Beltelecom. Comedy in three acts

Beltelecom. Tragicomedy in three acts.

Characters:
Beltelecom (B)
Provider (Pr)
Buyer (P)

Deciphering technical terms:
1. Bicycle - fixed wired connection, regular landline phone (disk).
2. Rickshaw - Internet via 56k modem.
3. Stroller - Telephone line charge
4. Disabled - Rural residents and other low-income groups of the population
4a. - Cross Subsidy
5. Orphans - Beltelecom employees and Officials
6. Rickshaw with a motor - dedicated line isdn 64 kbit / s
7. Car - ADSL connection
7a. VAZ - ADSL at a speed of 32-64 kbps
7b. Ford - ADSL at a speed of 256 - 1024 kbps
8. Aviation - Mobile Operators (GSM, CDMA)
8a. Rickshaw with a propeller - Mobile Internet
9. Transportation - All Telecommunications Services
10. Kilometers - Pay per megabyte
11. Feeder - Monopoly

ACT 1

The end of the 90s. Beltelecom is the largest representative of the “transport” (9) market of the republic. Engaged in the production of bicycles (1), scooters and other vehicles.

Announcement: “New model from Beltelecom - Rickshaw (2)!”
The buyer finds out the details.
P: - What is this?
B: - How so? Personal transport!!!
- How much is?
- 50 rubles ... per minute, well, and we for the stroller 5 rubles ... per minute (3)
- Expensive
- What did you want? Advanced import technology!
')
Provider appears.
Pr: - Do you sell in bulk?
B: - We need to think, okay, take 55 per minute, plus a stroller, plus taxes
Pr: - Expensive
B: - You're a businessman - well advertised, you sell more. I am a benefactor, damn it, bicycles for people with disabilities (4) cheaply (4a) I give. And orphans (5) I have tens of thousands in care - everyone wants to eat!
Pr: - Perhaps I will take a dozen
B: I still have such with a motor (6), only 3 000 000 per month
Etc: ?!
Pr: - And by the way, why do you need so many orphans, let them go somewhere else are fed
B: - Have you ever seen such a feeder as mine?
Pr: - And why bicycles for all people with disabilities?
B: - GO TRADE, speculator! Do not bother to work!

ACT 2

Several years have passed.
Announcement: “New offer from Beltelecom - Car (7)!”

The buyer is interested.

P: - Tell me more.
B: - This is the most advanced technology in the West! VAZ-2101 (7a) for only 1,000,000 rubles
P: - I heard that in the west now they are driving Ford cars (7b), and for less money. Maybe I'll go buy myself?
B: - Come on. We have already gone so smart - they are now in prison. Here, except me, no one can be engaged in charity! The law is written!
The buyer leaves sad.

Immediately the Provider appears.
Pr: - Do you sell cars in bulk?
B: - Take it, 1 500 000 plus taxes ... Or take Ford for 15 million, generally cool!
Etc: - ?!
B: - You can sell for parts. Give a good advertisement ...
B: - And don’t think of supplying me from abroad, well, you yourself know everything.
Pr: - Let's two dozen Zhiguli and 1 Ford.

Announcement: “New offers from Provider - Cars!
- VAZ-2101! Like new, painted! Jokingly overtakes the flying carpet! Only 1,000,000!
(dismantled, surcharge for each kilometer)
- Ford! Almost new, painted, polished! Cosmic speeds! For the wealthy - for 9 900 000!
(dismantled, without engine, payment of 1000 rubles for each kilometer)
- New Rickshaw! Carries free night - for food!
(100 rubles per km) "

The bespectacled buyer tries to find out the details of the provider.

P: - And what for me at night to rickshaw ride? I sleep at night.
Pr: - Oh, you village! At night, they all chase! Who is on the case, but mostly in high places (*)!
- And if I buy a Lada, why pay for kilometers (10)?
- Everybody pays!
- And abroad do not pay.
- Here and get out abroad!
- And if I collect a Ford, how can I go without an engine?
- We will disperse you for a small fee - ooh how we will disperse!
- And then?
- Then we will again accelerate to maximum speed!
- Ie payment for mileage?
- (quietly) Yes, go already, you still have no money.

The buyer leaves, thinking: “It is wrong somehow. I pay for a rickshaw or a car that is 100 times more expensive than they cost. ”
A representative of Beltelecom is quietly sneaking up behind.

B: - Do you want to offend the orphans !?
P: - No, that you! But you and the providers pay, and I, and even Aviation (9)!
B: - Who told you such a heresy, Aviation on cost accounting!
P: - Aviators, for each flight, unfasten you 100 ruble lines, 1,000 for international, and also buy rickshaws (learned to fasten propellers) (8a).
B: - Lies is all! I help disabled people! I feed the orphans!

ACT 3

Nowadays. Already the N-th year, it is rumored that Beltelekom will be taken off the feeder (11).

Ads:
“New offer from Beltelecom - Ford for 150,000 rubles!”
“We feed over 25,000 orphans !!”
“We help people with disabilities!”
"99% of disabled people with our bikes!"

Instantly, a provider appears in the office of Beltelecom.
Pr: - I take all the Fords of 150,000!
B: - No, this is only for the Buyer. He was so sad last time. For you, 1 200 000. In six months the discount of women will be 15%. Only you tell everyone how I help people with disabilities, I get cars for overseas to get expensive cars, by the way, for currency!
Pr: - Is it true that you are going to take away the feeder?
B: - You will not wait for her anyway! Goodbye!

The buyer rides a Ford, produced in 1998, pleased says: “And next year, maybe a Mercedes for such a price will be sold! And maybe cheaper - both abroad! And the Provider, a redneck, could have sold cheaper! He does not need to feed the orphans! ”

The end?

PS
Why did I write this?
1. Now there are articles that after the sale of the feeder will not get better, but on the contrary, it may become worse.
2. Show that cross-subsidization is only a cover for “Orphan”.

I do not work for any of the providers.
I don’t consider any characters as bad or good. Simply, there is a system that rolls by inertia, and tries to find excuse from any changes.