If programming languages were religions ...
I was surprised to find that on the Internet there was no translation into Russian of a rather amusing little article written by a certain Rodrigo Braz Monteiro, in which he compares programming languages and religions. Therefore I had to do the translation myself, which is below and attached.
The author of this article was inspired by the comparison of programming languages with cars (original), and this was inspired by the translation ...
C - Judaism . This language is old and has many restrictions, however, most in the world are familiar with its laws and respect them. The trick is that you can not retrain in sishnik - you have to be it from the very beginning, otherwise it will seem to you that all this is some kind of insanity. Also, if things are going badly, many people like to push all the responsibility just to C.
')
Java - Orthodoxy . Theoretically, Java is based on C, but lacks such a large number of laws and restrictions that it absolutely does not resemble the original. Instead, she has an impressive set of her harsh rules, which her followers are considered to be much better and fairer than C. They are not only sure that their language is the best in the world, but also ready to burn inquisition at the stake of all who disagree.
PHP - Cafeteria Christianity (so it is customary to designate those Christians or churches who follow only those dogmas that suit them themselves, and hammer on other prohibitions and ideas). PHP fights java for the web market, shares some common concepts with C and Java, but only those that are nice to the ehapists. This language may not be as harmonious as others, but it leaves more freedom for the developer, ostensibly while maintaining the integrity of the language. And yes, it finally forgot forever the concept of “goto hell".
C ++ is Islam . This language takes its foundation in C, but not only inherits its laws, but also adds a whole complex of its own. It is so multifaceted that it can be the basis of everything - from works of art to atrocities and violence. His followers are convinced that this is the only truly universal language and do not like very much when someone claims the opposite. And it’s better not to try to insult this language or its creator with them - they will kill you.
C # - Mormons . At first glance, it is the same as Java, but if you look closely, you can understand that it is managed by one corporation (which many followers of Java consider to be diabolical), and also that many theological concepts of these languages are different. It could be assumed that this language is very nice, if only followers of Java did not subject you to such obstruction for developing in C #.
Lisp - Zen Buddhism . There is no clear syntax here, there are no dogmas and idols. The whole universe is in your hands if you are enlightened enough to realize it. Some say that it is not a language at all, while others, on the contrary, consider it the only real language.
Haskell is Taoism . It is so different from other languages that many people cannot understand how something useful can be developed on it. His followers believe that this is the path to wisdom, but only this wisdom is beyond the comprehension of most mortals.
Erlang - Hinduism . Another strange language that looks completely useless, but unlike most modern languages, it is built around the concept of the existence of multiple deities.
Perl is Voodoo - an incomprehensible set of secret rituals that include animal sacrifices and the use of their blood, and can permanently disrupt your mental state. Often used when your boss requires you to complete an urgent task at 21:30 on Friday.
Lua - this would be Wiccanism (the neo-pagan Western European occult teaching, the foundation of which is the worship of the creative forces of Nature in the form of the Goddess and God). Pantheistic language that can easily be adapted to any locality and culture. The coding rules on it are very liberal and allow the use of techniques that in the case of ordinary languages would be called magic. This cult is associated with the worship of the moon.
Ruby - Neopaganism . A mixture of different language concepts and ideas, combined into one. His flock is growing rapidly, and even though many followers of Ruby are suspicious, they are overfulfilled only with good intentions for the most part, and are not dangerous for anyone.
Python would be Humanism . It is simple, devoid of many restrictions, and all that is required of you is to follow its general idea. Many of his followers proclaim that they got rid of the complexity and over-regulation of other languages and rediscovered the joy of programming. Some, however, call it all pseudocoding.
COBOL - this is Ancient Paganism - there were times when it was widespread and popular, but now, to the joy of all of us, it is almost dead. Although the majority are afraid of his frightening rituals, some still insist that he has a right to exist today.
APL is Scientology . Many people are its followers, but there is a suspicion that all this is a huge and carefully thought out joke that just got out of control.
LOLCODE - Pastafarianism (Teaching, according to which the world was created by a drunken flying spaghetti monster, and therefore it is so bad). Esoteric Internet-born language that no one takes seriously, despite all the efforts to spread it.
Visual Basic is Satanism . The only difference is that you do not really need to sell your soul in this case ...
A comparison to set the mood ...
The main translation was made here , but here it is a little proapgruigen
Upd: Further, at the request of our readers:
ASM - rather paganism , communication with spirits and nature, which for the uninitiated seems to be something incredible and supernatural. In the modern world, with widespread urbanization, less attention is paid to nature and communication with it. Everywhere technology, automation and more. Witches and witches left little.
JavaScript is charisma , always with songs and dances ...
TCL - sophistry . On it can speak, unexpectedly for themselves, followers of any other religions, regardless of color, country of residence and main religion. Having a cup of tea, being carried away by intelligent conversation, the TCL-boxer can fence a whole verbal tower with an ornate structure, graceful arches of windows and inserts of rubies, diamonds and mother-of-pearl shells of marine animals.
The author of this article was inspired by the comparison of programming languages with cars (original), and this was inspired by the translation ...
C - Judaism . This language is old and has many restrictions, however, most in the world are familiar with its laws and respect them. The trick is that you can not retrain in sishnik - you have to be it from the very beginning, otherwise it will seem to you that all this is some kind of insanity. Also, if things are going badly, many people like to push all the responsibility just to C.
')
Java - Orthodoxy . Theoretically, Java is based on C, but lacks such a large number of laws and restrictions that it absolutely does not resemble the original. Instead, she has an impressive set of her harsh rules, which her followers are considered to be much better and fairer than C. They are not only sure that their language is the best in the world, but also ready to burn inquisition at the stake of all who disagree.
PHP - Cafeteria Christianity (so it is customary to designate those Christians or churches who follow only those dogmas that suit them themselves, and hammer on other prohibitions and ideas). PHP fights java for the web market, shares some common concepts with C and Java, but only those that are nice to the ehapists. This language may not be as harmonious as others, but it leaves more freedom for the developer, ostensibly while maintaining the integrity of the language. And yes, it finally forgot forever the concept of “goto hell".
C ++ is Islam . This language takes its foundation in C, but not only inherits its laws, but also adds a whole complex of its own. It is so multifaceted that it can be the basis of everything - from works of art to atrocities and violence. His followers are convinced that this is the only truly universal language and do not like very much when someone claims the opposite. And it’s better not to try to insult this language or its creator with them - they will kill you.
C # - Mormons . At first glance, it is the same as Java, but if you look closely, you can understand that it is managed by one corporation (which many followers of Java consider to be diabolical), and also that many theological concepts of these languages are different. It could be assumed that this language is very nice, if only followers of Java did not subject you to such obstruction for developing in C #.
Lisp - Zen Buddhism . There is no clear syntax here, there are no dogmas and idols. The whole universe is in your hands if you are enlightened enough to realize it. Some say that it is not a language at all, while others, on the contrary, consider it the only real language.
Haskell is Taoism . It is so different from other languages that many people cannot understand how something useful can be developed on it. His followers believe that this is the path to wisdom, but only this wisdom is beyond the comprehension of most mortals.
Erlang - Hinduism . Another strange language that looks completely useless, but unlike most modern languages, it is built around the concept of the existence of multiple deities.
Perl is Voodoo - an incomprehensible set of secret rituals that include animal sacrifices and the use of their blood, and can permanently disrupt your mental state. Often used when your boss requires you to complete an urgent task at 21:30 on Friday.
Lua - this would be Wiccanism (the neo-pagan Western European occult teaching, the foundation of which is the worship of the creative forces of Nature in the form of the Goddess and God). Pantheistic language that can easily be adapted to any locality and culture. The coding rules on it are very liberal and allow the use of techniques that in the case of ordinary languages would be called magic. This cult is associated with the worship of the moon.
Ruby - Neopaganism . A mixture of different language concepts and ideas, combined into one. His flock is growing rapidly, and even though many followers of Ruby are suspicious, they are overfulfilled only with good intentions for the most part, and are not dangerous for anyone.
Python would be Humanism . It is simple, devoid of many restrictions, and all that is required of you is to follow its general idea. Many of his followers proclaim that they got rid of the complexity and over-regulation of other languages and rediscovered the joy of programming. Some, however, call it all pseudocoding.
COBOL - this is Ancient Paganism - there were times when it was widespread and popular, but now, to the joy of all of us, it is almost dead. Although the majority are afraid of his frightening rituals, some still insist that he has a right to exist today.
APL is Scientology . Many people are its followers, but there is a suspicion that all this is a huge and carefully thought out joke that just got out of control.
LOLCODE - Pastafarianism (Teaching, according to which the world was created by a drunken flying spaghetti monster, and therefore it is so bad). Esoteric Internet-born language that no one takes seriously, despite all the efforts to spread it.
Visual Basic is Satanism . The only difference is that you do not really need to sell your soul in this case ...
A comparison to set the mood ...
The main translation was made here , but here it is a little proapgruigen
Upd: Further, at the request of our readers:
ASM - rather paganism , communication with spirits and nature, which for the uninitiated seems to be something incredible and supernatural. In the modern world, with widespread urbanization, less attention is paid to nature and communication with it. Everywhere technology, automation and more. Witches and witches left little.
JavaScript is charisma , always with songs and dances ...
TCL - sophistry . On it can speak, unexpectedly for themselves, followers of any other religions, regardless of color, country of residence and main religion. Having a cup of tea, being carried away by intelligent conversation, the TCL-boxer can fence a whole verbal tower with an ornate structure, graceful arches of windows and inserts of rubies, diamonds and mother-of-pearl shells of marine animals.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/48234/
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