Apple introduced the new iPhone, which only the most loyal customers can see
Thousands of loyal Apple customers have already bought a virtually weightless iPhone 3GI
(almost free translation from The ONION )
San Francisco. In an effort to revolutionize the mobile industry, Apple launched its most powerful and fast iPhone, an innovative model that only the most loyal Apple customers can see.
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"Today, I am proud to present to those who really deserve, our most incredible iPhone," Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced, extending his seemingly empty left hand to the eagerly listening crowd. “This is not only our lightest and thinnest model; the main thing in it is that only a true follower of Apple can clearly see it. This is the most unusual device that has ever been developed in our laboratories. "
The crowded audience responded to Jobs's words with a deathly silence, which was replaced in a couple of minutes by a storm of applause. Hundreds of men and women suddenly jumped up from their seats and shouted: “I see him!”, “Look, here he is!” And “God, how beautiful he is!”.
From time to time it was possible to hear individual exclamations: “Yes, yes, I, of course, see him too.”
According to Apple, in the new iPhone 3GI serious innovations have been used both in hardware and in software: the speed of work has been significantly increased and the multi-touch interface has been improved, offering those who are cool enough unforgettable impressions. The widescreen screen, according to available information, also transmits a picture of exceptional quality, color and resolution, which more recently it was impossible to even imagine.
“The new iPhone 3GI is as light as air,” said Apple's senior vice president Philip Schiller, opening an empty box (most likely to get a mobile device). “Look how thin it is. It seems that he is not here at all. "
“Those who really understand what we do at Apple will surely enjoy the new product,” continued Schiller. "Unless, of course, they really love us."
Retailed at retail for $ 599, the new iPhone 3GI is offered only to those buyers who believe in Apple more than any other company in the world and those who have never dreamed of doing this before - running dozens of powerful applications at the same time. In addition, the new device offers fans Apple HD-camcorder, editing with one click in Final Cut Pro and cut and paste.
Like thousands of other buyers, Kelly Delaney, a resident of New York, pretended not to appear at work, instead taking a place in line at the central Apple Store of New York a few days before the start of official sales of the new 3GI.
“God, I can't believe how much faster I can go online with him,” said Delaney, leaving the store with a folded palm raised to her ear and writing with her wrist how wonderful the device is. “The sound is so clear, and the reception is so sure that it doesn’t matter where you are.”
“Wait a second,” Delini continued, suddenly starting to rock her arm up and down. "It seems the battery has gone into the phone."
According to Apple, the phone went on sale simultaneously in 22 countries and on the very first day a record 8 million units were sold.
“The choice of colors is amazing,” said Paul Conrad, a resident of Fairfield, Wyoming, who bought the devices immediately in black, white and silver. “It not only looks great, but it works flawlessly as long as you believe in it,” he continued.
“Unfortunately, the AppleCare insurance program does not cover the risks associated with the fall of your device, so I recommend buying one of the designer protective covers for the new iPhone 3GI,” added Konrad in conclusion.
While the new iPhone was enthusiastically accepted by most of the audience for its impressive technical characteristics, some Americans remain skeptical.
“Dad doesn’t talk to anyone,” said four-year-old Ella Conrad, pointing to her father Paul, who is looking at an invisible phone, playing with him and installing new programs from the moment of purchase on Monday. "Dad says he is waiting for the operator to respond."
(almost free translation from The ONION )
San Francisco. In an effort to revolutionize the mobile industry, Apple launched its most powerful and fast iPhone, an innovative model that only the most loyal Apple customers can see.
')
"Today, I am proud to present to those who really deserve, our most incredible iPhone," Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced, extending his seemingly empty left hand to the eagerly listening crowd. “This is not only our lightest and thinnest model; the main thing in it is that only a true follower of Apple can clearly see it. This is the most unusual device that has ever been developed in our laboratories. "
The crowded audience responded to Jobs's words with a deathly silence, which was replaced in a couple of minutes by a storm of applause. Hundreds of men and women suddenly jumped up from their seats and shouted: “I see him!”, “Look, here he is!” And “God, how beautiful he is!”.
From time to time it was possible to hear individual exclamations: “Yes, yes, I, of course, see him too.”
According to Apple, in the new iPhone 3GI serious innovations have been used both in hardware and in software: the speed of work has been significantly increased and the multi-touch interface has been improved, offering those who are cool enough unforgettable impressions. The widescreen screen, according to available information, also transmits a picture of exceptional quality, color and resolution, which more recently it was impossible to even imagine.
“The new iPhone 3GI is as light as air,” said Apple's senior vice president Philip Schiller, opening an empty box (most likely to get a mobile device). “Look how thin it is. It seems that he is not here at all. "
“Those who really understand what we do at Apple will surely enjoy the new product,” continued Schiller. "Unless, of course, they really love us."
Retailed at retail for $ 599, the new iPhone 3GI is offered only to those buyers who believe in Apple more than any other company in the world and those who have never dreamed of doing this before - running dozens of powerful applications at the same time. In addition, the new device offers fans Apple HD-camcorder, editing with one click in Final Cut Pro and cut and paste.
Like thousands of other buyers, Kelly Delaney, a resident of New York, pretended not to appear at work, instead taking a place in line at the central Apple Store of New York a few days before the start of official sales of the new 3GI.
“God, I can't believe how much faster I can go online with him,” said Delaney, leaving the store with a folded palm raised to her ear and writing with her wrist how wonderful the device is. “The sound is so clear, and the reception is so sure that it doesn’t matter where you are.”
“Wait a second,” Delini continued, suddenly starting to rock her arm up and down. "It seems the battery has gone into the phone."
According to Apple, the phone went on sale simultaneously in 22 countries and on the very first day a record 8 million units were sold.
“The choice of colors is amazing,” said Paul Conrad, a resident of Fairfield, Wyoming, who bought the devices immediately in black, white and silver. “It not only looks great, but it works flawlessly as long as you believe in it,” he continued.
“Unfortunately, the AppleCare insurance program does not cover the risks associated with the fall of your device, so I recommend buying one of the designer protective covers for the new iPhone 3GI,” added Konrad in conclusion.
While the new iPhone was enthusiastically accepted by most of the audience for its impressive technical characteristics, some Americans remain skeptical.
“Dad doesn’t talk to anyone,” said four-year-old Ella Conrad, pointing to her father Paul, who is looking at an invisible phone, playing with him and installing new programs from the moment of purchase on Monday. "Dad says he is waiting for the operator to respond."
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/65709/
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