Google gulp
1. How does Google Gulp work?
2. Wait, you say that Auto-Drink changes the chemistry of my brain?
3. Isn't it dangerous?
4. What if I don't want to use Auto-Drink?
5. Shouldn't Auto-Drink be turned off by default?
6. Yes
7. Where can I get Google Gulp?
8. Is it not possible just to give Google Gulp to everyone?
9. I mean, isn't the invites system stupid?
10. Will Google release more food?
11. When will Google Gulp come out of beta?
1. How does Google Gulp work?
To fully understand the answer to this question, you must have a Ph.D. (from Stanford). In short, our brain processes data by sending electrical impulses, called neurotransmitters, between billions of neurons using axons stretched between synapses just like buses follow a route between stops or mp3 files illegally transmitted between adolescents. The molecular composition of which Google Gulp consists of is accelerating this process with various amazing manipulations and tricks at the neurochemical level, reducing the activity of the enzyme monamine oxidase. You think faster and feel better.
And that's not it! Using a patented real-time DNA scanner, Auto-Drink ™, Google Gulp can scan your gene profile, reconfigure its molecular composition on the fly and delicately change the complex interweaving of axons in the brain to speed up cognitive processes.
2. Wait, are you saying that Auto-Drink ™ changes the chemistry of my brain?
Well, yes, but for the better.
3. Isn't it dangerous?
None of our laboratory rats, which we drank with this drink for eight months, have not reclined yet, which is encouraging. In any case, the moment you open the Gulp cover, you transmit a wireless signal to Google’s servers, confirming the unconditional acceptance of the Google Gulp license agreement, which includes the possibility of, albeit weak, hidden genetic mutations resulting from the use of this product. True, we are confident enough that you will not die.
')
4. What if I don't want to use Auto-Drink?
No problem, just turn off Aut-Drink in your Google Gulp settings.
5. Shouldn't Auto-Drink ™ be turned off by default?
Do you think that we should turn off a very important piece only because of bad PR?
6. Yes.
Good.
7. Where can I get Google Gulp?
This beta limited edition product is available to anyone who brings a used Google Gulp bottle cap to a local distributor. If you don't have Gulp covers, ask one for a friend.
8. And if my friends do not have a Google Gulp cover for me? Is it not possible just to give Google Gulp to everyone?
We thought about it, but, you have to understand that there are a lot of things that you need to decide before distributing it.
9. Isn't the invite system not stupid?
Dude, you never seem to have heard of viral marketing.
10. Will Google release more food?
As a rule, Google does not comment on future products, but ... just say that the taste of a cool, refreshing drink will not be completely complete without, say, chips and syrup, right?
11. When will Google Gulp come out of beta?
My friend, if you put pressure on us, it will only hinder us. We will finish when we are ready. Also, what is the advantage if things come out of beta? It kills all the romance, the sense of challenge, opportunity, the right to research. Carpe diem , you know? Maybe we have already seen enough of all these companies, thoughtlessly jumping to version 1.0, considering that their product is perfect and all that - and the next thing they find out is the same release from some plagiarist from Redmond. The management gathers an emergency meeting and the CEO begins to frantically carry on the nonsense about the "new direction" and "return to the basics." No thanks. We value our freedom.
http://www.google.com/googlegulp/faq.html
2. Wait, you say that Auto-Drink changes the chemistry of my brain?
3. Isn't it dangerous?
4. What if I don't want to use Auto-Drink?
5. Shouldn't Auto-Drink be turned off by default?
6. Yes
7. Where can I get Google Gulp?
8. Is it not possible just to give Google Gulp to everyone?
9. I mean, isn't the invites system stupid?
10. Will Google release more food?
11. When will Google Gulp come out of beta?
1. How does Google Gulp work?
To fully understand the answer to this question, you must have a Ph.D. (from Stanford). In short, our brain processes data by sending electrical impulses, called neurotransmitters, between billions of neurons using axons stretched between synapses just like buses follow a route between stops or mp3 files illegally transmitted between adolescents. The molecular composition of which Google Gulp consists of is accelerating this process with various amazing manipulations and tricks at the neurochemical level, reducing the activity of the enzyme monamine oxidase. You think faster and feel better.
And that's not it! Using a patented real-time DNA scanner, Auto-Drink ™, Google Gulp can scan your gene profile, reconfigure its molecular composition on the fly and delicately change the complex interweaving of axons in the brain to speed up cognitive processes.
2. Wait, are you saying that Auto-Drink ™ changes the chemistry of my brain?
Well, yes, but for the better.
3. Isn't it dangerous?
None of our laboratory rats, which we drank with this drink for eight months, have not reclined yet, which is encouraging. In any case, the moment you open the Gulp cover, you transmit a wireless signal to Google’s servers, confirming the unconditional acceptance of the Google Gulp license agreement, which includes the possibility of, albeit weak, hidden genetic mutations resulting from the use of this product. True, we are confident enough that you will not die.
')
4. What if I don't want to use Auto-Drink?
No problem, just turn off Aut-Drink in your Google Gulp settings.
5. Shouldn't Auto-Drink ™ be turned off by default?
Do you think that we should turn off a very important piece only because of bad PR?
6. Yes.
Good.
7. Where can I get Google Gulp?
This beta limited edition product is available to anyone who brings a used Google Gulp bottle cap to a local distributor. If you don't have Gulp covers, ask one for a friend.
8. And if my friends do not have a Google Gulp cover for me? Is it not possible just to give Google Gulp to everyone?
We thought about it, but, you have to understand that there are a lot of things that you need to decide before distributing it.
9. Isn't the invite system not stupid?
Dude, you never seem to have heard of viral marketing.
10. Will Google release more food?
As a rule, Google does not comment on future products, but ... just say that the taste of a cool, refreshing drink will not be completely complete without, say, chips and syrup, right?
11. When will Google Gulp come out of beta?
My friend, if you put pressure on us, it will only hinder us. We will finish when we are ready. Also, what is the advantage if things come out of beta? It kills all the romance, the sense of challenge, opportunity, the right to research. Carpe diem , you know? Maybe we have already seen enough of all these companies, thoughtlessly jumping to version 1.0, considering that their product is perfect and all that - and the next thing they find out is the same release from some plagiarist from Redmond. The management gathers an emergency meeting and the CEO begins to frantically carry on the nonsense about the "new direction" and "return to the basics." No thanks. We value our freedom.
http://www.google.com/googlegulp/faq.html
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/47636/
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