5 ways to leave work stress at work

Firaz was recently appointed director of a company worth a billion dollars, where he worked in various positions for nine years. For two years he sought this position, but, having received it, Firaz was very far from happy.

There were a lot of stress at work. He was stunned by the responsibility of managing a team of senior managers, in particular because not so long ago they were still his colleagues. Another stress factor came from the board of directors, which, although it supported his candidacy for the post of general director, was divided in opinions about the company's strategy. A sense of fear and inconsistency in the position held also contributed, as the company needed to be led forward in the process of introducing new government bills and against the background of intense competition from other companies.

In addition, Firaz could not say that he achieved success in his personal life. Before assuming the role of director, he promised his wife and children that he would be home for dinner every day. And although he physically sat at his desk, all his attention was taken away by text messages coming to the phone every few minutes. He began to annoy all sorts of stuff. Often he would fall asleep when he needed to be awake (for example, while reading a bedtime story to children), and was awake when he needed to sleep (at three o'clock in the morning).
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The pressure from Firaz’s work seeped into his home and cut off from one of the most important stress relief resources — the family.

To experience these feelings, you do not need to be the CEO. Stress happens on most jobs. And here are five ways to recharge at home, without adding your stress in the lives of the very people who want to support you more than others.

Chat for real. When you are not 100% at home, because you are distracted by work, your family may decide that you do not pay attention to them, because you do not appreciate them, or because they have done something wrong. Instead, be sincere about what is happening. Firaz learned to say: “I am learning my new role, this is a big step uphill. I feel overwhelmed, and perhaps in the next three months you will witness more telephone conversations about work than I would like. ” Having shared his thoughts, Firaz could not keep his stress inside - this often leads to emotional outbursts, both at home and at work.

At the same time, be sure to correctly explain the situation with your homework. When Firaz shared his concerns about the new job, his seven-year-old daughter gave him her weekly pocket money, hoping that she could help him. Realizing that he might have made her worry more than he would have liked, Firaz explained to her: “Although I am under pressure at work, I wanted to get to this position and I really like to do it. Everything that worries me will be resolved as soon as I learn to cope with the new role and hire more people. ”

Make the transitions from one state to another before returning home. On the way home from work, take time to change your fortune. Firaz began by staying at the lake on the way home. He got out of the car and sat on the bench for a couple of minutes, looking at the landscape, and then he drove on. This daily ritual was a signal to turn off working problems (at least until the end of dinner), and to prepare for a new kind of interaction with people at home. You can come up with other rituals to consciously switch from one mode to another. If you go home by train, you can look at the family photo before you leave the station, and in this way transfer concentration to the family.

Share the load. Your family gives you support and feels your stressful situations and moods. Although it helps to communicate with them about the thoughts that occupy you, do not try to dump all your pent-up emotions on them. Find a trusted friend, colleague, or coach — or perhaps a person from the board of directors — who can support you in stressful situations. It can be used as an outlet, as a way to talk or get advice. During one of our coaching sessions, Firaz was distracted by something, and said that he was afraid of the upcoming conversation with the financial director. We spent a whole hour exploring the sources of his concern — revealing the general pattern that Firaz demonstrated each time when there was a threat of confrontation with another person — and came up with a strategy for upcoming conversations. In the end, Firaz was able to remove his anxieties and go home to a far more relaxed way.

Select one day for processing. Agree with your family on which days you will be at home on time and attend 100%, and choose one day when you may be late more than usual. On this day, you may not have time for dinner, sitting at work and finishing something and shortening the list of tasks. The choice of the “day of lateness” is a personal matter for everyone, but it helps to introduce constancy into the routine, and your family can plan ahead.

Enjoy your luck. Studies show that gratitude has many advantages, including reducing stress. Before you arrive at home, take a look at your work day, and determine something for which you are grateful - no matter how miserable this thing is. On particularly difficult days, Firaz may at least be grateful for the presence of the Starbucks cafe on the ground floor of a business center.

Intentionally coping with work stress outside the office, Firaz made room for his wife and children while at home, which helped him to look at things in perspective, relax and cope with his worries. He was able to go to bed on time and where needed. He also discovered that the transitions from a stressful to a relaxed state made him a role model for his children. His 16-year-old son used some of the steps of this technique in order to cope with his anxiety about a failed friendship.

By actively working with stress, you weaken his power over you and regain control of your work and personal life.