Ode to the “Post of Russia”

Leonid Kaganov in F5 yesterday published a beautiful piece inspired, apparently, by the latest events related to the Post of Russia. Clearly, subtly, smoothly, in the case.
Original post

I sing praises Russian mail! You do not fool me with an erupted brain with an e-mail. Believe me, another feeling is to hold a letter in an envelope, where the stamp, and wax, and wax, and marks! Stamps from paper! They have flowers, coats of arms and flags, yin-yang, fractal, bicycle ... am I confusing something? No matter! How I adore the paper envelope in postmarks! But, let's say, parcels. They fly like the wind in a field, like flocks of daws and a raven! In gray paper packaging! And the hairy ropes squeeze them from all sides! And the most important, real, mighty wooden box - plywood planed chest, it is called - the parcel! Reader ... I don't like your grin for a long time, my friend.

You cho, we have the proudest here? Who are you here wrung muzzle? Are you smarter than all people? Do you dislike our mail? Which will deliver everything that eBay decides to send you? She delivers, even if not immediately. Slightly beat the display and a vase, iphone and camera. Slightly open the package and something will get cleverly. But deliver! Are you not happy From the farthest point in the world in just four months (well, the maximum — in just a year), expensive, confused and complicated, probed by all customs, a valuable package will come.

You bastards, just insolent! Do you need to in a week? Answer, why are you silent, cretin? A week is up to the border with Russia. And we have become dusty as quarantine. Perhaps, we still have loads of dust from Union times - not all have been delivered yet. We have crammed with warehouses, we ourselves may not be happy, but so far have not reached the hand. Your parcels are millions. And the postmen, postmen, poor things, are carrying sledges through a blizzard and a forest. Is free? Thanks for what? What is their interest in this?
')
You say they have a salary? And that everywhere - in Europe, in the States - the price of delivery is two times more modest than in our mail? Fool another's head! Empty, silly words! I do not argue: yes, we have more. But how are you not ashamed, oh! It is a sin to count other people's money! You yourself think with your head: it is a shame to the big post office officials to live modestly than all the ministers of gas and customs. What, that it is impossible, and it is possible? Mess, injustice, horror! Withheld from the heart with pain - and the postman with a parcel wages dripping slightly.

And what's their salary? Our country is a country of rollback. Here, men in all ages kept all the paths and rivers, and everything that went from the Varyags to the Greeks, here left little tribute. And all that with Persia along the Volga. To list such a long time, but now the kid also knows: that the poor, the rich, do not work for wages, but to demand baksheesh. Electrician, janitor, doctor, teacher - bring any money, and only then the process will go. And only the postman, like Durik, works for you: in nature, he carries boxes for free!

Here he comes to the parcel. And he says to her: do you hear something, do you want to leave quickly? In response - silence, and only. He again she: Well, give me how much? Though the steward! Well, at least five rubles! Silent box of cardboard. He - hryas her in the end of the car. Takes another, five kilos. And whispers to her: need to leave? We do not have enough gasoline, we have covered the roads, we have partners in a drinking bout, we have ... but damn, what is this? Enough to be silent here, answer! After all, there is money, I see! He takes ticks, pliers and climbs inside to look.

And so the whole year. Six days a week. And you bastards, did your eBay really be rested? Found a device to scan pictures? Buy yourself a bottle of vodka in a stall for the same one hundred rubles! Do you want a computer on the cheap? Go to the barygam on the wholesaler - in the pawnshop "stall" for drunks! Found a machine with an overlock to make a dress with electric current? Do not jerk with your hands! And then, damn it, they are smart! They want the post office of Russia, like a boy, to run into every home! You ordered parcels, and the postman - drag a stretcher with your (mind you: your) good? So I will say this: say thanks, you bastard, that the mail is still working at least how! You will grumble a little more - and you yourself will carry your goods on all roads, eccentric!