A walk to the grocery store and a little overclock

"Life is good!"

Perhaps, to begin with, this story took place in the winter of 2006, after my name day. Since I am fond of overclocking the hardware (processors, video cards, etc.), the narration will go with a slant on it.

I marked my regular day of jam, I understand at work and at home. And my beloved wife decided to work for me to prepare a couple of salads “with shrimps” and “with squids”. At work, great noted, all colleagues were delighted with the salads. And especially the male part of our team liked the salad "with squid." Because the salad in a set has onions. As a result, the resulting taste is very vigorous.
')
And since we were planning another ... hmm ... another feast. I decided to please my colleagues with their favorite salad “with squids”. But, taking into account the shortcomings of the previous revision of the salad (the onion was painfully thermonuclear), it was decided to start (marinate) the onion. On the eve of the holiday, I soaked the onion in vinegar and went to work.

"It was getting dark ..." Zadornov (c)

My job is exactly with my place of residence. It was lunchtime, and I went for lunch. On the way, I call my wife and clarify the task (affects the service in the army :)). You must go to the store and buy the following: a dozen eggs, mayonnaise package, 300-400 timing belt. squid and package sauce. I heroically ran through the store and got everything in my hands (I just can't train myself to take a basket at the entrance). Packed products in the store's corporate package. I paid at the checkout and went out into the street.

Looking around the audience spinning near the store and looking at a large pack of dogs (poor mongrels chose a place near the store), I went home. It must be said here that spring that year was more like an icy winter - because of which the ground cover was covered with a thick layer of ice. Having taken a couple of steps, my left foot began to slip (maybe there is no such word in the great and mighty, but that was exactly the case). But my body coped with the load and did not let me get out of balance. "Did not fall" - I thought. And I began to think that during this winter I had never been on the ice. As time has shown, in vain I thought so.

The next couple of seconds will be remembered for all my life. Fall did not fall, but my body came into resonance with my package. And following the laws of physics, my legs rolled forward, and my hands began to frantically wave backwards (probably to maintain balance). After reading the last sentence, the reader may wonder, where was I - when it all happened with my body? I will answer. All this mess I was watching as if from the side. Because my brain was busy with more important things. It was then that a thought occurred to me - to test with the GeForce 6600 DDR2 a freak called Radeon X800 128 bits. So I was not up to my body and its position relative to the earth. The next thing I remember is that, having defeated the sliding of the legs forward, my whole body, along with my hands and the package, began an awesome movement in the same direction. And I already could not help it. In an obscure way, twisting, my body began to approach the earth. And then I began to realize that with my height of 193 cm, if I didn’t do anything, then I have all the chances to crush my face. And the first thing I did was fall to my knees, which allowed me to somewhat speed down the fall. But since I waved my hands frantically to keep the balance, you can imagine how fast the package (and overclocking :)) with products rushed to the ground (probably not every test pilot experienced as many G as my BED package). And I drove this package into the ice from all over (I drove the piles into the ground at the construction site), the pact still described the yellow arc (the color of the store) so beautifully in the air. What happened next, I can not remember without tears in my eyes ...

"It was getting dark ...

The day before the "disaster" snow fell. Kharkiv will not let me lie. Valiant wipers scattered this snow and put it in nice drifts ...

... from a blow, the package literally turned around. From the blast wave the contents of the package with great speed began to move in all directions. In the direction of my face, in the direction of my jacket, in a snowdrift and on ... a pancake, on the attendants, who usually "hang out" near the store. Eh ... I have not experienced such a shame for a long time. I am kneeling with my hands on the ice. Hands like a butcher's elbow is not in the blood of course, but in a terrible mixture of the contents of my package and dirty trampled snow. To shoot such a picture on video and send it to the editor of the program “Yourself Director” - in order to get a super prize. But that was only the beginning.

Now it is exactly what was getting dark ...

Contracted by the shock wave, or rather blinded by mayonnaise that broke free, I frantically began to collect the remnants of the package. As in this form, I could not afford to go back to the store purely for human reasons. Going around the store and scaring visitors with your horrible look, I don’t feel like it. I also could not upset my colleagues with the lack of salad. So, the most important thing at that time is to FIND squid, mayonnaise (its part was on my face and jacket is already easier) and eggs - at least what was left of them. I found the mayo in half a meter from myself - the bottom of the package vomited, but still half remained. And, from where did these dogs with their attendants come from. The dogs are still nothing, they began to absorb the remnants of my provisions. But the grandmother came running and began to help me morally. Many versions were put forward, but for me the version was the most offensive - that I was drunk and how ashamed I am not. Anyway. It remains to find squid (they are sold in frozen form - in bars). Next to me, I did not find them. And it upset me greatly. Did the dogs have already managed to steal? But mentally imagining the trajectory of the package, I realized that squid with the greatest weight (about 450 grams) had to break through the package’s flesh and fly away towards a snowdrift. Yes, that is right. Rising to my feet, I staggered to the snowdrift of interest to me. Poshariv hands in the snowdrift, was rewarded - squid were in my hands. Having pressed the remnants of food to my chest (why I did it like this - then I washed the jacket for a long and tedious time at home) I went home. I was walking as a partisan, so as not to catch my eye. It's a shame because! "All covered with greens, absolutely all" - as the hero Mironov sings. Only I was covered in another. The closer I got to the house, the more I felt a fit of laughter. This is how my wife met me on the threshold of the apartment. And the most important thing ... she understood me. And we laughed happily together. Yes, here it is HAPPINESS.

In the evening at the table, I told the story of my salad to my colleagues. And everything was great!

Good luck to you acceleration!