Manage your emotions!
As promised, I will try as a continuation of the topic about serving myself, to touch on a rather controversial area - the area of emotions and try to tell how managing emotions can help in difficult times.
Immediately I will warn you: I myself cope with my emotions with difficulty, not immediately, sometimes auxiliary techniques are required. But on the other hand, what are these emotions, if they are so easy to beat? No, emotions are the essence of our life, and the stronger they are, the brighter life is. But still, sometimes oh, how I want some of them to put out. How?
I do not promise any revelations here, but I will try to talk about purely practical methods of mastering myself :)
')
So, the postulate: emotions always arise. Their eradication is possible. But only in the coffin. Emotions are both positive and negative. Both those and others are usually impossible to hide. If you are caught in a love flame, then the whole world knows about it, including the radio host from your headphones, and if you have a bad fight ... It’s better not to get close to you :)
How do we know the mood of the other person? Of the gestures, a little more energetic words used dictionary.
The paradox is that the interlocutor, as a rule, perceives, say, the aggression proceeding from you, at his own expense. And involuntarily tensed, they say what he guilty? Agree that to communicate with a person, for no reason at all starting to swear over trifles or foaming at the mouth to prove something is quite difficult and unpleasant.
Reception is the first: if you talk to a person, and you have a bad mood, they scream at the soul of the cat and in general, I want to strangle, it often helps out loud and openly tell him that the cause of your mental discomfort is not in him. Thereby you from the contender can get the sympathizer. And in this way it is much easier to communicate. Just don’t have to throw out all your problems on him and howl like you are bad - not many people like to solve other problems for free :)
However, it also happens that you go to work (school, meeting) in a great mood, but there you are subjected to severe pressure. Unfortunately, in our boyish society it is customary: to test the interlocutor for strength and communicate your thoughts with the help of a hammer. This is unpleasant, but it is better to learn how to deal with it. With his indignation, with the storm of negativity, they say what he has the right and what he imagined!
Reception two: if you feel that you are being bugged out of business, under pressure, threatened with punishments, you just ... wait. Do not say anything, but try to keep calm. Let the storm run out. It acts in the best way possible on the runner. To "absorb" the splashed out, you can imagine yourself a warm, vast sea. And throwing stones at him. The sea easily and without residue will absorb the stones, while remaining still the same warm and pleasant. If after the raids you can sincerely say: “Yes, I love you too,” it means that you have mastered this technique perfectly.
It also happens that run into the case. Nakosyachili, forgotten, did not consider. And internally you agree with the opponent, but no one likes to feel guilty. And a mistake is made - excuses begin. Justifications only exacerbate the abuse of the opponent, because he sees you slip away from the press. He begins to search for and think out the strokes of the problem (yes, I told you 5 years ago - learn the lessons!) And convinces himself of your inconsistency. However, there is a way out. It's very simple
Reception three: do not make excuses. Take the blame, or rather the part that is really yours. If the opponent sees that he has achieved his “goal” (the goal is usually good - to set you on the right path), he himself begins to look more critically at “irrefutable proofs of your depravity” and will remove some of them :) Just mind you: sincere! A phrase like: “Yes, yes, I know, I am a sucker. What do you want from me! ”Is no good :)
By the way, for some reason in our society it is customary to exaggerate negative and stop positive emotions. Irritation and discontent has become the typical behavior of many. Do not give in! Let your own joy be a stronger atmosphere than that of those around you! Radiate joy, openness, kindness, readiness for dialogue and people will turn their best side to you!
Threat By the way, about the creation of the atmosphere and the "hacking" of someone else will also tell, but not now, so as not to mix 2 themes.
Immediately I will warn you: I myself cope with my emotions with difficulty, not immediately, sometimes auxiliary techniques are required. But on the other hand, what are these emotions, if they are so easy to beat? No, emotions are the essence of our life, and the stronger they are, the brighter life is. But still, sometimes oh, how I want some of them to put out. How?
I do not promise any revelations here, but I will try to talk about purely practical methods of mastering myself :)
')
So, the postulate: emotions always arise. Their eradication is possible. But only in the coffin. Emotions are both positive and negative. Both those and others are usually impossible to hide. If you are caught in a love flame, then the whole world knows about it, including the radio host from your headphones, and if you have a bad fight ... It’s better not to get close to you :)
How do we know the mood of the other person? Of the gestures, a little more energetic words used dictionary.
The paradox is that the interlocutor, as a rule, perceives, say, the aggression proceeding from you, at his own expense. And involuntarily tensed, they say what he guilty? Agree that to communicate with a person, for no reason at all starting to swear over trifles or foaming at the mouth to prove something is quite difficult and unpleasant.
Reception is the first: if you talk to a person, and you have a bad mood, they scream at the soul of the cat and in general, I want to strangle, it often helps out loud and openly tell him that the cause of your mental discomfort is not in him. Thereby you from the contender can get the sympathizer. And in this way it is much easier to communicate. Just don’t have to throw out all your problems on him and howl like you are bad - not many people like to solve other problems for free :)
However, it also happens that you go to work (school, meeting) in a great mood, but there you are subjected to severe pressure. Unfortunately, in our boyish society it is customary: to test the interlocutor for strength and communicate your thoughts with the help of a hammer. This is unpleasant, but it is better to learn how to deal with it. With his indignation, with the storm of negativity, they say what he has the right and what he imagined!
Reception two: if you feel that you are being bugged out of business, under pressure, threatened with punishments, you just ... wait. Do not say anything, but try to keep calm. Let the storm run out. It acts in the best way possible on the runner. To "absorb" the splashed out, you can imagine yourself a warm, vast sea. And throwing stones at him. The sea easily and without residue will absorb the stones, while remaining still the same warm and pleasant. If after the raids you can sincerely say: “Yes, I love you too,” it means that you have mastered this technique perfectly.
It also happens that run into the case. Nakosyachili, forgotten, did not consider. And internally you agree with the opponent, but no one likes to feel guilty. And a mistake is made - excuses begin. Justifications only exacerbate the abuse of the opponent, because he sees you slip away from the press. He begins to search for and think out the strokes of the problem (yes, I told you 5 years ago - learn the lessons!) And convinces himself of your inconsistency. However, there is a way out. It's very simple
Reception three: do not make excuses. Take the blame, or rather the part that is really yours. If the opponent sees that he has achieved his “goal” (the goal is usually good - to set you on the right path), he himself begins to look more critically at “irrefutable proofs of your depravity” and will remove some of them :) Just mind you: sincere! A phrase like: “Yes, yes, I know, I am a sucker. What do you want from me! ”Is no good :)
By the way, for some reason in our society it is customary to exaggerate negative and stop positive emotions. Irritation and discontent has become the typical behavior of many. Do not give in! Let your own joy be a stronger atmosphere than that of those around you! Radiate joy, openness, kindness, readiness for dialogue and people will turn their best side to you!
Threat By the way, about the creation of the atmosphere and the "hacking" of someone else will also tell, but not now, so as not to mix 2 themes.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/82328/
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