For some reason, MVP does not start (minimally viable product)
On a warm autumn morning in the center of Moscow, near the entrance to the gray skyscraper, a well-dressed man was walking nervously. He was wearing an immaculate suit, an expensive tie, and flawless red Italian shoes.
It was the general director, and he was waiting for the delegation checking on the IT enterprise entrusted to him. The straightening, short haircut of graying hair and steel-giving look - successfully complemented the image.
The delegation was late, and the Gender demandingly looked at his companion. He was distinguished by an elusive look, a gray appearance, as if spreading in the air, and responded to the appeal “Colonel”, and better - “Mr. Colonel”. For he was from where the colonels remain forever.
The colonel on the radio interviewed the posts on the possible route.
')
Finally he blinked: the Maybachs were spotted two minutes from the office.
Gendru was to show the delegation.
As it should be in the theater - he started with a hanger. From the locker room.
Gray to the floor growth cabinets stored outerwear developers, testers and system analysts ...
A stand with boxes for mobile phones and other personnel electronics was arranged separately. Opposite the stand sat a concentrated guard with accounting books. He had a serious task: to provide personnel with access to the mobile network no more than twice a day and for no more than 5 minutes, or more often upon presentation of a specially designed requirement.
The delegation followed further - in a huge open-space.
Smooth tables, distant, neat rows of monitors, a hundred people at clean tables, publishing only a keyboard reset and mouse clicks.
It was a beautiful sight: hundreds of workers in gray or blue suits, with neat haircuts, were looking intently at the screens. All monitors are turned to the aisle, panoramic windows cover the blinds - nothing distracts: neither the sunrise, nor the night.
The delegation was impressed: in this huge Zadeh, where, it seems, everyone breathed in and out in unison, was born right now, in front of them, a unique innovative IT solution ...
But suddenly! one place turned out to be free: the table was, but no one sat behind it! Gendir chewed his lips and glanced at the colonel - he briefly threw into the walkie-talkie: “seat 72, code 15”.
The delegation passed a zonchik with a small female part of the staff: white top, black bottom, natural make-up and low heels - everything was verified in this company. Gendru was pleased to feel the obvious satisfaction of the high guests.
The delegation walked past the cabinets with the signs "Polygraph", "First Section", "Contact Monitoring Bureau".
- What is it? - they are interested.
- The file is collected: if there is anyone who will meet in the evening, and what will he give to whom, the general answered, entering his office.
It immediately became clear that his master was used to keeping everything under control.
It looked like a trader from the stock exchange or a flight control center: a huge half-wall monitor showed pictures from all one hundred workers' monitors at once. Some of them are highlighted in pink - those who slow down the rate of writing code or something else important. The second huge monitor showed video from surveillance cameras.
On the director's neat five-meter table were full trays of papers: “daily reports,” “memo notes,” and something else.
In the center of the table lay a multi-colored printout of A3 format: “Schedule of layoffs”.
It is obvious that the owner worked on this document for a long time and thoughtfully.
The inspectors were satisfied, they were confused only by one thing: the MVP of a cardinal, innovative, new, systemic solution was not yet obtained ....
- ... 60-hour work week, conversations with relatives, improvement of the KPI system ... - Gendir reported on new initiatives.
At this time, on the monitor of the video surveillance cameras, it was clear how the guards pulled out a man from the table, dragged him to the entrance door and laid him on the sidewalk, carefully adjusting his tie.
- What is it? The rosy cheeker asked.
- Do not worry! He signed everything long ago. And now ... well, maybe the heart ... But we do not need accidents at work?
The visit went to a logical conclusion, the general order was approved by the management.
That's just with the MVP ... Well, somehow did not develop .... Temporarily, probably.
Ps. From the author.
Of course, this is a compilation of three companies.
Place of action: Moscow (City, Skolkovo (!)) And Kaluga region.
Action time: summer 2018 - spring 2019.
It was the general director, and he was waiting for the delegation checking on the IT enterprise entrusted to him. The straightening, short haircut of graying hair and steel-giving look - successfully complemented the image.
The delegation was late, and the Gender demandingly looked at his companion. He was distinguished by an elusive look, a gray appearance, as if spreading in the air, and responded to the appeal “Colonel”, and better - “Mr. Colonel”. For he was from where the colonels remain forever.
The colonel on the radio interviewed the posts on the possible route.
')
Finally he blinked: the Maybachs were spotted two minutes from the office.
Gendru was to show the delegation.
As it should be in the theater - he started with a hanger. From the locker room.
Gray to the floor growth cabinets stored outerwear developers, testers and system analysts ...
A stand with boxes for mobile phones and other personnel electronics was arranged separately. Opposite the stand sat a concentrated guard with accounting books. He had a serious task: to provide personnel with access to the mobile network no more than twice a day and for no more than 5 minutes, or more often upon presentation of a specially designed requirement.
The delegation followed further - in a huge open-space.
Smooth tables, distant, neat rows of monitors, a hundred people at clean tables, publishing only a keyboard reset and mouse clicks.
It was a beautiful sight: hundreds of workers in gray or blue suits, with neat haircuts, were looking intently at the screens. All monitors are turned to the aisle, panoramic windows cover the blinds - nothing distracts: neither the sunrise, nor the night.
The delegation was impressed: in this huge Zadeh, where, it seems, everyone breathed in and out in unison, was born right now, in front of them, a unique innovative IT solution ...
But suddenly! one place turned out to be free: the table was, but no one sat behind it! Gendir chewed his lips and glanced at the colonel - he briefly threw into the walkie-talkie: “seat 72, code 15”.
The delegation passed a zonchik with a small female part of the staff: white top, black bottom, natural make-up and low heels - everything was verified in this company. Gendru was pleased to feel the obvious satisfaction of the high guests.
The delegation walked past the cabinets with the signs "Polygraph", "First Section", "Contact Monitoring Bureau".
- What is it? - they are interested.
- The file is collected: if there is anyone who will meet in the evening, and what will he give to whom, the general answered, entering his office.
It immediately became clear that his master was used to keeping everything under control.
It looked like a trader from the stock exchange or a flight control center: a huge half-wall monitor showed pictures from all one hundred workers' monitors at once. Some of them are highlighted in pink - those who slow down the rate of writing code or something else important. The second huge monitor showed video from surveillance cameras.
On the director's neat five-meter table were full trays of papers: “daily reports,” “memo notes,” and something else.
In the center of the table lay a multi-colored printout of A3 format: “Schedule of layoffs”.
It is obvious that the owner worked on this document for a long time and thoughtfully.
The inspectors were satisfied, they were confused only by one thing: the MVP of a cardinal, innovative, new, systemic solution was not yet obtained ....
- ... 60-hour work week, conversations with relatives, improvement of the KPI system ... - Gendir reported on new initiatives.
At this time, on the monitor of the video surveillance cameras, it was clear how the guards pulled out a man from the table, dragged him to the entrance door and laid him on the sidewalk, carefully adjusting his tie.
- What is it? The rosy cheeker asked.
- Do not worry! He signed everything long ago. And now ... well, maybe the heart ... But we do not need accidents at work?
The visit went to a logical conclusion, the general order was approved by the management.
That's just with the MVP ... Well, somehow did not develop .... Temporarily, probably.
Ps. From the author.
Of course, this is a compilation of three companies.
Place of action: Moscow (City, Skolkovo (!)) And Kaluga region.
Action time: summer 2018 - spring 2019.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/444350/
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