Professional toilet bowls, what can they be?

Our time is famous for its professionalism. Not in the sense that there are many professionals. It means that it has become fashionable to call professional any high-quality thing, with a price an order of magnitude higher than its counterparts. One day, a parabur colleague came out of the toilet with the thought, “Why are there no professional toilet bowls?”. And we began to fantasize on this topic, comparing with photographic equipment. Results below. :)

First, the appearance. Professional toilet just have to be black, and luxury copies - with a red seat, talking about the status of both the toilet and the owner. No frills and gloss, all for practicality. The material is pleasant to the touch, similar to rubberized plastic. On the market are tanks of various sizes, as well as seats of different shapes and designs of flush. The latter become the topic of holivars in all kinds of toilet forums. Someone thinks that a smooth oblique rinse steers, someone does not recognize anything other than "shelf" designs, dousing with shit "smooth."

Tanks - a separate topic for conversation. Along with the seat in the kit are usually cheap 6/3-liter whale tanks, with two drain buttons, respectively. But of course, their quality leaves much to be desired. Professionals say that they "smear", give a not quite clean surface and have a bad construct. In a word, you can wash it off, but you have to use an additional post-processing brush. It is clear that such a flush, like any full automatic, is offensive to real seruns. Therefore, they buy tanks with manual adjustment of the amount of water supplied. There is also a wheel of semi-automatic flush modes that facilitate the selection of settings: fluid priority, mass priority, and mixed mode for special cases.

Lack of washing and overflowing are frequent phenomena among novice amateurs, although some authors specifically use these techniques for creative purposes. Professionals are frankly arrogant to those who can not properly pick up the right amount of water. Here is a typical message from the serun forum (a photo of the flushing result is attached to the message):
"Help! I choose the priority of the liquid, as was taught for easy draining, but I feel a clear lack of lavage. I tried to manually twist the amount, but the result is not much and I feel that I am doing something wrong. ” And the typical answer: “Ponacup yourself toilet bowls, not understanding what's what, and climb with stupid questions! If you don’t make it through such simple things, then buy yourself a whale and wash it off in automatics! ” Also, the forum users do not like the rich little fools who buy, without hesitation, the biggest and most sophisticated tanks, and then complain about the huge consumption of water and strong noise.
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Speaking of noise. The sound of a professional toilet, too, must be firm. Real experts can distinguish the design of the washout and the model of the tank. Others operate with more abstract epithets, describing the sound of the toilet: deep, rich, like a waterfall, analog gurgle, soft shshsh, or on the contrary, too loud, not too loud, not enough revealed, too plastic.

Every year there are new modifications to the toilet. The forms of discharge and distribution of water evolve, overgrow with the settings of the control panel, and the control itself becomes completely digital. And the latest trend is toilet bowls with sink function. Professionals have a twisted nose in all forums, that this is nonsense from maestologists and that the toilet should only perform its main function, but amateurs have already taken a closer look at the function and are slowly starting to use it. Inconveniently, of course, but the quality of handwashing at the expense of 360 ° jets is much higher than in a simple sink with a tap.

But people tempted in the toilet, without listening to anyone, adhere to the classical constructions such as a toilet. They believe that only in a wooden toilet with a heart cut out on the door and a deep cesspool can one get real pleasure from this important process for all of us. Natural materials are labor, and flies and newspapers instead of paper only give a special atmosphere to the process. Such professionals with the busy lovers love to go out into the countryside to exchange skills and visit the work out toilets. Participants proudly demonstrate shit on sneakers, because in the outhouse it is, in the language of photography, already “not noise, but grain”. And who does not understand this - a limited person.

You can fantasize almost endlessly, but it's time to run to your cheap amateur toilet to do things. A shame of course, but necessary. :)