"In the advertising of food can not use food", - the Federal Communications Commission

This is a translation of an article from The Onion magazine.

In short.
The Federal Communications Commission ( FCC ) has banned KFC companies ( Kentucky Fried Chicken , represented in Russia by Rostiks) to use the word “food” in their advertisements.

The picture says: "Classic (chicken) bucket - sit next to him with his whole family."

The Federal Communications Commission recognized the ad for KFC about their new dish, called the “Boneless Diversity Bucket” advertising, ordered them to pay a fine of $ 600,000 and also prohibited further display of all radio and video and print ads containing “deceitful and introducing misleading hints "that their chicken dishes are intended to be eaten.
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“KFC’s claim that their roasted dishes have 'the very taste of food that you adore' is a direct violation of federal laws ,” said FCC Chairman Michael Kopps. “Legally, the word 'is' can only be used with respect to substances fit for human consumption. Any suggestion that a customer may or should 'enjoy' their food does not comply with these rules and is a scam. "
“Any appeals of the company to the public with requests to eat their food will be immediately stopped by the law,” he added.

Working together with the Federal Trade Commission to protect consumers from the so-called "blatant lies about the edibility of dishes from the KFC menu", representatives of the FCC sorted out a list of permitted words and phrases for advertising on television and in print.
While “eating”, “experiencing pleasure” and “taste” remain outside the law, the commission allowed the use of the following phrases: “acquire”, “be near”, “look” and “hold”.
The Commission also established strict restrictions on the choice of actors who can manipulate objects fried in dough, so that, God forbid, do not confuse the audience so much that they plan to swallow something from KFC restaurants.
Following the law of false advertising (FTC Act of 1914), the fast-food chain is prohibited to shoot ads in the kitchen, in the dining room or in any other place that is somehow associated with food or eating it. It is also forbidden to show people chewing or stroking the stomach of people, or people leaving the bathroom with an expression of satisfaction on their face (this means that before that they did try some kind of food). Forks, spoons and plates are also prohibited.

“These commercials should never depict people who voluntarily bring KFC products close to their mouths ,” said Kopps, referring to the area described in the law within a radius of 8 inches from the mouth. "Also, advertisements cannot be shown manipulating a chicken in such a way that it can end up in the lower area of ​​an adult or animal face."

“We are fully prepared to cooperate with the federal government to ensure that our advertising campaigns fully comply with the official rules ,” said Mark Dan, a KFC representative. “But do not forget that we still offer a lot of great-looking, acquired gizmos - such as our new Super Crunchy Wings and Thighs - we invite everyone to come to us and buy them for any purpose that you think is suitable.”

KFC PRs are still negotiating with the authorities to find out if the term “consumables” (used to refer to goods that should be changed periodically, such as brake pads or bleach for the pool) is a suitable substitute for “food.”
And at this time, KFC has already begun work on a new advertising series for their new Honey Barbecue Wings Without Bones. In the early shots, we can see grainy black and white shots of stylish cars, dense forest, smiling people standing at a safe distance from the bucket with the words “KFC”, the chicken to be killed, and a gallon of barbecue sauce slowly sprinkling over the fire.