"How to avoid unnecessary problems" or "how I turned out to be a bastard"

Quite often, relationships between people are realized according to the Karpman Triangle scheme:

The point is this: there is initially a tyrant pursuing the victim (for example, the director berates the programmer). Then a rescuer appears (for example, a manager) who “intercepts” for the victim. And all would be nothing if it were not for one " but " ...

The greatest danger of the triangle lies in its dynamism. Almost always after the arrival of the rescuer roles change. And the rescuer will surely become a victim in one of the scenarios:
1. Tyrant switches his aggression to the rescuer (unpleasant, but tolerable)
2. The victim becomes a tyrant and pursues a rescuer (yes, that's right)

Paradoxical as it sounds, the rescuer most often receives what he deserves not from the tyrant, but from the victim (the second scenario). Moreover, for the formation of a triangle tyrant initially not needed. All you need is a victim and a rescuer.

Trace the conflict situations in your life - and it will become clear that many troubles are formed according to this principle.
')
Did you go for the employee in front of the director? Tomorrow a colleague will require you to do it again.
Borrowed money once? You must borrow a second time too!
Yesterday you did some of my work for me? Be kind to work for me today!

Of course, this is not always the case. But very often.

Before you "help" someone - think: is your help really necessary? And even in this case, be prepared for the fact that sooner or later you will become a victim.

There is only one remedy: do not enter into relations in the role of a lifeguard . Then you will not fall into a single conflict, which is formed according to this scheme (which is approximately 20% of all conflicts)

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Inspiration came after reading the post and the following dialogue with a stranger to me:

Alexander: Hi. My name is Sasha. I have questions about your article on your site. Have a couple of minutes?
Yang: Maine, I do not advise the maker-ups
Alexander: I'm not a coder. In general, I am a programmer and formally familiar with the layout. Therefore, I decided to turn to you as a pro.
Jan: I can't deal with anyone who has problems :) I would be happy to help, but I have a lot of work
Alexander: sorry. I relied on help, not on show-off. At least I never dismiss people who seek help. Okay, I will look for the jambs in your code myself. Have a good job

In general, I am a bastard. Because he refused a person to help! I have to sort out the problem of each visitor to my site, and not respond with “pontes” to the requests of the needy! Wrote an article - kindly explain how the proposed code works!