Fruitful Communication Guide
Not so long ago on Habré there was news about the adoption of the "Guide to good communication of GNU". Much of this code is correct, but many points, in my opinion, do not fully correspond to the spirit of teamwork and impair the rights of participants.
Let's try, as part of a Friday evening, to formulate our “Guide to fruitful communication when working together.” As you see, the difference with the GNU leadership begins even at the goal setting stage - in my opinion, the pleasantness of communication within the project is not an end in itself. Within the framework of the project we communicate in order to achieve a specific goal - to carry out the work on the project. Nice to talk, we will be for tea with bread.
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This does not mean that communication within the project will definitely be unpleasant. This is a question of priorities - if, to work on a project, there is a choice between pleasant communication for all and imposing some unpleasant restrictions for the sake of work efficiency, the priority will be given to the latter.
Why? By definition. I repeat: the main goal is effective work on the project. Communication is a tool that serves to achieve this goal. Not the other way around.
Disclaimer:
The list of items published by me reflects my personal opinion and is based on my life priorities. If you have a different opinion from me - feel free to correct me by offering your options.
Not all items are equally serious - after all, we have a Friday night, right?
So:
- All people are equal. Injustice and deprivation of the rights of people because of their belonging to a particular social group, race, religion, gender, and gender self-determination is prohibited.
- Positive discrimination is also discrimination and is unacceptable in any form. Equal rights create equal responsibilities.
- Your gender, your sexual orientation, your skin color and nationality are your own business. Do not attempt to use this as an argument in a dispute or a basis for obtaining preferences or a reason for discrimination.
- Racial, ethnic and gender diversity is welcomed, because the difference in culture, experience, approach to solving problems improves the final result of the project through evolutionary mechanisms, allowing you to choose the best solutions from the larger number of proposed options.
- At the same time - diversity is a tool for working on a project, and not an end in itself. If, in order to work with a person or a social group, you have to pervert the goals of the project, then it would be correct to suggest that the project should change, not the project.
- Insults. When working on a project, we use positive and negative reinforcement. Conventional "Gingerbread" and "Whip". Positive reinforcement, in addition to purely material incentives, is praise. In this case, in some cases there is a need for negative reinforcement. It is psychologically difficult to praise a colleague for performing routine work without errors, so the reaction occurs only in case of errors. If you have done something wrong, it will be appropriate to scold you - to cause negative emotions and avoid fixing the wrong behavior.
- Insult is a tool. Accordingly, it should be used wisely and as intended. A team member who uses such a dangerous tool as an insult to the right and left for no reason or a disproportionately happened will be given a warning.
- Going to the person in insults is not welcome. This is permissible, as a last resort, in an emergency, but the use of this technique speaks of the loss of face by both participants - and those who have been insulted and those who have offended. We will try not to bring this up.
- If our project somehow bothers you, offends your feelings, your understanding of the beautiful, your religious beliefs, etc. the first thing we want to tell you: We are completely on your side. We treat your opinion with understanding and will not in any way prevent you from feeling offended in the future. To insult and be displeased is the inalienable right of every person.
- If, besides aspirations, you want our project to change and stop insulting your feelings, we suggest telling us why our project offends you or prevents you. We are not villains, and we can fully agree with your arguments. The pizza you bought will help us make sure that you are serious and will add value to your arguments.
- Your personal life is not a subject of discussion. We will refrain from assessing the professional qualities of people based on the facts of their personal lives, their political and religious views, as well as their opinions on matters not related to the work on our project.
- No one should be punished again for the crime committed. Based on this rule, we will not replace the court and the system of execution of sentences. If the law enforcement agencies have no complaints about the person, then we have none the more. If there are complaints, then this does not concern us either - since everyone is engaged in his own business: we are implementing the project, they protect the rule of law.
- The right to anonymity. When working on a project, we will, where possible, respect your rights - including the right to anonymity. We will not make an effort to establish your real identity.
- There may be situations where work on a project will require a waiver of the anonymity of the participants. In this case, you will be notified in advance and will have the opportunity to exit the project. The remaining participants, when identified, after your departure, the data contributing to your Possible De-Ionimization will delete them without reading.
- Not all yogurts are equally beneficial. Remember that working with you on the same team is our right, not an obligation. Departure from the values of the project can lead to the impossibility of our joint activities. However, the reason for the refusal to cooperate may be insufficient qualifications or negligence in working together. In any case, we will try to remain friends and you will always remain in the history of the project.
- Appeal to the project staff - given at the mercy of the project staff. This means that we are not interested in who and how to whom he refers. If you want to be contacted using a different form than the generally accepted one, make more friends who will gladly fulfill such an important request for you and treat people condescendingly that you ignore it - this is also their right. Therefore, the following two points are more wishes than instructions.
- In Russia, we are used to addressing people according to their visible sex. Attempts to introduce gender-neutral forms of speech in the Russian language are not advisable, since gender-neutral language forms have negative connotations: “It rubs ointment into the skin when told to it”.
- Contacting you, when communicating within the project, is honored by the acting monarchs, Siamese twins and representatives of the hive forms of non-human life.
- We will not discuss and consider evidence - obtained by illegal means - from private correspondence, hacking accounts and other things.
- We do not aim with a hand, He who aims with a hand, forgot the face of his father. We aim with the eye. We do not shoot with a hand, He who shoots with a hand forgot the face of his father. We shoot the mind. We do not kill with a weapon, He who kills with a weapon forgot the face of his father. We kill with our heart. PS: Weapons after firing should be cleaned, preferably immediately.
- Manipulating a sense of guilt is unacceptable. If you are blamed for the actions of your compatriots, people of the same sex or skin color, you are being manipulated. Avoid such conversations.
- We are out of politics. This does not mean, alas, that you will not be denied work on a project if you belong to a number of political or religious movements. We are out of politics, but we expect from colleagues to work together under the project that we share some basic ideals. Membership in a number of political parties and religious groups is not your private affair, simply because these parties and religious trends destroy the rights and freedoms of other people. Choose what is more important to you. This is a necessary and exceptional measure. Please use it only in cases where options for peaceful cooperation are fundamentally impossible.
Scene after captions:
Of course, it would be nice to get answers from the camp, which holds the opposite point of view, as part of this discussion. Intelligible answers, not something in style:
“I need your clothes, boots, and motorcycle.”
- Why?
- It is necessary.
But, based on the experience of previous discussions, I assume that the probability of this is very small. We seem to speak different languages. Those arguments and arguments that I cite and which I consider absolutely logical and irrefutable, were dismissed as irrelevant. At the same time, in return, I received a riverine - an emotionally colored text that does not contain logical premises and conclusions.
I thought about it for a long time and came to the conclusion that this is because our thinking is very different. Having somewhat expanded the meaning of the old terms, one can say that people are divided into two groups - physicists and lyricists.
Let me explain with an example: I have a friend, known to me by the name of Viscount, with whom I can not agree. I am a physicist, Viscount is a lyricist, and using his example I will explain the difference.
My imaginary model of the world is physical. When I talk about something, I kind of do the simulation of the process in my head. Solving the problem - how many pieces will there be, when we cut an apple with a knife in half, I imagine both an apple and a knife and see the number of pieces. My imaginary world is a simplified copy of our real world. It is clear why - no brain in the world can cope with the full simulation of reality. Of course, I do not carry out these calculations consciously - I have been doing this all my life, so for me it’s as usual as breathing.
Viscount's Model World - Book. A monstrously complicated book, rather even a database, where every event, phenomenon, person is assigned a label with a description. Simple things have simple descriptions. Complicated things are tangled, with many meanings. Also, these labels are multi-colored - they are painted with emotions. The bulk - knowledge - neutral, white. There is black - this is unreliable information from bad, unpleasant people. There are bright - it is verified information from people with a confirmed high status.
The difference in approaches is enormous. Viscount, planning his actions, is based not on the physical, but on the hypertext model of the world. He seems to be living not in the real world, but in the world invented by someone. In his imaginary universe - the feather is stronger than the sword. The description of the thing, the label that it stores in its database is more important than what its eyes see.
The main disadvantage of the Viscount model is not even that it was invented by other people. The main disadvantage is that it is inconsistent. Everything is possible in books. In the world of the Viscount too. The number of pieces from cutting the apple in half can be any number. Three, six, eight - as many as the pieces turned out when the apple was cut by the Guru. (A person with a high status for the Viscount) True, the Guru made not one cut, but several - but since this is not indicated in the book, the Viscount does not know about it. But it will stand its ground - including because all my arguments are obviously not reliable, since they come from a bad person.
Now you understand why we can not agree? Yes, we are more different than people and scarecrow-eyed monsters! (Just because the creatures of the bug-eyed monsters came up with authors with the same physical picture of the world as mine). Keep this in mind during the dialogue.
“I need your clothes, boots, and motorcycle.”
- Why?
- It is necessary.
But, based on the experience of previous discussions, I assume that the probability of this is very small. We seem to speak different languages. Those arguments and arguments that I cite and which I consider absolutely logical and irrefutable, were dismissed as irrelevant. At the same time, in return, I received a riverine - an emotionally colored text that does not contain logical premises and conclusions.
I thought about it for a long time and came to the conclusion that this is because our thinking is very different. Having somewhat expanded the meaning of the old terms, one can say that people are divided into two groups - physicists and lyricists.
Let me explain with an example: I have a friend, known to me by the name of Viscount, with whom I can not agree. I am a physicist, Viscount is a lyricist, and using his example I will explain the difference.
My imaginary model of the world is physical. When I talk about something, I kind of do the simulation of the process in my head. Solving the problem - how many pieces will there be, when we cut an apple with a knife in half, I imagine both an apple and a knife and see the number of pieces. My imaginary world is a simplified copy of our real world. It is clear why - no brain in the world can cope with the full simulation of reality. Of course, I do not carry out these calculations consciously - I have been doing this all my life, so for me it’s as usual as breathing.
Viscount's Model World - Book. A monstrously complicated book, rather even a database, where every event, phenomenon, person is assigned a label with a description. Simple things have simple descriptions. Complicated things are tangled, with many meanings. Also, these labels are multi-colored - they are painted with emotions. The bulk - knowledge - neutral, white. There is black - this is unreliable information from bad, unpleasant people. There are bright - it is verified information from people with a confirmed high status.
The difference in approaches is enormous. Viscount, planning his actions, is based not on the physical, but on the hypertext model of the world. He seems to be living not in the real world, but in the world invented by someone. In his imaginary universe - the feather is stronger than the sword. The description of the thing, the label that it stores in its database is more important than what its eyes see.
The main disadvantage of the Viscount model is not even that it was invented by other people. The main disadvantage is that it is inconsistent. Everything is possible in books. In the world of the Viscount too. The number of pieces from cutting the apple in half can be any number. Three, six, eight - as many as the pieces turned out when the apple was cut by the Guru. (A person with a high status for the Viscount) True, the Guru made not one cut, but several - but since this is not indicated in the book, the Viscount does not know about it. But it will stand its ground - including because all my arguments are obviously not reliable, since they come from a bad person.
Now you understand why we can not agree? Yes, we are more different than people and scarecrow-eyed monsters! (Just because the creatures of the bug-eyed monsters came up with authors with the same physical picture of the world as mine). Keep this in mind during the dialogue.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/428580/
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