Corporate workshop

Two months of waiting. By popular demand. From the heart. In honor of the holiday. In the best traditions.

- So ... Let's do it again, what's the point?

Sergey slowly, with pleasure, dragged on cigarette smoke and with a mischievous smile looked at Galina.
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- Oh, sorry, we can't take you with us - they already remembered that you were a quality director. The experiment will fail.

- Yes, what kind of experiment?

- I want to show how the technological discipline is actually carried out. And what is the quality of parts in intermediate operations.

- And this ... your friend why?

- Tolyan something? By the way, Tolyan, thanks again for coming so quickly. Problems at work will not?

- Not. - growled the guy in glasses and with bluish stubble on his face. - I'm a freelancer, I have no job. Unlike you.

- Let me introduce, Galina. This is Tolyan. We studied together and practiced at the factory. Engaged, as times, product quality. But I - so on the tops. And Tolyan fumbles.

- Nice to meet you. - Galina nodded. - What's next, Sergey?

- Right now we finish and go to the shop. And you ... I do not know ... The main thing is not to loom here. Sit somewhere in the corner. Or go to the office. Otherwise, they will understand that something is happening here.

- And your presence will not understand that something is happening?

- Not. We are like students. They came to measure the details, to collect data for the diploma. These here constantly run hither, people do not get used.

- Not afraid? - Galina seriously asked.

- Whom? - Sergey choked. - Or what?

- Well I do not know.

“I don't know either.” It is clear that it is not so scary when they know your position. See epaulets - and bypass. But I think everything will be fine. We are with Tolyan grated peppers.

- Well, as you say ... - Galina shrugged her shoulders. “Okay, then I’ll sit in the plant management in the meeting room.” Call me if you need me.

- Good. - Sergey nodded, put out a cigarette and resolutely headed towards the shop.

- Well, what about the good old days? - smiled Tolyan, opening a heavy shop door.

“Just not like that time ...” Sergei smiled sadly in reply.

And they moved through the shop. Sergei chose the object for research in advance, but because of the lack of knowledge of the location of the machines, I had to wander around a bit. Nobody paid attention to them, did not offer any help - you never know what kind of assholes wander around the workshop.

Finally, the desired site was found. It consisted of five grinding machines of the same type, rather old, made in the times of the USSR. The site was rather closed, the machines stood in a circle, and the appearance of the "students" did not go unnoticed - the workers began to glance sideways at the guests.

Sergey, without losing time, immediately went to the container with the details processed on one of the machines. Got one, measured. Then the second, third, fourth ...

- Let's get a hundred pieces. - said Tolyan. - Better in a row, straight from the machine.

- What for in a row?

- Whether it is not enough, what trend we can catch. The machine is grinding, the wheel should quickly pour. If the dude does not adjust in time, there will be a clear upward trend.

- Damn, Tolyan. - Sergey pictured shook the hand of a friend. - How do you remember all this crap? Still, I suppose you would call all five criteria of stability according to Schuhart without a hesitation?

- Actually, there are seven of them. - like a real botan, Tolyan adjusted his glasses with his index finger. - And you as a ignoramus, remained.

- Okay ... - Sergey waved his hand. - Let's do the sampling.

We went to the nearest machine. Sergey lowered a little, deciding whether to ask the worker to return the processed parts, or to catch them from the container. Decided to contact the worker.

- Dear! - Sergey approached the peasant closely. - We have this here ... Can you give me the details after processing? We will measure them.

- And who are you? - the worker asked gloomily.

- We are students, in practice. Your technologist ordered to measure the details.

- Fuck?

- And I know? Probably reluctant to mess with us, so he sent. We are with sharagi.

“Chot hurts you old for sharaga ...” the worker frowned.

- Yes, we thump a lot, and that is how we got it. So, give details?

- Okay. - the worker nodded after a few seconds of thought.

Then it went more fun. Sergey took the part, measured it with a lever clip, said the size to Tolyan, he wrote down and folded the part into a box. The first parts were defective. After each measurement, Sergey and Tolyan looked at each other with a smile, like a shy couple on the first date, but they did not dare to speak.

“This is ...” Sergey finally asked. - And you have the details, it seems, outside of tolerance.

- What? - the worker turned to Sergei and looked menacingly at him. - What else, to hell, tolerance?

- Well, here it is. - Sergey took out a folded piece of paper from his pocket, unfolded it and poked his finger at the drawing. - See what size should be, and what is the tolerance here.

- You'll go to my field right now. - the worker did not pay any attention to the piece of paper. - Vali fuck out of here!

“Come on, why are you ...” Sergey backed away, stumbled over Tolyan’s leg and nearly fell. - Do not want what you want ... Tolyan, let's go to another machine.

The worker took a couple more steps to meet him, but after making sure that the students had retired, he turned proudly and continued to work. Sergey looked around, choosing the next victim, and stopped on a lean peasant of a rather intelligent look.

- Dear! - Sergey turned to another worker. - Can we measure your details?

- Yes of course. - he smiled politely. - you for research work? Or do you write a diploma?

- Diploma, yeah. - Sergey nodded. - You are this, give us the processed parts, we will measure them immediately.

- Good. - nodded a worker and returned to the machine.

At this time, all the details, to a single, were in the field of admission. Sergey did not notice any trends or one-time deviations. When I got a hundred parts, I even managed to get bored.

- Prompt, and you why the details without marriage? - Sergey asked the worker.

- In terms of? - he smiled. - Should be a marriage, or what?

- Well ... We are now measured by your colleagues, so everyone there was one outside the tolerance.

- I do not know. - shrugged work. - I am responsible for my work, let the bosses deal with a stranger. Can I help you with something else?

- No thanks!

Sergey and Tolyan came to the center of the site and began to look around, deciding what to do next.

- It would be necessary to understand. - began Tolyan. - Well, about that out, borzoi. He is clearly breaking technology.

“If he knows anything at all.”

- If at all such a word knows. - supported Tolyan. - Come on, I do not know ... We will observe that ...

- Come on. So, what's in the piece of paper ...

Sergey again took out a piece of paper, looked at it from both sides, put it back in his pocket.

- So, here the operations are not painted. It usually indicates the frequency with which measurements should be taken and the grinding wheel to be corrected.

- He does not take measurements at all. - answered Tolyan. - He seems to have no measuring instrument.

- How not? - Sergey smiled. - Eyes, they are enough. Well, some dudes ...

- Ok, this is the lyrics. - seriously said Tolyan. - I have only one day for you, let's do something. Well, let's go to the technologist?

- No, reluctance. And he, well, it will be ... sabotage. He will say that it is necessary to do a request somewhere, to the archive there, or what ... Let's get out the polite question?

- Come on. - Tolyan nodded and moved towards the worker.

- Sorry, can I distract you again? - Sergey addressed.

- Yes, what? - in the voice of the worker was displeased.

- Ah ... You see, it seems that you are doing the best parts. I assume that you follow the requirements of technology. We have a problem here - we didn’t take these requirements with us, and we can’t check how other workers fulfill them. Can you help us?

- To help prove that my colleagues do not work well? - smiled worker.

- Uh ... No, of course. Simply…

- Yes, I understood. Let's do this. - the worker carefully looked around, Sergey instinctively repeated the same thing and noticed the unkind looks of those colleagues. - You go to smoke, and in five minutes I will come there too. Good for you?

- Wow, straight last supper. - a strange light caught fire in the eyes of Sergey. - Of course, come on!

- Well, Tolyan, let's go smoke? - Sergey said loudly. - Anyway, damn it is not clear here.

Tolyan silently nodded, put the pieces of paper with the size of the records on a large container with the details, and the friends went to the exit of the workshop, the opposite of the one through which they entered. There was a dead end behind the shop gates - about ten meters away there was already a fence, the territory was littered with rusty metal structures and dilapidated concrete blocks. To the right of the door was a smoking room - a few wooden benches, traditional black from oiled workwear, a pair of urns and a small shed, apparently made by the workers themselves.

Sergey, having nothing to do, sat down and lit a cigarette. On the next bench were two workers. Before the arrival of the “students”, they were arguing about something lively, then they were silent, but after a couple of minutes, making sure of the harmlessness of the guests, they continued. It seems, something about chainsaws "Ural" and "Friendship".

Five minutes later, when the long-awaited worker arrived, the chainsaw lovers had already left, and one could safely talk.

- I guys will say that. - without a pause began working. - Our site, frankly, a complete ass. You asked about the technology - so, God forbid, if the technologist remembers. Not to mention the Quality Control Department, since we are talking about measurements and editing circles. The item has been produced for a very long time - even our plant was not, when everything was approved, at a large automobile plant. And ours just bought the machines there and do the same.

- So the problem is in the old machines? - asked Tolyan.

“Well ... Formally, yes, they are old.” On the other hand, because of their antiquity, they are very simple in their design. Well, you saw it yourself. Therefore, the case, rather, is how to work with the machine than in the machine itself.

- Well, how do you do without marriage? - Sergey asked.

- Just barely, to be honest. - the worker smiled sadly. - At us measurements by calibers become, know, what is it?

Tolyan and Sergey nodded.

- Here you go. All the information that gives the caliber - fit the part in the tolerance, or not. That is, if you get a circle that pours faster than usual, then I will find out that the size has swum away only by producing a defective part. The blessing that floats away in plus, and I after editing of a circle I can process this detail once again. Well, something like this. I measure more often, as soon as the size is gone - I stop, start editing, rework.

- Measuring every detail? - narrowed Tolyan. - That is, not by technology? There probably every ten necessary.

- Fifteen, if memory serves. - corrected the worker. - But the circles are pouring faster, like sand. Therefore, I have my own technology. Although, it is rather ... For the conscience, or something ... Or cover your ass - well, you never know, suddenly, like you will come with a check. I heard that the new director of quality is a tough aunt, and he is going to put things in order. And our production manager disappeared somewhere, the second day is gone.

- And how do your colleagues treat your ... Approach to business? - Sergey asked.

- Well, how ... laugh. After all, they know that all is damn good. We are doing an intermediate operation, then another otvetku wrapped. And when it does not fit - they will press harder, and it turns out. Well, or a file. The return is not incurred - all of their own. And what will the buyers have - who when it was? Another bolt in some bucket.

- Have you tried to show your work, the results, to anyone else?

- I tried, as not ... I tried the guys - they laughed. We were not really friendly anyway, but now in general ... I tried the master - by the way, he supported, he went with me to the technologists and designers. They didn’t let me into the office, he came in alone, after about five minutes darker clouds came out, and he was offended. I understand, put it. Well, for the initiative, then. And the more I, like, and did not go to anyone ... I do not remember, to be honest.

- So, what to do ... - Sergey thought out loud.

- I still need? - asked the worker - And then I have two hundred details left up to the norm, and I'll run home. Summer garden.

- Yes, of course, thank you very much! - Sergey with respect and joy shook the working hand. - What is your name?

- Do not let us without it. - smiled worker. - My business is small. Want to find me - you know where I stand.

- Well, what, Tolyan? - Sergey asked when the worker went to the workshop. - Solid control, it turns out? Violation of principles and standards?

- Not. Standards generally do not care. The main thing is the Deming cycle. If an action is found that brings quality to the proper value, and is affordable, then it should be part of the process. It would be necessary to check the stability.

- Yes, it is necessary. - Sergey rose from the bench and resolutely walked to the gate. - Something tells me that stability will be very good. And his manual intervention in the process is more like the usual, rather than the special reasons for the variations.

Having reached the site, the guys were surprised a lot - the things left on the container were gone. Selected parts, measurement results, pen. There was only a lever bracket - apparently afraid to take, quite an expensive thing.

Sergey looked around, but did not notice anything special. All workers did not react to the presence of outsiders, just continued to do their work. Tolyan started walking around the container, looking into secluded corners, but Sergey stopped him - there is nothing to disgrace.

- Tolyan, come on like that. - Sergey said loudly. - Now let's go, take a new piece of paper, and then our someone stole - apparently, their toilet paper is not. And the hands of assholes grow, once he took and hundreds of parts - he can not do. Well at least did not take the bracket - apparently, the gyrus could not understand that the bracket can be pushed behind the tweet. Well for zadrot something that ...

Then Sergey interrupted his speech, because one of the workers moved with a quick step to him - a young guy, almost bald, with a face tanned to gray, and with an obvious gopnik print of a physiognomy.

- Listen to me! - He pointed to Sergey. - Che, measured going?

- Yeah. - Sergey nodded.

- Che, maybe you measure me?

- I measure, do not worry. Go, work, what do you say, ghoul?

- So what, come on right now. Measure

- For a piece of paper it is necessary to go, there is nowhere to write.

- Do not, so remember. Measure - and Gopnik made a strange gesture with a pelvis forward, as if he suggested to Sergey to enter into an intimate relationship.

- Uh ... You are ... What do you propose to measure?

- Well, guess. - the guy repeated his gesture.

- sure? - Sergey began to speak a little louder for everyone to hear.

- A che me. - continued Gopnik. - Come on, not ssy.

“Do you know what a lever hook is?” - Sergey could no longer keep a smile.

- Well, she lies there. - on the face of the guy flashed a shadow of anxiety. - What is there to know something. Type shangel, only wiser.

- Do you know what range of measurements this particular bracket?

- What?

- That, deer. One and a half centimeters moron. Come on, take off your stinky pants, see what you wanted to show there. I am wondering - what have you got there, that the size will be half an centimeter? Insects, what, what ...

Gopnik was a little confused and took a step back. He began looking around at his colleagues, and saw smiles on their faces — even those who had sent “students” to the meadows. His face quickly began to blush, his eyes were bloodshot. Sergey, just in case, took a step to the left so that there were no dangerous details behind his back.

- Oh, you sssuka ... - Gopnik breathed through his teeth and rushed at Sergei.

He moved very quickly - apparently, the experience of the first strike affected. Sergey managed to bend a little and raise his hand, and the blow fell on the forearm. The second - in the stomach, but also not in the goal, because the breath is not caught. Sergey was not a martial arts master, so he didn’t come up with anything better than to take the opponent in the clinch.

Then Tolyan arrived in time, grabbed the bully by the arms, and they stood there for a few seconds. Sergey managed to notice that of all the workers only their new friend took a couple of steps towards the fight, but apparently he did not dare to intervene.

- Well, what, cool? - Sergey asked quietly, looking into the close red face of the Gopnik. - Let go? Crab shake?

- Shake. - unexpectedly easily agreed Gopnik.

First Tolyan let go of the guy's hands, then Sergey, slowly, opened his clinch. Gopnik walked a couple of steps, stretched his palms, crunched his neck and extended his hand to Sergey.

Sergey, having a sigh of relief to himself, extended his hand in response. For a moment he stopped looking at the gopnik himself, concentrating on his hand and ...

Got a good hook to the head. Immediately swam, began to settle, but Tolyan managed to catch him. Gopnik, without hesitation, gave deru.

- Cool. - smile Sergey, getting up. - I guess I'll stay here. Let's go to Marina.