Judgments about the safety of the sage Yin Fu Woo, recorded by his students

Such interesting, from my point of view, IT parables were published in Computerra No. 39 of October 21, 2008.

#one

Once in a smoking room, users began to resent that the Sysadmin had closed all access to the Odnoklassniki website. Yin Fu Wo heard about this and frowned.

- Why did you close people access? - He asked the sysadmin when they had a coffee break after a smoke break.
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- Because such sites are not needed for work.

- Do you need to smoke for work?

- Actually, no ...

- And drink coffee?

- Well ...

“Well then,” said the Teacher, “give people access.”

# 2

Once the Sysadmin complained to the Teacher:

- We gave out all our users individual passwords, but they do not want to keep them secret. Write on sheets and stick to monitors. What should we do? How to make them?

Yin Fu Vo asked:

- First tell me why they do it.

The sysadmin thought and answered:

- Maybe they do not consider the password valuable?

- Is the password itself valuable?

- Not by itself. Valuable information that is under a password.

- For whom is it valuable?

- For our company.

- And for users?

- For users, apparently not.

“So it is,” said the Master. - There is nothing valuable for our employees under the password. It is necessary that it was.

- What is valuable to them? - asked the sysadmin.

“Guess three times,” laughed Teacher.

The sysadmin left the enlightened one and made personal pages for all employees on the corporate portal. And on those pages was specified salary. Upon learning of this, all users were worried about their passwords. The next day in the smoking room they discussed the size of Glavbuch's salary. On the third day, no one could see the leaves with passwords.

# 3

Once the Sysadmin complained to the Teacher:

- Antivirus does not help. At all workstations installed, updated twice a day. Anyway, every week someone gets infected and loses data.

The teacher shook his head regretfully.

“We have to do something,” continued the Sysadmin.

Teacher nodded slightly. The sysadmin asked:

- Which is better: put a new multi-core antivirus for everyone or raise a centralized backup system?

The teacher said:

- Conduct courses for users.

#four

One day, the Director asked Yin Fu Voo about protection against internal threats. He said:

- In the outside world there are a hundred people who would like to get confidential information from your network. And there are five people who can do it. But these hundred are unlikely to meet with these five.

Another Teacher said:

- And in your internal network there are five users who would like to get confidential information. And there are a hundred who can do it. And they have already met.

#five

One day, the Director came to counsel Inu for advice. The director said:

- I would like to force all users to follow strict security rules. But then they will take offense at me and begin to work worse. I would like to give users complete freedom. But then they pick up viruses, divulge confidential information, and our business will suffer. How do I find a middle ground?

Yin Fu Woo replied:

- The height of the fence is equal to the height of the lowest section. The strength of the chain is equal to the strength of the weakest link. Make the most negligent of the users to comply with those safety rules, which without coercion are all the others.

- How simple! The Director exclaimed and the enlightened one left.

# 6

The director asked the venerable Yin:

- I offer to buy a system of protection against unauthorized access. Is it worth the money that is being asked for it?

Yin Fu Woo asked in response:

- How many unauthorized access cases have you had in the past three years?

“None,” said the Director.

- And how many laptops and flash drives have your workers lost during this time?

“Two laptops,” answered the Director, “and no one counted flash drives.”

“Why not buy a system for encrypting information on laptops and flash drives instead?” - said Yin Fu Woo.

# 7

Once the sysadmin asked:

- Teacher, would you like a beautiful picture for your desktop? I have a nice collection of desktop wallpapers with a starry sky and moral law.

- Why do you think my current wallpaper is worse? - asked Yin Fu Wo in reply.

- I do not know what your picture is now. I have never seen your desktop. You always have a lot of windows open.

“I never saw him either,” said Yin. - I work.

#eight

Once the Junior Accountant presented a cactus as a gift to Master.

“Put it near your monitor,” she said. - This cactus will protect you from harmful radiation.

“Take it to the sysadmin,” said Yin Fu Woo. “Cactus won't help me.”

- Why? - offended asked Junior Accountant.

“There are no drivers for it under FreeBSD,” answered Teacher.

#9

The sysadmin asked the teachers:

- The article says that any increase in security reduces the loyalty of employees. It's true?

Yin Fu Woo replied:

- In fact, increased security reduces convenience. Reduced comfort increases fatigue. Increased fatigue reduces honesty. And a decrease in the employees' conscientiousness is what the owner should avoid.

“Then what is loyalty?” - asked the sysadmin.

“Loyalty,” Yin Fu Woo grinned. “It was the Japanese who invented that they should not pay money.”

PS
when I entered “yin fu war” into the search for Habr, I was surprised at how Tolstoy L.N. broke through Comrade klassikaa with “War and Peace”.