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Online banking Alpha Client online, or I am indignant!

It so happened that my office had to move to a new bank, namely, Alfa-Bank, as a result of the acquisition of our local bank. Accordingly, from the old Internet bank, the accounts were transferred to the new, Alphabank Alpha Client.

Today I had to pay some bills and I, armed with passwords and the key, ventured to get inside the new Internet bank.

First, I installed all the shit that went on the disk. Moreover, there you need to install 2 programs in a certain sequence - debilizm - it was impossible to merge them into one? Moreover, one of them did not want to install under the 7th Windows, had to run a long-forgotten XP. Everything there with a terrible screech established. Then I went to the registration center page and did everything as it is written in the help - this misery gave me some data on the web page, I saved them just in case, I thought that they would be useful. All these actions, it seems, were aimed at creating some kind of certificate in the key that I plugged into the usb port.
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I ask under the cat. Warning! No mat there in any way!


Further.

For 5 minutes I was looking for how to create a payment document template, 15 minutes filled out a template form, then saved it. Then I searched for another 15 minutes where the templates are stored. Not found. Do you think that if you created a document template, then logically, after creating it, you can open it, add some data and save it to a new file (as is customary in the entire sane world, but not in Alfa Bank). After creating a template, they have this template in the so-called “packages”; it’s such a thing, as I understand it, that combines several payment documents into one transaction. Here only the fuck this is necessary for an ordinary sane person, that * Aha, it’s impossible to send documents one by one, why the hell do complicate things? Duck no, here we must podnasrat and ruin life.

Okay, I see, in my “package” 2 (this is because I clicked 2 times on the save button) of a template (template, not payments) that can be edited, that is, you can specify the amount. One template was removed from the package, and in the second one I wrote the amount I want to transfer.

We go further.

I stuck it for a long time, looking at the scattering of buttons and thinking which buttons to press them so that the payment was already gone. Duck no. It turns out that you first need to put some fucking signature so that you can list the loot. But it’s not enough for them, it’s for ** anam, it turns out, before putting this very signature, it needs to be downloaded somehow through the ass, indicating the certificate and the pin code. Okay, I have a pin-code, but from what asshole do I need to get this certificate when there is a browse field ... (select a file from the disk), and in the registration center this certificate is stored in the key stuck in usb, which is not accessible as to the carrier. It is * incomprehensible.

I already fucked this way with this fucking Internet bank, I even tried it in IE6, I thought something would change. Even updated the JRE, and the security certificate for it from the Alphabank site - and fucking!

Maybe I'm stupid? How should people work with this product, and especially the aunt accountant? Does anyone in general work with this product, or do doubts torment me?

We should also say for the interface of this supersystem. Fuck such a small font in the tables? Why are the buttons arranged chaotically? How to understand what to do next? Why in IE, after each reloading of the page, does a *** search alert occur? Why AT ALL is intuitively incomprehensible? There are a lot of things.

Hey you, uebany, I’m talking about you, hydrocephalus developers and pedal designers, those who made this Internet bank, where are you, answer me !?

I would deprive these developers of anal virginity 13 salaries and would dismiss, on the site of management, together with the head of the IT department. Created just unrealistic curve product, just some PPC. I just fall into prostration when I use it. Is there such a fabulous online bank in the CIS that is convenient to use and made for people?
I highly recommend that everyone not contact the Internet Bank Alpha Client until everything changes for the better. I hope my post will give impetus to work to improve this miracle of engineering.

Damn, Tyoma Lebedev! If you are reading this post, then know that I did well this year, so I ask you to give me a Christmas present - to design them normally for them ** An Internet bank, otherwise the website did, but I forgot about the Internet bank.

Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/75430/


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