and he began to send me a copy of each of his letters. Your mother It was just awful. His “sales technique” for the first new client was that he literally begged to buy them because “our company is about to fly into the pipe”. What idiot can write such a client? I demanded an answer.
“Well, it's true, isn't it? Believe me, I have been working in this industry for 30 years. I know that they are used to this. They are such people, ”he explained to me.
This could not continue. I felt deceived, and, which is especially unpleasant, I myself was to blame for this. I called him to the meeting and demanded answers.
Moment of truth
Here is what he said (solemn music). It turned out that he quit school. Drugs, booze, petty crimes, then he scrambled out and passed school exams as an external student. He worked as a fitter at the factory, he gradually served and grew up. He had excellent manners, was pleasant in communication, he remembered all the names. Turned the connection and moved up the stairs. All work shifted to subordinates. He worked in the same industry, he knew everyone in it. He worked as a consultant, did some work for a competitor. They liked him because they knew all the key figures in the industry. They offered him a job. He really wanted to be a VP and they came up with a position for him. They didn’t care what he called, just to give way to the right people.
During the year he was fired. He said “they didn’t agree”, but I think that he was kicked out due to complete incompetence.
No, he never did any sales. His task was to find exits to the right people, communicate with customers at conferences and pave the way for the sales team. He had no idea how sales generally occur and what it requires. No clue.
Well, at least he was honest. It is a pity that I did not know all this before offering him a deal.
———————
I think any businessman can tell such a story. Everyone had a situation where the hired employee was not who he said he was. I just did not think that this could happen to me. I am well prepared! I read a hell of a lot of books! I knew all about bad workers and how to avoid them! I was not so stupid, damn it!
My company recovered in the end. I went back to my own sales tactics and soon got a very good deal. My next employee was a salesman again, but this time I already knew what to ask him. He turned out to be a great employee in the end.
The original in English is here .
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/87918/
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