For such a service it is necessary to remove the scalp!
A month ago, the New York Post wrote a note in the “industry thriller” genre about how Verizon’s techie blew up a disgruntled customer of the company with blood and warmed up his face with a pair of uppercuts, putting him on the floor of the unfortunate "botany". Waking up on that ill-fated day on the wrong foot, Aubrey Isaacson refused to let the Verizon installer go to the apartment's door until he showed his documents. He presented - and repeatedly: first with one hand, then with the other. No doubt - people who are dissatisfied with their Internet, around the world zillions, because providers mess and mow everywhere. Only here, I am afraid, cases opposite to the American one will become massive in speed. It is in our country that users will very soon begin to “muddle" their providers for disgusting service, insolent pofigism and shameless rudeness. Why ask? Let's figure it out.
Let's start with the simplest - connect. At first, you stand in a queue with petitions for weeks, asking for your permission to organize a cherished connection. Thank God, in the capital it is already free. In the regions, you will be ripped off from fifty to one hundred and above bucks. I don’t argue, the connection costs the operator money, but the right word is when up to ten points appear in the connection price list, like “port leasing for a DSLAM provider” - it looks like a regular mockery of a client for which any abbreviations are a dark forest and gibberish. Well, to hell with him! After all, they offer you to sit for a week at home, waiting for the installation team to crawl to you. Drive to work, my friends, if you are hungry for the Internet. Sweaty vunoshes with burning eyes, smelly socks and perforators over their shoulders know only one mantra - “let us make a hole in our wall!”. Spit on repairs, comrades. Throwing a dusty wire into the corridor and pressing colored wires, the guys put a tick in their list and rush to leave the "crime scene." The Internet you like held.
And finally, your life together begins. The first "scandals" begin after a few days. There is no Internet, turn on the computer - and “on the dick screen”! You did not touch anything, did not change, and he was gone. You call the support service (well, if you recorded the phone in advance), you spend hours listening to two or three songs from the collection “The Romantic Collection”, and when you get to a living person, you will find out that “you have problems with the equipment”. For example, my favorite answer is “you have changed the settings”. God forbid, out of a hundred real people there are on the strength of two or three freaks who are ready to dig into the settings of the hardware. True, they, probably, will call for support last. “Your network card is defective” - aha, it burned down on the second day, didn’t bear the shame when I rated the photos on Odnoklassniki. “Your computer is sending viruses, the system has disabled it” - yeah, Kaspersky doesn’t cope, “we recommend that you remove your anti-virus software and install Dr. Web checked by us”. Of course, here it is the secret of success! And so you can fuck your brain for months, until you finally start hysteria and threaten with court. If you shout loudly enough, you can reach out to some manager - and the Internet will miraculously work the next day.
Let's go further. Speeds Everyone who is at least a little familiar with the technologies of the global network, is known: the provider cannot guarantee you any speed, it can only provide you with some promised ceiling. But whether you can achieve it is a question for you, your equipment, the servers you are accessing, and so on. But damn it, I know how to squeeze the maximum out of the provider! You connect to the most popular distribution on torrents - and you look at the speed sensor. Doubtful, tell me? Well, I have a lot of wires at home, I immediately switch to another provider, which means I can compare. One gives a speed of eight megabits per second out of ten, the other - two megabits out of six. On the same computer, on the same distribution. It seems to me that this is called “caught on a nabka”. Recently, a British regulator Ofcom shared the results of his research on speeds. It turned out that the average access speed of subscribers is two times less than that advertised by providers. The conclusion is simple: brains are composted everywhere. However, only here we can stick your porch with advertisements “the fastest Internet in Moscow”, when optics are not even thrown into your home, and the connection is organized using the most primitive radio relay with a peak speed of several megabits.
')
Moving on. Access equipment. Almost a year and a half ago, I moved to a new lair, and the first thing, of course, was to attend to the connection of a good Internet. My choice fell on “Corbin” - good, symmetrical speeds, rich internal resources, and finally, acquaintance with the management of the company - in order to solve possible problems as quickly as possible. Not the last role in my decision was played by the fact that the company had routers, on which it was written that they were “tested, pre-configured and recommended” by the company for reliable connection. How I was naive! Yes, I found the pre-settings, but all this was a spray of “Paco Rabann” on yellow poop. The Zyxel P-330W router turned out to be a real damnation: the network held disgustingly, hung up for half an hour, regularly cut down Wi-Fi - and, in the end, was sent to a box with hardware until better times. I then asked myself: how much does one have to lose one's conscience to allow writing on frank “shit” - recommended for use? Really kickbacks?
A year has passed. Deciding that techies had enough time to fix all the possible jambs, I pulled out a cherished "poop", put the latest firmware without the prefixes "beta" and got to Corbina. In vain. The router lasted exactly a day, after which the glitches became only more and longer. The support service only answered me that the company was not engaged in the equipment. They sent, in general, a long way. Finally, the router died completely.
Do you know how many people “hit” just like me? Thousands! At the Corbin forum, over two hundred pages are devoted to this damn router! People have been fucking for many years with how to set up equipment that says "tested and recommended." They change the firmware, conjure over the settings, write the whole wallets of manuals like "how to set it up so that it crashes only once a week." Finally, whole shamanistic teachings appeared: do you need to put a tick on IPSec or not, which is more reliable - PPTP or L2TP, which MTU value should be in the range from 1460 to 1530. Do you think this is a problem only from Zyxel? By no means. If you buy a router from ASUS, on the forum you will find out that he is more or less friendly with Corbina only if you find the coveted firmware from Oleg on the Internet.
I have a question: how can you consider yourself a serious business, if you sell your customers a service that only works with the coveted firmware “from Oleg” and generates the “secret MTU” shamanistic schools? Yes, we scold and swear by how much cellular operators are in vain, but, let me, I recently plugged a modem from MTS into my laptop - and all the settings, along with the access client, “fell” to me, so after five minutes I calmly went to Network. But there is the same "Huawei", only a piece of iron is smaller and cheaper. What prevents providers from assigning the most frost-bitten of their freak-techies, so that they understand at least with their equipment? Why not send sms to clients when an accident happens, especially since you have a solid convergence there? Why does Google know how to send me free reminders and warnings an hour before any entry in my calendar, and providers, with their vaunted convergence, can only hide their heads in the sand?
Do not be naive: Internet providers hate around the world. That in Germany, that in France, that in Britain. Ask your friends in Germany, read the forums Orange or Virgin Media. Curse how much in vain. The problems are the same. But there is one difference. Western providers have reached some critical level of self-awareness and competitiveness, when, finally, despite all their shoals, they began to think about how to solve your problems, rather than fight back, explaining why something there once again does not work. I was most shocked by the incident in New York, when I experienced the strength of the American T-Mobile customer service.
Here is how it was. My colleague Max Bukin, a PCWEEK columnist, and I were stuck for several days in New York waiting for the Beeline presentation on the NYSE. We decided to go online from Starbucks, where we found Wi-Fi from T-Mobile. We have “struck” a few of our cards, dropped money into the account, but the Internet did not work. Going on the principle, we began to look for the T-Mobile salon to figure it out. Found The seller of telephones from the salon attentively listened to my story - and undertook to solve our problem, although I didn’t understand a damn thing in wi-fayah. He immediately offered to call support. We can not, I answered, it would be too expensive for us to call from my mobile. Let's call directly from our phone, suggested the boy. I'm afraid I can’t understand everything that your support team will tell me, I doubted. Nothing, we will arrange for you to transfer, immediately there was a guy. And they organized, moreover, they did not listen to the melodies, they phoned right away. True, no matter how we suffered, nothing worked. It was the second hour of "frictions". Everyone was nervous. But the guy did not lose heart. I asked him to repeat all the steps that we were advised on the phone. He repeated - in vain, although the money in the account hung. Then he offered us to buy a pin from him for a new account, maybe it will work for good luck. We spat - and bought. Again in vain. Finally, he rang somewhere, cracked a couple of minutes - and brought us some login and password on a piece of paper. Forgive me, please, that our service brought you so many problems, please take these details, we activated two weeks of free access to our internet, use them, please, and try to forget about all the misunderstandings. It is easy to see that the guy, even if he was thinking how to get rid of us, knew only one way to do it — to solve our problem. And he decided it, although he did not understand a damn thing in the “wi-fayah” and “Internet”.
But with our self-awareness and competition somehow does not add up. That is why, probably, stories arise, like the hysteria of Anton Uralsky, which went down in history, thanks to his legendary conversation with the support service of Stream. Perhaps, if the competition does not add up, it is worthwhile to turn to more intelligible tools of suggestion and therapy? For example, to go and fill the face with a poker to the director of your provider, bring him to his senses, how does another “hysterics” threaten - a user of Corbin from Peter?
// Sergey Skripnikov
columnist www.content-review.com
Let's start with the simplest - connect. At first, you stand in a queue with petitions for weeks, asking for your permission to organize a cherished connection. Thank God, in the capital it is already free. In the regions, you will be ripped off from fifty to one hundred and above bucks. I don’t argue, the connection costs the operator money, but the right word is when up to ten points appear in the connection price list, like “port leasing for a DSLAM provider” - it looks like a regular mockery of a client for which any abbreviations are a dark forest and gibberish. Well, to hell with him! After all, they offer you to sit for a week at home, waiting for the installation team to crawl to you. Drive to work, my friends, if you are hungry for the Internet. Sweaty vunoshes with burning eyes, smelly socks and perforators over their shoulders know only one mantra - “let us make a hole in our wall!”. Spit on repairs, comrades. Throwing a dusty wire into the corridor and pressing colored wires, the guys put a tick in their list and rush to leave the "crime scene." The Internet you like held.
And finally, your life together begins. The first "scandals" begin after a few days. There is no Internet, turn on the computer - and “on the dick screen”! You did not touch anything, did not change, and he was gone. You call the support service (well, if you recorded the phone in advance), you spend hours listening to two or three songs from the collection “The Romantic Collection”, and when you get to a living person, you will find out that “you have problems with the equipment”. For example, my favorite answer is “you have changed the settings”. God forbid, out of a hundred real people there are on the strength of two or three freaks who are ready to dig into the settings of the hardware. True, they, probably, will call for support last. “Your network card is defective” - aha, it burned down on the second day, didn’t bear the shame when I rated the photos on Odnoklassniki. “Your computer is sending viruses, the system has disabled it” - yeah, Kaspersky doesn’t cope, “we recommend that you remove your anti-virus software and install Dr. Web checked by us”. Of course, here it is the secret of success! And so you can fuck your brain for months, until you finally start hysteria and threaten with court. If you shout loudly enough, you can reach out to some manager - and the Internet will miraculously work the next day.
Let's go further. Speeds Everyone who is at least a little familiar with the technologies of the global network, is known: the provider cannot guarantee you any speed, it can only provide you with some promised ceiling. But whether you can achieve it is a question for you, your equipment, the servers you are accessing, and so on. But damn it, I know how to squeeze the maximum out of the provider! You connect to the most popular distribution on torrents - and you look at the speed sensor. Doubtful, tell me? Well, I have a lot of wires at home, I immediately switch to another provider, which means I can compare. One gives a speed of eight megabits per second out of ten, the other - two megabits out of six. On the same computer, on the same distribution. It seems to me that this is called “caught on a nabka”. Recently, a British regulator Ofcom shared the results of his research on speeds. It turned out that the average access speed of subscribers is two times less than that advertised by providers. The conclusion is simple: brains are composted everywhere. However, only here we can stick your porch with advertisements “the fastest Internet in Moscow”, when optics are not even thrown into your home, and the connection is organized using the most primitive radio relay with a peak speed of several megabits.
')
Moving on. Access equipment. Almost a year and a half ago, I moved to a new lair, and the first thing, of course, was to attend to the connection of a good Internet. My choice fell on “Corbin” - good, symmetrical speeds, rich internal resources, and finally, acquaintance with the management of the company - in order to solve possible problems as quickly as possible. Not the last role in my decision was played by the fact that the company had routers, on which it was written that they were “tested, pre-configured and recommended” by the company for reliable connection. How I was naive! Yes, I found the pre-settings, but all this was a spray of “Paco Rabann” on yellow poop. The Zyxel P-330W router turned out to be a real damnation: the network held disgustingly, hung up for half an hour, regularly cut down Wi-Fi - and, in the end, was sent to a box with hardware until better times. I then asked myself: how much does one have to lose one's conscience to allow writing on frank “shit” - recommended for use? Really kickbacks?
A year has passed. Deciding that techies had enough time to fix all the possible jambs, I pulled out a cherished "poop", put the latest firmware without the prefixes "beta" and got to Corbina. In vain. The router lasted exactly a day, after which the glitches became only more and longer. The support service only answered me that the company was not engaged in the equipment. They sent, in general, a long way. Finally, the router died completely.
Do you know how many people “hit” just like me? Thousands! At the Corbin forum, over two hundred pages are devoted to this damn router! People have been fucking for many years with how to set up equipment that says "tested and recommended." They change the firmware, conjure over the settings, write the whole wallets of manuals like "how to set it up so that it crashes only once a week." Finally, whole shamanistic teachings appeared: do you need to put a tick on IPSec or not, which is more reliable - PPTP or L2TP, which MTU value should be in the range from 1460 to 1530. Do you think this is a problem only from Zyxel? By no means. If you buy a router from ASUS, on the forum you will find out that he is more or less friendly with Corbina only if you find the coveted firmware from Oleg on the Internet.
I have a question: how can you consider yourself a serious business, if you sell your customers a service that only works with the coveted firmware “from Oleg” and generates the “secret MTU” shamanistic schools? Yes, we scold and swear by how much cellular operators are in vain, but, let me, I recently plugged a modem from MTS into my laptop - and all the settings, along with the access client, “fell” to me, so after five minutes I calmly went to Network. But there is the same "Huawei", only a piece of iron is smaller and cheaper. What prevents providers from assigning the most frost-bitten of their freak-techies, so that they understand at least with their equipment? Why not send sms to clients when an accident happens, especially since you have a solid convergence there? Why does Google know how to send me free reminders and warnings an hour before any entry in my calendar, and providers, with their vaunted convergence, can only hide their heads in the sand?
Do not be naive: Internet providers hate around the world. That in Germany, that in France, that in Britain. Ask your friends in Germany, read the forums Orange or Virgin Media. Curse how much in vain. The problems are the same. But there is one difference. Western providers have reached some critical level of self-awareness and competitiveness, when, finally, despite all their shoals, they began to think about how to solve your problems, rather than fight back, explaining why something there once again does not work. I was most shocked by the incident in New York, when I experienced the strength of the American T-Mobile customer service.
Here is how it was. My colleague Max Bukin, a PCWEEK columnist, and I were stuck for several days in New York waiting for the Beeline presentation on the NYSE. We decided to go online from Starbucks, where we found Wi-Fi from T-Mobile. We have “struck” a few of our cards, dropped money into the account, but the Internet did not work. Going on the principle, we began to look for the T-Mobile salon to figure it out. Found The seller of telephones from the salon attentively listened to my story - and undertook to solve our problem, although I didn’t understand a damn thing in wi-fayah. He immediately offered to call support. We can not, I answered, it would be too expensive for us to call from my mobile. Let's call directly from our phone, suggested the boy. I'm afraid I can’t understand everything that your support team will tell me, I doubted. Nothing, we will arrange for you to transfer, immediately there was a guy. And they organized, moreover, they did not listen to the melodies, they phoned right away. True, no matter how we suffered, nothing worked. It was the second hour of "frictions". Everyone was nervous. But the guy did not lose heart. I asked him to repeat all the steps that we were advised on the phone. He repeated - in vain, although the money in the account hung. Then he offered us to buy a pin from him for a new account, maybe it will work for good luck. We spat - and bought. Again in vain. Finally, he rang somewhere, cracked a couple of minutes - and brought us some login and password on a piece of paper. Forgive me, please, that our service brought you so many problems, please take these details, we activated two weeks of free access to our internet, use them, please, and try to forget about all the misunderstandings. It is easy to see that the guy, even if he was thinking how to get rid of us, knew only one way to do it — to solve our problem. And he decided it, although he did not understand a damn thing in the “wi-fayah” and “Internet”.
But with our self-awareness and competition somehow does not add up. That is why, probably, stories arise, like the hysteria of Anton Uralsky, which went down in history, thanks to his legendary conversation with the support service of Stream. Perhaps, if the competition does not add up, it is worthwhile to turn to more intelligible tools of suggestion and therapy? For example, to go and fill the face with a poker to the director of your provider, bring him to his senses, how does another “hysterics” threaten - a user of Corbin from Peter?
// Sergey Skripnikov
columnist www.content-review.com
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/69166/
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