In May: ordered to survive

We look at modern video cards, and we think that there is a use for them that is more worthy than mining bitcoins - at their temperatures one can safely fry meat. Under the brazier, the system unit case is perfect, the grids from the server racks are suitable for grilling ... So we have the entire data center for the May months. One pleases - not without reason.

Previously, the Russians had one test per year - to survive the New Year holidays, preferably safe and sound. A new challenge - 5 + 4 days in a warm spring setting in the country or in nature: with shovels, dishes on the fire, in the pleasant company of loved ones and unpleasant neighborhood of ticks. And if almost everything is familiar with the rules of handling fire and mites, then there is some kind of trouble with food: it is overdried, not overdone, then tasteless, then gastrointestinal upset. But each of us is just a carrier of the secret of cooking on fire, the guru of administration of hot coals and DevOps-kebab. Well, let's talk on Tuesday and Friday relaxed?

Since the image of the most gastronomic Habr blog (which cost one epic with burgers and a sensational post about the values of food!) Was behind RUVDS, then we take upon ourselves the hard work of warning Habr and the audience that it might be painful and painful to spend holidays . Well, as true fans of cooking at the stake, we will share with you the secrets of our colleagues' skills.
')

What is good cuisine for "nature"?

In general, eating in the open air is just a holiday of some kind, and there are five reasons for this.

In the fresh air, we actively move, we eat mostly standing and at intervals, so the food is digested much better. But we are eating, of course, we are at least one and a half times more - the appetite is brutal.
Outdoors, food is tastier because we actively breathe and taste buds become more sensitive. All tastes seem brighter, and the flavors are cleaner.
Good company and good mood are a factor of healthy and healthy time spent.
Free access of oxygen and low CO2 content in the air significantly increase the intensity and efficiency of the brain, drowsiness disappears. By the way, you can think about working questions or discuss them if you spend time with colleagues - you will be surprised at the found insights.
After outdoor activities, dream is fabulous - your smartwatch will tell you that you have slept better than 90% of the people on the planet. But this is on condition that you did not eat or drink. Therefore, with alcohol, you need to be more moderate, and with food tie up 4 hours before bedtime.

So, too, never do, skewers may be too expensive =)

No boring recipes

We consulted and selected the most interesting recipes within the team, which, as they say, were tested on themselves. And this is not only banal meat on coals, which, of course, each of us fries you as the owner of a kebab house with two Michelin stars :)

▍Shashlyk useful for IT professionals lazy

Step 1. At home in the evening. We cut in medium pieces any meat, stew in a pan almost until cooked with spices. We put the finished meat in the food container - and in the refrigerator.

Step 2. In nature. Kindle brazier. On skewers strung ready meat. 10 minutes - and a soft, fragrant kebab with smoke is ready.

Step 3. We give to friends / relatives with ground onions, tkemali, adjika and fresh greens with spices.

Pros: short processing of smoke, soft meat, ease of preparation.

▍Kazan for those who prefer to eat better

We put onions, potatoes in heated sunflower oil, and then to taste and physical accessibility: mushrooms, bell pepper, zucchini, tomato - all up to the heap. Add 200 ml of water. 20 minutes - and juicy flavored dish is ready.

▍ Khashlama is simple

This is just boiled meat in a cauldron with salt and spices. Then we use it with sauce - who wants to with what (but not with mayonnaise!).

▍Hashlama team (simplified version)

In the water boiling in the cauldron we lay down any meat and bring it to readiness. Then - in layers: onion, eggplant, Bulgarian pepper, tomatoes, potatoes - at will, and onion again. On top - one bottle of non-alcoholic beer. 20 minutes - open the lid - all the vitamins and taste inside.

▍ Mushroom hit of the season

We take champignons, put a piece of butter in each mushroom, spread it on the grill “butter up” and grill until done. A piece of amazing juiciness and tenderness, can be used as an independent snack.

Well, forget about ready sausages, sausages and sausages for a few days! Always a pleasant and useful alternative to kebabs: grilled vegetables, steaks from meat, fish and poultry, mushrooms on the grill. Everything is sprinkled with salt and pepper, lightly sprinkled with butter or marinated in advance the day before. Classic.

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Little things do not happen, they decide

▍ Bread

In general, with this amount of food, it is better to limit yourself to yeast bread, including rye bread. He will add a revolutionary mood to your digestive tract. The ideal option is thin Armenian lavash (such large sheets), it absorbs the sauce quite well, light and most importantly, anything can be wrapped into it.

▍Sauses

Sauces rule the taste, make the products juicy and fragrant. Mayonnaise unambiguously refuse, they are too fat. Standard ketchups are a harmless option, but they are so overwhelmed with vinegar and acids that they completely overwhelm the taste of any food and you just eat ketchup on some basis.

But these options are pleasant and useful:

Tkemali - sour sauce of ground plum or cherry plum. Ideal for meat and fish, has a beneficial effect on digestion, does not cause allergies.
Adjika (dry or liquid) - spicy tomato-pepper sauce with lots of spices, aromatic, emphasizes the taste of any meat.
Narsharab - pomegranate sauce with a tart special taste. Suitable for vegetables, meat, fish. But do not take it alone, if you do not like it, you will be left without valuable stock.
Soy sauce and teriyaki sauce - for the amateur, a lot depends on the quality, composition and taste preferences. Good with baked potatoes.

Well, one more piece of advice - we are engineers and optimization for you, so cook and wash everything in advance at home: washed and peeled vegetables, onions, potatoes (in water), chop up cheese in urban areas. Use for packaging foil.

Strict taboos that will preserve health and mood

Never drink fatty fried meat and especially lamb with cold, icy or raw water and juices - this is, with a probability close to 100%, that will lead to unpleasant stomach and intestinal disorders. The choice of the author of this post is black tea with thyme, it is perfectly combined with any meat.
Do not eat sour cream, sour cream and mayonnaise sauces. Sour cream is instantly inseminated in heat and turns into biological weapons, and mayonnaise or the same cheese sauce is just a hat trick on your liver. Mayonnaise salads are also relevant.
Do not eat chips, seeds, nuts, along with the main meal - firstly, it is high in calories, and secondly, it slows down digestion. It is better to give preference to cheese, vegetables and greens.
Do not eat sweet for dessert - it can be a trigger for failure in the entire system. In nature, the best dessert is sweet fruit, with the exception of bananas. Bananas are a separate and uneasy food for your organism.
Do not abuse alcohol. Of course, to drink or not to drink is only your conscious choice, but it is better to be moderate, alcohol, combined with food and in the heat, creates disasters. The author of the post does not drink and dares to assure that without alcohol it turns out tasty and fun.

Little horror stories

Pork is rather hard to digest, so pork shish kebab is not recommended for those who have problems with the digestive tract. So it is better to choose dietary and tender fish, turkey and chicken.

In the process of frying food on an open fire (and not only), carcinogens (for example, nitrosamines) are formed - compounds that can potentially lead to cancer. It sounds scary, no doubt. But in order to get a real impact on the body, you need to lean on the kebabs constantly, for several months. It is clear that in five days of unbridled gluttony, carcinogens will not do anything to you — moreover, with the right combination of products on the festive table and grill, you can minimize the harm.

By the way, contrary to popular belief, acid and even rosemary in the marinade in no way reduces the likelihood of harmful compounds during frying, so it is not necessary to pour your meat or chicken with liters of vinegar or pour rosemary to the flavor of the New Year tree. But what really makes the meat harmful and even dangerous is the ignition fluid, which is a priori the strongest carcinogen, and often the cause of allergies, even among the most persistent.

In general, there are several rules for preparing products for frying on the grill, which will help you to avoid at least half of the risks.

Do not buy meat in ready-made marinades — they often mask the “second freshness” of meat or chicken. In addition, it is economically disadvantageous - you buy onions and marinade at the price of pork neck, so it’s best to buy in the official market or in a farm shop, and make the marinade your own, tough, harmonious and tasty.
Marinate meat in enamel, earthenware, ceramic or glass dish. Plastic, aluminum and steel can release harmful substances during pickling.
Do not fry products on unburned coals - the smoke will supply your kebab with harmful compounds and frankly toxic substances, unpleasant strong smell and even bitterness. Eliminate firewood from conifers and liquid for ignition (including gasoline, kerosene and other types of fuel).
Fry meat, fish, poultry - kebab is not a reason to try steak with blood, it is a completely different cooking technology.
Do not put the finished kebab or vegetables in the pan with marinade - firstly, the marinade does not kill microorganisms, and secondly, they are completely free to warm in the heat and during marinating, thirdly, the hottest barbecue is not able to boil the marinade.
If you are still careful of fried meat, just cut the crust from the kebab and you will get a relatively dietary and at the same time no less fragrant meat.
Wash your hands before eating, and even better after washing, wipe with an antiseptic (you can use sanitary gel, or even better with cheap and angry chlorhexidine).
No, vodka in the stomach does not sterilize anything.

First Aid Kit

As a rule, everything goes without trouble, but we are all complex organisms and are not insured against potential dangers. And who is armed, he is protected. Of course, in all critical situations and in acute conditions, you should consult a doctor or call an ambulance, and not self-medicate. If unpleasant symptoms and disorders of the gastrointestinal tract are accompanied by sustained fever, pain, cramps, sight flies, loss or confusion, contact your doctor as soon as possible. But if trouble happened, and everything is more or less normal, there are a number of pharmacy and non-pharmacy tools that will help you recover.

Activated carbon is the number one in the treatment of poisoning and disorders. You need to take this adsorbent at least twice in the amount of 1 tablet per 10 kg of weight (but the dose can be increased).
Enterosgel is a wonderful adsorbent that can be drunk at the first sign of frustration or after washing the stomach. He very quickly removes signs of intoxication and generally alleviates the condition.
If nausea is associated with overeating, then mezim forte or motilium will help (motilak, motonium, any domperidone drugs, although the author is more like motilium express, which melts in the language in seconds, acts quickly and immediately removes the unpleasant feeling due to mint taste) . Norma - no more than 3 tablets per day, but less is better, this is a serious drug with contraindications.
An excellent remedy for heartburn and severity is omez (it is omeprazole), besides, it does not conflict, but on the contrary works great with domperidone preparations (if omez D, domperidone is not needed). It is better to take it an hour before the upcoming feast, if you are not sure of the stomach, but you can and after. However, this is a course drug, and it is better not to abuse them. And yes, soda for heartburn - evil, do not be so.
Allohol is an old and proven remedy for cholecystitis and pancreatic problems. It is better to take it for prevention in those days when you overload the body with fatty foods.
It is categorically not recommended to use imodium and any derivatives of loperamide - they do not cure the cause of intestinal upset, but only, very roughly, “paralyze” the intestine, reduce peristalsis. So you only aggravate the condition. It is better to drink more water and take furazolidone / enterofuril / ecofuril before returning to the city and visiting a doctor as needed.
Potassium permanganate (parmanganate potassium) is useful in case of poisoning. A pale pink solution will make gastric lavage more effective and less stressful.
Do not forget peroxide, bandages, iodine for treating wounds (remember that cotton wool can “jam” into a large wound), do not forget the aqueous solution of chlorhexidine - it disinfects hands, dishes, the summer table (which is always better to wipe - mice could walk on it, and on the street also birds).
Well, the basic set: a thermometer, anesthetic, antipyretic, antihistamines, ammonia and those that are shown individually to you.

By the way, I will share one secret that I have been using for many years. Before you eat something fat and complex, tear ... dandelion columns, tear a bud or a flower from them right up to your neck, squeeze 2-3 such pillars (without a flower, just legs!), Swallow bitterness, and do not swallow the grass itself need to. This eco-friendly and affordable bitterness improves appetite and digestion, enhances the secretion of gastric juice, has a choleretic effect. You just help your body a little to cope with the May menu.

In general, fresh air is also a shovel, badminton, volleyball, board games, cards, dominoes, guitar and even dancing. Set aside gadgets, let them work as a tape recorder, chat, relax, admire the burgeoning and reviving nature. It will give you strength. Do not worry about business data - they are in perfect order if they are hosted on RUVDS servers :)