Superman vs Programmer

Based on real events.

September turned out pretty nasty. As soon as the trill of the first calls subsided, it started raining, where did the March winds come from, and the temperature of Celsius completely fits in one bit.

The young man carefully avoided the puddles, trying not to stain elegant black shoes. Behind him came another one, like two drops of water — an unremarkable gray jacket, classic jeans, a thin face, and an uncovered head with a shock of blond hair fluttering in the wind.
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The first went to the intercom and pressed a button. After a brief electronic trill, a raspy voice rang out.

- For whom? The intercom asked.

- For Boreas! - shouted the guy, believing that because of the wind it will be hard to hear.

- What? Who came for? - in the voice was heard obvious irritation.

- For Boreas! - the guy shouted even louder.

- Quiet is necessary. Said the second with a smile. - They have a fig tube there, they won't hear.

- For Boreas I, for Boreas. Boris - repeated the first in a calm voice, and smiled politely, looking at the second. - Thank!

The intercom made an inviting sound, the magnet on the door clicked pleasantly, and the comrades in misfortune went inside the kindergarten building. Inside there was a dressing room - almost all groups in this institution had separate entrances.

- Dad! - There was a scream from around the corner of the locker room. - My dad came!

Immediately towards the razuvayuschihsya men jumped out a little happy boy and rushed to hug the first.

- Wait, Boris, it's dirty here. - Dad answered with a smile. - Now I will come and hug.

- And my dad came! - another kid ran out from around the corner.

- And my - the first! - began to tease Boris.

- But my but - the second!

- Nick, do not argue. - strictly said the second dad. - Let's go get dressed.

A teacher appeared from around the corner. She took a look at her fathers with a stern look - they came last, but then, as if remembering something, she smiled.

“May I ask you to sit here for ten minutes?” She asked. - The partner took the key with her, but I need to close the group. I run away to the watch, there should be a spare. Wait?

- Sure, not a problem. - the first dad shrugged.

- Well, thank you. - the teacher told me in a smile and with a quick step moved to the door. - I quickly!

Friendly company moved to the lockers. Borin, with an airplane, was opposite Kolina, with a ball.

- It's hot here ... - said the first dad, thought for a couple of seconds, took off his jacket and laid it neatly on the carpet near the cabinet.

- Oh, what a beautiful T-shirt you have, Dad! - Borya shouted, then turned to Kolya. - Look! I told you, my dad is the first! He has a draw on his shirt!

Kohl pulled away from dressing, and saw a bright yellow T-shirt with a large red unit on his chest. Nearby, there was another symbol, the values ​​of which the kids did not yet know.

- Dad, what is this figure? - Borya jabbed a finger at a t-shirt.

- This is the letter "C", son. Together read "one es."

- Dad, what is “es”? - Boria did not let up.

- Well ... The letter is like that. Like the word ... Superman, for example.

- My dad is superman! He is one superman! - shouted Borya.

The second father smiled and calmly continued to wear Kohl. The owner of the yellow T-shirt got a little confused, turned away to the cabinet and began to rummage in it.

- Dad, why are you so smart? - asked Borya, pulling off his shorts. - You were on holiday, right?

- Almost. At the seminar.

- And what is the seven ... Narem ... Minar ...

- Seminar. This is when many aunts gather, and I, and my friends in the same T-shirts, tell them how to work.

- How to work? - Borya rounded his eyes.

- Well yes.

- Do they not know how to work? - the inquisitive kid continued to be surprised.

- Well, how ... They know, but not all. Something only I know, here and tell them.

- Kolya! Kolya! And my dad knows best how to work! They all come to him on the sermernar, and dad teaches them there! He is the first superman!

- And my, too, goes on sermnar! Shouted Kolya, then turned to his father and asked quietly. - Dad, do you teach your aunt to work?

- No, son. I teach uncles. And they teach me. We are going and everyone tells how to work.

- Are you also the first superman? - With hope asked Kohl.

- No, I'm a programmer.

- Boris! My dad is a programmer! He, too, goes to sermernary and uncles teaches!

“Dad, who is this ... Porgram ...” Boria asked his father.

- Well, I, actually, am also a programmer. - quietly, but confidently answered dad.

- Yeah! I heard? - Borya was in seventh heaven. - My dad and pragrammist, and superman! And he is the first!

Kohl pouted his lips and fell silent. Suddenly, his dad spoke.

- Kolya, do you want a seminar with me not to go? BUT?

- Want! Want! Where is it far away?

- ABOUT! Very far! We will fly with you on an airplane, take our mom with us, I will be at the seminar this afternoon, and you will swim at sea! Great, huh?

- Yes! Hooray! Second time at sea! Dad, you're superman too!

- Not. - Dad smiled a little condescendingly. - I'm not a superman. Unfortunately, supermen are not invited to this seminar. Only programmers.

- So, Boris will not go?

“Well, I don’t know that ...” the dad hesitated.

- Boris! Shouted Kolya. - And we will fly to the sermernar by plane! And we will swim in the sea! And supermen are not allowed there!

“And I ... And we ...” Borya was about to say something, but suddenly he began to sob.

- Borka! - intervened father. - What is this sea to us? What a boring thing! We just got back from there! Come on, that's better ...

Borya stopped sobbing and looked hopefully at his father. Kohl stood with his mouth open and, unnoticed by himself, began to poke around his nose. His father looked to the side, but the tense posture betrayed him with giblets.

- Do you know what? - Borin dad finally came up with something. “Tomorrow we will go to the automobile plant!” Do you want I’m just introducing there ... Uh-uh ... Tetenek teach how to count money, and I can walk where I want! You and I will go and see how huge cars make! Just imagine!

- Want! Want! - Boris happily clapped his hands.

- And they will give you a hard hat there! Remember, I showed you my photo in a helmet?

Boris was nodding merrily. His eyes shone with happiness.

- And then ... - continued, almost gasping, dad. - We'll go to a giant farm! Remember, you and your mom were playing on the computer? There they carried the testicles, the cows - the milk, the piglets - uh ... Well, what do you say?

- Want! Dad! Want! - Borya almost jumped out of half-stretched tights. - And we will be allowed there because you are superman?

- Well, yes, all aunts on this farm believe that I am a superman. - proudly declared dad. - I really helped them count the money.

“Sssuk ...” whispered Kolya’s dad. But Nick heard.

- And my dad is a bitch! - shouted the baby. - Really, dad? Bitch is stronger than Superman?

- Shh, Kohl. - Dad quickly began to blush. - This is a bad word, do not memorize it ... And do not tell your mother. Dad is a programmer.

“I also want to play on the farm ...” Kolya began to moan.

- You know what ... - Dad smiled. - I will make you a game! The best! And about the farm, and about cars - in general, about what you want! And let's call her ... What do we call? Kohl is the best?

- Dad, how do we make the game? - incredulously asked the baby.

- Your dad is a programmer! - proudly answered father. - Programmers do not climb the piglets poo, they sit in a high, beautiful house, and create games! You and I will make such a game - you will download! We will lay out on the Internet, and the whole world will play it! The whole world will know about my Kohl, everyone will envy you! Even supermen!

Kohl beamed. He happily looked at his father, constantly looking around at the frowning Boria and his unfortunate (at the moment) parent.

- Do you want to be in the game and superman? - intensified the pressure of Colin Papa. - Let him ... I do not know ... chasing chickens? Or chicken for him? BUT? What is it like? Chickens, geese, ducks, pigs, cows - all run after the superman and try to pull off his pants.

- Dad, he's superman. - Kolya frowned. - He is the strongest, all hens will win.

- Yeah! But what about kryptonite? This is such a pebble, because of him the superman is losing strength! With you and me all the chickens will be from kryptonite ... Well, from the magic pebble, which superman wins!

“Okay,” answered Kolya uncertainly.

- That's agreed! - Dad clapped his hands. - And now let's get dressed!

In Borin corner it was gloomy. The father, not wanting to continue to think and look stupid, began frantically to dress his son. Gritted his teeth so that his cheekbones cracked.

“Dad ...” said Borya quietly. - After all, you will not win the chicken?

- Not. - Father said through clenched teeth.

“Will the police protect you?”

- Yes. Police. - Dad answered, but then he stopped, as if it dawned on him, and sharply raised the volume of his voice. - Listen, Borka! Tomorrow we'll go to the real police! We will help them catch the bandits!

Son smiled. Kohl, with his mouth wide open, began to look around in both directions. The programming father, dumbfounded, and no longer hiding, looked at the enemy.

- Yes! For sure! - Dad took Boria by the shoulders and shook him a bit, having overworked with effort, from which the baby's head began to dangle helplessly. “I know one aunt here ... And an uncle ... who stole money!” And they think that nobody knows! And I know! You and I will go to the police and tell them everything! Imagine, Bor'ka, how delighted they will be! Real cops! Maybe they will give you a medal!

- I ... Medal? - surprised Boris.

- Of course! You, son, a medal! After all, with our help, they will catch the real bandits! Yes, about me and you in the newspapers write!

“Obituary ...” Kolya's father smiled unkindly.

- What are you mumbling there? - suddenly cried superman.

- Damn, dude, you bee ass bitten or what? Kohl, do not remember this word ...

- me? - Superman round his eyes and jumped up from his seat. - And who was talking about the sea here? Who first started?

Borya recoiled from his father, took a step to the side and looked at what was happening with fright. Kohl again went to the nose with a finger.

- Yes, what's the difference, who first started ... You will merge your clients right now in order to win the stupid dispute? Are you in the mind at all? They really will close!

- I forgot to ask you, the programmer is crap! Tru go and right?

- Well, pepper is clear, I don’t teach students to count money. - the programmer has quipped. - Go, count chicken poop, and don’t miss a single one, otherwise the balance will not converge.

- What is the balance, moron? Do you know what balance is?

- Oh, well, come on, dissolve me on your yellow-skinned notions. Yes, you know, yes you do not know ... Kindergarten, the right word.

- Well, and you with your beautiful high buildings, what, not a kindergarten? Sagitizing with cookies, milk and sofas, why are you writing there in your vacancies? Eat, eat and bainki. See life first, visit the factory at least for one visit, then, after about five years, come to the computer to write your govnokod!

- What for me your factories, if I already three times more than you get? - the programmer smiled smugly. - To each his own. To whom - cookies and money, and to whom - to climb on dirty workshops, but with auntie in the gums to kiss. And yelling - I'm a programmer, I'm superman! Ugh! Shame profession!

- Is it me a shame? - Superman menacingly stepped towards the programmer.

Suddenly, the door opened, and a breathless teacher rushed into the dressing room.

- Oh ... Excuse me ... Run for a long time ... What are you doing here? From the corridor heard, discussing something?

The fathers were silent, looking at each other frowningly. The kids looked around in fright at the adults, trying to understand at least something.

- Did you discuss how much, how much money should you take to the prom? - smiled teacher. - BUT? What are the red ones?

“No, no,” the programmer waved his hand. - So, we debated on a professional topic.

- Colleagues, or what?

“Er ...” the programmer hesitated. - Well yes. Related people.

- I see. - the facilitator sighed with relief.

Superman also relaxed a bit, patted his son in the head and began to pull his jacket over him. The programmer wiped Kole snot, quietly snapped on the nose, from which the baby broke into a joyful smile. The teacher once again looked at her parents and went to the group.

- Eh ... - Superman sighed. - We talked with you, God forbid that at home they will repeat ... Explain yourself later ...

- Yeah ... - the programmer smiled with relief. - You are…

- Yes, I understood. You too. Yeah

- Yeah. How do you call something?