Work in small, medium and large companies
The text was written by a committed freelancer (not by me; but I share many of the voiced positions, therefore, it is published without notes and comments), and contains a rather tangible negative in relation to office work. It should not be extrapolated to all IT companies.
Contains a lot of strong expressions.
Geographical landmark: CIS.
')
Amount of text: a lot.
The company's motto: “ A team of experienced painters will do all the work on installing plumbing and web design .” The site contains rotten articles on the topic “ So why do you need a website! "With a summary:" In general - contact the professionals . "
Everyone gets a little money. All friends. They eat everything by going to the store, food is supposed to be shared in any way. It is difficult to completely eat chocolate, if you brought it into the workroom. Sometimes one of us eats all sorts of things right on the street, returning to the office from the store. All are focused on getting money, as well as on discussing the “sore subject” of the level of the pederasty of the biggest boss, who, bitch, eats gingerbreads himself, leaving only a whip for us.
On the walls hang posters with a girl who kisses someone's ass, and the postscript “ Remember! Not the company pays you a salary. Its customers pay you! ". Therefore, only the general director loves clients here. There he sits next to.
The salary is not revised here until the boss is cornered with irrefutable evidence of the achievements of an employee who has already looked after another job and warns about it two days before leaving ...
Responsibilities are diverse. It has to stay up late, and this sitting on the income is not reflected at all. Perfectly . Married people from such a reality are very nervous.
Kettle in such an office, as a rule, someone brought. For water for the kettle you need to go to the toilet. Sugar and tea are first brought to beginners, then everything returns to “everyone has his own,” and “who touched my sugar again?”
Career - it is not. There will be a multi-line resume in which we will write down “experience with the client base”, but it will not indicate what exactly was done with this very base. Everyone knows that a career will begin only when you leave to work in another company. Therefore, it makes no sense to twitch.
But since each performs several work functions, the lack of a career is somehow not noticeable. On the contrary, it seems that you are crazy about banging up to what a professional professional in several areas at once.
Later it may haunt in a bad way, but we still need to live to “later”.
The basic process is probably there, but it is very dependent on the identity of each employee. The worker leaves, the process changes, sometimes radically.
Oh, this company needs a person with a deep knowledge of the Process. He is immediately appointed a big manager, and waiting for results. When understanding the problems of the company, the new manager understands that the Process is inappropriate here, because one programmer has just left, and the second one imposes, programs, and goes to stores for complexors, and also teaches advertising managers how to properly fill out contracts. And according to the Process, you also need to take a tester, a layout designer, and a designer — all separately ...
Artemy Lebedev is considered an asshole and an upstart, Bill Gates is hated, no one can clearly explain the difference between usability and usability, but they always recommend “ go read some articles on this topic for a start .”
Prices for services in the company are assigned by intuition, from the ceiling, according to rumors - no one undertakes to calculate the exact costs.
The company provides all services at once, even if none of its employees ever sculpted in flash. It is necessary - we will sculpt. We are professionals. Yes, Windows - Mazda, but all work only from under Windows.
Advertising managers work very hard. In the morning they ring up all the companies from the Varo directory: “ Hello, my name is Ivan, and I am the main advertising manager of our company. I looked in the directory information about your company, and saw that you do not have a website. Tell me, do you need a website? Not? (Cheers!) Well, goodbye! »The name of the company in the list is thickly crossed out and entered into the list of" How many companies I called today . " After hundreds of such calls, the manager is considered to be very professional, and when a potential client comes to the company on his own, the manager uses the following speech turns: “ I can give you a discount ... I cannot allow such an exchange ... Our company is a professional player in the market of continuous improvement of the quality provided by us services, therefore ... Oh, this is also my client called ... "This attitude is extremely deterrent to the client.
Another manager is very afraid to indicate any deadlines. He knows that there is no one to trust in this matter, and they will ask from him ...
Constant clashes between management and employees on the topics “ Where did the overspending of traffic come from? "And" Who called from hospital to mobile? ".
Monitors and computer cases are different for everyone, but on the whole, the car park requires a serious update. Mostly monitors are painted by designers who have had a stupid "inspiration attack". Operating systems are tuned so that only the permanent host of the computer can find or create something on it.
Licensed software is missing. Questions about this cause laughter and condescending attitude towards the questioner. The attitude changes only if the representative of the tax authorities or the special unit of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, which is engaged in the “preservation of copyright” ...
For a new, undisturbed chair, the office is struggling and a “live” line is created in order of precedence.
Work files are named as horrible. Sometimes the manager cannot show the client the finished file simply because the file is called “ Frames-huyamki for fagots from AO Nuvonah ”. By the way, the file storage system is different for everyone, and if the employee is not there, then this file on his computer still has to be searched for a long time ...
No kettle - there is a cooler. Sometimes the water ends abruptly, because no one is watching its supply. This means a new tank will be brought only tomorrow, if today the office manager does not forget to order it. Everyone has their own tea and sugar.
Some of us get a lot. Some - as always.
All focused on achieving results. Work is in full swing, and there can be no other way.
Everyone goes to dinner outside the office. It is noticed that in such companies people have lunch at the same time, but (very often) in different canteens-cafes. Others can not stand the cost of food in the city, and begin to drive home. The option “to take food with you” does not roll, if you have to sit in only one room - the smell of food annoys many people who have either not come out for lunch or have already returned. To go home is a financial reason: lunch in the city is fast and close, but it costs 30 lei; lunch at home costs 6 lei - back and forth on the shuttle bus, although there are always problems with being late.
In the office, everybody often chews something, but does not want to share. But if a package with something small, which is a lot, is open on the table, then everyone is invited to be treated. For example, drying.
Poor people get together, and sometimes talk about the fact that "the boss is a motherfucker, but there is a chance to get somewhere where they pay more ." The boss is not sitting still, constantly somewhere running around the city. According to rumors, he has another business, which is not surprising ...
Many people who do not have a handful, they just work. Hour is expensive, to sit this hour on blogs there is no reason. Inequality greatly irritates those and those. Those do not seek to work, because they receive little. These tend to work, but are a little strapped by the lagging of the poor. Arguments such as “ if you don’t work, it means you steal money from the company ” do not work, more “ steal from the one who doesn’t give you enough, not even stealing ”. Hence, the collision of the two systems, and always lose those who just want to work, because it gets a lot.
On the walls are homemade posters with the Google logo and two arrows that indicate the letters “O” from the logo. Signed: “ We're using Google in all holes .”
Artemy Lebedev is considered an asshole and an upstart, but respected for the speed of business, and intend to expose him to Google. Bill Gates is respected for the same reason, although he is also hated. Easily explain the term "usability".
Multi-recipients only annoy the poor. What remains is not a focus on work, but irritation on the good results of the multi-beneficiaries. And kirdyk comes.
Therefore, they get rid of those who have little to do so, and they leave with the confidence that "pidaras are all around." I am sure that money is very motivating. I emphasize - money, not the prospect of receiving it. Promise in future a salary of $ 3000, and until then you keep a person at $ 250-300 per month, and the person will treat work at the level of $ 250-300 per month. Bo perspective is smoke. Shroud Dreams.
Therefore, I don’t want to share food in the office. And to dine in the city on a par with the multi-beneficiaries - unreal. An additional source of irritation.
The salary is revised monthly towards fines, to a greater extent. Fines are for any wrongdoing. That is very annoying to those who have little, and does not motivate them to work at all.
Salary increase is possible, but the guidelines are vague. Like half a year worked ... And nothing has improved. So you need to change the company ...
Career is rapid, but for the most part resembles the career of the gear, which is mounted in a certain place on the drive shaft. That is, if you came as an average programmer, then you will leave with the same cattle-coder, but already picked up by several methods. If you came as a major manager, then you will leave them, then you will simply ask for more money for what is not clear. If you are a messenger, then you will never become an accountant here - there are already accountants.
Prices for services are unknown, because everyone is working on more or less large projects - either completely, or on some part. It is only known that the final product costs a lot of money ...
Most people use torrents, dragging flash files to their home files. If someone gets caught in this, punishment will follow. The punishment will be a person who has a regular movie from the same torrents being downloaded on his computer at this time.
The system of bangs leads to the fact that one person can download a single movie at once.
Licensed software is present on several machines. For example, on a laptop chief (bought with software, and does not even know about it). Or some programs that the main programmer has installed “for himself”.
Monitors and computers are all the same. The system is not tuned, but “fitted by itself” for almost everyone. Especially among testers, which is very annoying to developers.
There are very strict rules for naming working files and folders, as well as their location.
There is no kettle - there is a cooler with a constant supply of water. Sugar with tea and coffee just filled up - at the expense of the company. There are a lot of people here, and that’s all, eat up, they go out to eat at the canteen at the expense of the company. They get a lot here, and even dine for free ...
In a large company in the office, you can eat at your desk, but only some products that are neutral to others - yogurt, cookies, juices, and coffee. It is noteworthy - they eat everything. After returning from the dining room with the crowd, everyone has something neutral on the table - yogurt, cookies, juices, coffee ...
Nobody shares. There is a postulate that you get enough money to buy yogurt, cookies, juices. If you don’t have it on the table, then you just don’t want yogurt, cookies, juices, chocolate, so you didn’t buy it.
Beginners get together, discuss rumors about the extent to which the local chief pidaras, and whether there will be "increased". Then newcomers scatter in different projects, kuchkovanie decomposes.
Beginners share each other food, bearing in mind the relationship system in a small company. In a month, they will no longer ask stupid questions for experienced workers, will respect the laws and traditions of the workers, and will eat their own yoghurts separately.
No one knows how much his colleague gets, although he realizes.
The picture is not infrequent: two are sitting next to each other, and they are working on one project. The first receives $ 2,400, the second - $ 350. The level of work and its complexity are often the same, but the first is already the third year, and the second is the third month, and tears the tonsils to gain experience and get like the first (although in the soul of the second one does not believe in such amounts). The tandem works harmoniously, both are focused on getting results (otherwise, darling-timlid turns into a terrible pidaras who painfully bites and barks - he himself was bitten by his timlid, and therefore).
But at the same time, for $ 2,400, the dude feels that any fool can do his job ...
Extracts from the company's safety code hang on the walls: this is not strictly prohibited, this leads to dismissal of violation of such and such a clause ...
Most mobile phones are very sophisticated, almost all muffled. Sometimes someone forgets to switch the phone to quiet mode, and in the buzz of voices and shouting out of place inappropriate music, from which everyone starts to giggle.
Career is built steadily and very predictably. Only it is necessary to think in time intervals of the type "year, three years, five years." sharp jumps are not welcome. Assignments are issued gradually, the results are constantly checked. The end customer is unknown to you, you only communicate with your colleagues and team leaders.
Salary is growing rapidly compared to previous companies. There is medical insurance. There is confidence that it is already possible to rent an apartment more expensive - the money will be. This confidence is perishing for many.
Recycling is paid. Most constantly strive to recycle, which is extremely discouraged by the timlides (they are given a task that needs to be completed in one working day interval; work, damn it, do not have time to ").
There is a very stable and messy working process. There is a cult of this process. It can not be otherwise.
There are a lot of corporate laws, because there are a lot of people, you will not follow all of them, and there are a lot of opinions. Therefore, there are strict laws that are not respected, but are used as a whip, if someone deserves this whip.
CEO see only on major holidays, corporate parties. Or by chance, in the hallway.
Artemy Lebedev ... who is he? A designer ... He does not work for us?
All working terms, including "usability" can be found in the guides on the internal site. Do not fool, go to work. For you, everything is thought out and documented.
Licensed software is mandatory. Any "left" software is subject to a mandatory approval procedure through the main admin. It is necessary to justify why you need Total Commander, not FAR, to perform work duties, and then wait for the decisions of the admins.
For workstations, the relationship is special. USB flash drive - unreal. Open the case - unreal. Move the body to another table without notifying the sysadmin - science fiction.
Each employee works strictly from under his network account. Rumor has it that screenshots are constantly being taken from screens, but there is no clear confirmation of this. But rumors go.
Blogs at work? No time. Yes and no access to them ...
Contains a lot of strong expressions.
Geographical landmark: CIS.
')
Amount of text: a lot.
Mostly (5-10 people) company
The company's motto: “ A team of experienced painters will do all the work on installing plumbing and web design .” The site contains rotten articles on the topic “ So why do you need a website! "With a summary:" In general - contact the professionals . "
Everyone gets a little money. All friends. They eat everything by going to the store, food is supposed to be shared in any way. It is difficult to completely eat chocolate, if you brought it into the workroom. Sometimes one of us eats all sorts of things right on the street, returning to the office from the store. All are focused on getting money, as well as on discussing the “sore subject” of the level of the pederasty of the biggest boss, who, bitch, eats gingerbreads himself, leaving only a whip for us.
On the walls hang posters with a girl who kisses someone's ass, and the postscript “ Remember! Not the company pays you a salary. Its customers pay you! ". Therefore, only the general director loves clients here. There he sits next to.
The salary is not revised here until the boss is cornered with irrefutable evidence of the achievements of an employee who has already looked after another job and warns about it two days before leaving ...
Responsibilities are diverse. It has to stay up late, and this sitting on the income is not reflected at all. Perfectly . Married people from such a reality are very nervous.
Kettle in such an office, as a rule, someone brought. For water for the kettle you need to go to the toilet. Sugar and tea are first brought to beginners, then everything returns to “everyone has his own,” and “who touched my sugar again?”
Career - it is not. There will be a multi-line resume in which we will write down “experience with the client base”, but it will not indicate what exactly was done with this very base. Everyone knows that a career will begin only when you leave to work in another company. Therefore, it makes no sense to twitch.
But since each performs several work functions, the lack of a career is somehow not noticeable. On the contrary, it seems that you are crazy about banging up to what a professional professional in several areas at once.
Later it may haunt in a bad way, but we still need to live to “later”.
The basic process is probably there, but it is very dependent on the identity of each employee. The worker leaves, the process changes, sometimes radically.
Oh, this company needs a person with a deep knowledge of the Process. He is immediately appointed a big manager, and waiting for results. When understanding the problems of the company, the new manager understands that the Process is inappropriate here, because one programmer has just left, and the second one imposes, programs, and goes to stores for complexors, and also teaches advertising managers how to properly fill out contracts. And according to the Process, you also need to take a tester, a layout designer, and a designer — all separately ...
Artemy Lebedev is considered an asshole and an upstart, Bill Gates is hated, no one can clearly explain the difference between usability and usability, but they always recommend “ go read some articles on this topic for a start .”
Prices for services in the company are assigned by intuition, from the ceiling, according to rumors - no one undertakes to calculate the exact costs.
The company provides all services at once, even if none of its employees ever sculpted in flash. It is necessary - we will sculpt. We are professionals. Yes, Windows - Mazda, but all work only from under Windows.
Advertising managers work very hard. In the morning they ring up all the companies from the Varo directory: “ Hello, my name is Ivan, and I am the main advertising manager of our company. I looked in the directory information about your company, and saw that you do not have a website. Tell me, do you need a website? Not? (Cheers!) Well, goodbye! »The name of the company in the list is thickly crossed out and entered into the list of" How many companies I called today . " After hundreds of such calls, the manager is considered to be very professional, and when a potential client comes to the company on his own, the manager uses the following speech turns: “ I can give you a discount ... I cannot allow such an exchange ... Our company is a professional player in the market of continuous improvement of the quality provided by us services, therefore ... Oh, this is also my client called ... "This attitude is extremely deterrent to the client.
Another manager is very afraid to indicate any deadlines. He knows that there is no one to trust in this matter, and they will ask from him ...
Constant clashes between management and employees on the topics “ Where did the overspending of traffic come from? "And" Who called from hospital to mobile? ".
Monitors and computer cases are different for everyone, but on the whole, the car park requires a serious update. Mostly monitors are painted by designers who have had a stupid "inspiration attack". Operating systems are tuned so that only the permanent host of the computer can find or create something on it.
Licensed software is missing. Questions about this cause laughter and condescending attitude towards the questioner. The attitude changes only if the representative of the tax authorities or the special unit of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, which is engaged in the “preservation of copyright” ...
For a new, undisturbed chair, the office is struggling and a “live” line is created in order of precedence.
Work files are named as horrible. Sometimes the manager cannot show the client the finished file simply because the file is called “ Frames-huyamki for fagots from AO Nuvonah ”. By the way, the file storage system is different for everyone, and if the employee is not there, then this file on his computer still has to be searched for a long time ...
Medium company
No kettle - there is a cooler. Sometimes the water ends abruptly, because no one is watching its supply. This means a new tank will be brought only tomorrow, if today the office manager does not forget to order it. Everyone has their own tea and sugar.
Some of us get a lot. Some - as always.
All focused on achieving results. Work is in full swing, and there can be no other way.
Everyone goes to dinner outside the office. It is noticed that in such companies people have lunch at the same time, but (very often) in different canteens-cafes. Others can not stand the cost of food in the city, and begin to drive home. The option “to take food with you” does not roll, if you have to sit in only one room - the smell of food annoys many people who have either not come out for lunch or have already returned. To go home is a financial reason: lunch in the city is fast and close, but it costs 30 lei; lunch at home costs 6 lei - back and forth on the shuttle bus, although there are always problems with being late.
In the office, everybody often chews something, but does not want to share. But if a package with something small, which is a lot, is open on the table, then everyone is invited to be treated. For example, drying.
Poor people get together, and sometimes talk about the fact that "the boss is a motherfucker, but there is a chance to get somewhere where they pay more ." The boss is not sitting still, constantly somewhere running around the city. According to rumors, he has another business, which is not surprising ...
Many people who do not have a handful, they just work. Hour is expensive, to sit this hour on blogs there is no reason. Inequality greatly irritates those and those. Those do not seek to work, because they receive little. These tend to work, but are a little strapped by the lagging of the poor. Arguments such as “ if you don’t work, it means you steal money from the company ” do not work, more “ steal from the one who doesn’t give you enough, not even stealing ”. Hence, the collision of the two systems, and always lose those who just want to work, because it gets a lot.
On the walls are homemade posters with the Google logo and two arrows that indicate the letters “O” from the logo. Signed: “ We're using Google in all holes .”
Artemy Lebedev is considered an asshole and an upstart, but respected for the speed of business, and intend to expose him to Google. Bill Gates is respected for the same reason, although he is also hated. Easily explain the term "usability".
Multi-recipients only annoy the poor. What remains is not a focus on work, but irritation on the good results of the multi-beneficiaries. And kirdyk comes.
Therefore, they get rid of those who have little to do so, and they leave with the confidence that "pidaras are all around." I am sure that money is very motivating. I emphasize - money, not the prospect of receiving it. Promise in future a salary of $ 3000, and until then you keep a person at $ 250-300 per month, and the person will treat work at the level of $ 250-300 per month. Bo perspective is smoke. Shroud Dreams.
Therefore, I don’t want to share food in the office. And to dine in the city on a par with the multi-beneficiaries - unreal. An additional source of irritation.
The salary is revised monthly towards fines, to a greater extent. Fines are for any wrongdoing. That is very annoying to those who have little, and does not motivate them to work at all.
Salary increase is possible, but the guidelines are vague. Like half a year worked ... And nothing has improved. So you need to change the company ...
Career is rapid, but for the most part resembles the career of the gear, which is mounted in a certain place on the drive shaft. That is, if you came as an average programmer, then you will leave with the same cattle-coder, but already picked up by several methods. If you came as a major manager, then you will leave them, then you will simply ask for more money for what is not clear. If you are a messenger, then you will never become an accountant here - there are already accountants.
Prices for services are unknown, because everyone is working on more or less large projects - either completely, or on some part. It is only known that the final product costs a lot of money ...
Most people use torrents, dragging flash files to their home files. If someone gets caught in this, punishment will follow. The punishment will be a person who has a regular movie from the same torrents being downloaded on his computer at this time.
The system of bangs leads to the fact that one person can download a single movie at once.
Licensed software is present on several machines. For example, on a laptop chief (bought with software, and does not even know about it). Or some programs that the main programmer has installed “for himself”.
Monitors and computers are all the same. The system is not tuned, but “fitted by itself” for almost everyone. Especially among testers, which is very annoying to developers.
There are very strict rules for naming working files and folders, as well as their location.
Big company
There is no kettle - there is a cooler with a constant supply of water. Sugar with tea and coffee just filled up - at the expense of the company. There are a lot of people here, and that’s all, eat up, they go out to eat at the canteen at the expense of the company. They get a lot here, and even dine for free ...
In a large company in the office, you can eat at your desk, but only some products that are neutral to others - yogurt, cookies, juices, and coffee. It is noteworthy - they eat everything. After returning from the dining room with the crowd, everyone has something neutral on the table - yogurt, cookies, juices, coffee ...
Nobody shares. There is a postulate that you get enough money to buy yogurt, cookies, juices. If you don’t have it on the table, then you just don’t want yogurt, cookies, juices, chocolate, so you didn’t buy it.
Beginners get together, discuss rumors about the extent to which the local chief pidaras, and whether there will be "increased". Then newcomers scatter in different projects, kuchkovanie decomposes.
Beginners share each other food, bearing in mind the relationship system in a small company. In a month, they will no longer ask stupid questions for experienced workers, will respect the laws and traditions of the workers, and will eat their own yoghurts separately.
No one knows how much his colleague gets, although he realizes.
The picture is not infrequent: two are sitting next to each other, and they are working on one project. The first receives $ 2,400, the second - $ 350. The level of work and its complexity are often the same, but the first is already the third year, and the second is the third month, and tears the tonsils to gain experience and get like the first (although in the soul of the second one does not believe in such amounts). The tandem works harmoniously, both are focused on getting results (otherwise, darling-timlid turns into a terrible pidaras who painfully bites and barks - he himself was bitten by his timlid, and therefore).
But at the same time, for $ 2,400, the dude feels that any fool can do his job ...
Extracts from the company's safety code hang on the walls: this is not strictly prohibited, this leads to dismissal of violation of such and such a clause ...
Most mobile phones are very sophisticated, almost all muffled. Sometimes someone forgets to switch the phone to quiet mode, and in the buzz of voices and shouting out of place inappropriate music, from which everyone starts to giggle.
Career is built steadily and very predictably. Only it is necessary to think in time intervals of the type "year, three years, five years." sharp jumps are not welcome. Assignments are issued gradually, the results are constantly checked. The end customer is unknown to you, you only communicate with your colleagues and team leaders.
Salary is growing rapidly compared to previous companies. There is medical insurance. There is confidence that it is already possible to rent an apartment more expensive - the money will be. This confidence is perishing for many.
Recycling is paid. Most constantly strive to recycle, which is extremely discouraged by the timlides (they are given a task that needs to be completed in one working day interval; work, damn it, do not have time to ").
There is a very stable and messy working process. There is a cult of this process. It can not be otherwise.
There are a lot of corporate laws, because there are a lot of people, you will not follow all of them, and there are a lot of opinions. Therefore, there are strict laws that are not respected, but are used as a whip, if someone deserves this whip.
CEO see only on major holidays, corporate parties. Or by chance, in the hallway.
Artemy Lebedev ... who is he? A designer ... He does not work for us?
All working terms, including "usability" can be found in the guides on the internal site. Do not fool, go to work. For you, everything is thought out and documented.
Licensed software is mandatory. Any "left" software is subject to a mandatory approval procedure through the main admin. It is necessary to justify why you need Total Commander, not FAR, to perform work duties, and then wait for the decisions of the admins.
For workstations, the relationship is special. USB flash drive - unreal. Open the case - unreal. Move the body to another table without notifying the sysadmin - science fiction.
Each employee works strictly from under his network account. Rumor has it that screenshots are constantly being taken from screens, but there is no clear confirmation of this. But rumors go.
Blogs at work? No time. Yes and no access to them ...
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/46569/
All Articles