Ideal post on Habrahabr: what is it?

...
Here is a perfect quote:
xxx> I atsky odmin, I in the server cat through a shredder for 25 seconds missed
yyy> huyase o_0
bash.org.ru

Introduction

In this topic I'm not going to talk on the topic "Habr is not the same", and other garbage. I will try to tell you what a “golden topic” should be, arguing in terms of Lepremes (a topic with 97.5% of ratings is a plus, the rest can be a minus). The theme is in "Humor" - because it is just humor, and does not pretend to anything =)

The essence

On Habré topics are minus for some reason:

1. The reader is just in a bad mood.
2. The reader does not understand what the author is writing about, and therefore puts a minus (because the author kakbe indicated to the reader that he has not yet reached such articles)
3. The reader programs in one programming language, and the article provides examples in another.
4. The article was not hidden "under the cat", and the reader expresses his "fi" with his minus
5. The topic is a podcast that the reader hates.
6. The topic is not a podcast, and the user minus everything that is not a podcast

Bad mood reader

If the reader has a bad mood - he needs to be raised, and even before he reads the article.
An example of how this can be done is given at the top. Quotes of ancient philosophers, great people, or clippings of beautiful songs are welcome (but, do not forget, are given in the subject!)

The reader feels superfluous

So that the reader does not feel superfluous, the topic needs to be written in words that even the housewife can understand, with detailed pictures, screenshots, and so on.
Is it difficult for you to explain the programming of the PIC16cx controller at the housewife level? And who said that writing is easy?

Tower of Babel

I think everyone knows what the Tower of Babel is. She was a stumbling block many centuries ago, has become now. To erase all borders between developers in different languages, you need all the code examples, descriptions, etc. lead in all possible programming languages. Think it's hard? And who said that writing is easy?
')

"Under the cut!"

The times of narrow channels, and the MBP payment already passed, but the habits remained. I do not want to see one topic that occupies half a page. So try not to forget. Here without humor.

Podcasts - decisive and formidable no!

If you recorded a podcast - rewrite all the text in a topic (this is a joke, of course =), some still prefer to read rather than listen to the text.

No text!

If you wrote a lengthy article (and if you followed the text, the article should have been very big), record the podcast. As I wrote above, only a few prefer to read, others like to listen.

Conclusion

This is just a small list of reasons; in fact, there are many more. By the way, clever thoughts and beautiful design are the key to success =)