Weighted solution
Stepan Trofimovich, the chairman of the technological commission of our bank, frowned and said weightily:
- We must make an informed decision on your question, Andrei Viktorovich.
The meeting of the technology commission was already past two o'clock, and I languished. I have never attended these meetings before, for, praise the regulations, I was not a member of the commission, but today she had to decide on the purchase of some software called Ergosoft for the needs of my department, and I decided to attend personally at this historic event ... What is now bitterly sorry.
The meeting was dominated by representatives of the management of information technology. During the first twenty minutes, the head of the marketing department gave a report on the profile software market. I learned a lot from this report. For example, what are the platforms on the basis of which the corresponding software products are developed? Or what are the system requirements for computers expose those or other software manufacturers. And even about what Bill Gates said recently about some sort of data encryption standard. Despite the cognitive value of the report, I, however, had a suspicion that for some reason the management of information technology really does not want to buy and implement the program I need.
')
The head of the marketing department was replaced by the head of the planning and prospective development department. In the next twenty minutes I learned from him that the management of information technology does not have the necessary number of specialists on the appropriate platform, the necessary set of certificates for the relevant standards and the necessary fleet of computers that meet the relevant system requirements. I was increasingly entrenched in the opinion that the management of information technology definitely does not want to buy what I need, and carefully justifies the refusal to purchase Ergosoft ...
On the third dvadtsatiminutku left the head of information technology. He dispelled my last doubts when he began to earnestly describe the advantages of some alternative program called PPF, which, it turns out, is cheaper, and on the right platform, and with the right standards, and with very modest system requirements ... He spoke so inspired, that it was tempting for me to add that, probably, the main advantage of PPF is the supplier that is needed by the company, who is personally like the head of the information technology department. But I did not say that. I do not like to spoil people inspiration. Besides, I was wondering how this would end. Apparently, I ran into insidious sabotage and provocation ...
Finally, Stepan Trofimovich himself took the floor, sluggish, authoritative and thorough.
“Let's summarize, dear colleagues,” he said solidly in his deep voice. - Andrey Viktorovich Gardezi submitted an application to our commission for the purchase and implementation of the Ergosoft system. A market survey was conducted. We evaluated our technical capabilities. Alternative options were considered. I propose to proceed to the debate. Please speak out.
Next came the discussion. Experience prompted me: if I got involved in a provocation, then either shut up or talk everyone. In matters of software, I wasn’t able to cope with techies, so I chose the tact of maximum brevity.
Question. Andrei Viktorovich, well, why do you need Ergosoft?
Answer. It suits us.
Question. After all, "Ergosoft" - not the best option, is not it?
Answer. From our point of view - the most optimal.
Question. But you did not conduct a full-fledged marketing research of the market?
Answer. These studies are your work, not ours. But we know exactly what we need.
Question. Although alternative programs do not provide all the functions you need, but they are cheaper and faster to implement, doesn't it matter?
Answer. And I'm not interested, faster or slower. Just quickly implement what I ask. And by the way, my department pays, not yours ...
Question. Are you sure you will pay back such software costs?
Answer. If you give me some shit, I'm not sure.
Question. Why is it shit? You have not yet realized all the advantages of "PPF" ...
I do not know how much these altercations would have lasted, but in the midst of the discussion the meeting of the commission was unexpectedly visited by the president of our bank.
- Stepan Trofimovich! - He announced from the doorway. - Gardezi, it turns out, you ... I urgently need it.
Stepan Trofimovich stretched out on a string and reported:
- We are considering Gardezi’s application for the purchase of software ...
- Why so long? - with displeasure the president inquired, sitting down at the table next to me.
The Information Technology Directorate immediately used the moment for a detailed and colorful story about how my department is going to throw the six-figure sum of conventional units into the wind, while the modern software market offers such impeccable products as, for example, some kind of “PPF” ... Stepan Trofimovich nodded approvingly. The President, looking at him, also began to nod sympathetically. If I began to nod, a rare harmony would come in the meeting room. But I, of course, ruined everything.
“That your PPF is crap,” I said.
“What the hell are you all doing, shit and shit,” grumbled the head of the information technology department.
“PPF doesn’t know how to handle real-time futures transactions,” I explained. - A "Ergosoft" can. Moreover, for each client, according to the “on-line” quotes, the position on futures contracts is calculated ...
“Come on, Andrei Viktorovich,” said Stepan Trofimovich with an irritated wave of his hand. - This is nonsense! Who needs these futures of yours?
I managed only to grin back, and a second later the president stood up and said sternly:
- I propose to satisfy the request of Gardezi. And implement it in the shortest possible time. I hope the technology commission will take into account my opinion, Stepan Trofimovich?
Stepan Trofimovich opened and closed his mouth in the ensuing silence, and then only nodded silently. The president nodded back. Now and I found it appropriate to leave willingly.
“Andrei Viktorovich, I need you,” the president threw me, heading for the exit. - We have talks in two minutes, we need to have time to discuss something ...
Hurrying after the president, I experienced a kind of sympathy for Stepan Trofimovich and his wards from the management of information technology. Indeed, how could they know that “futures fun” was not at all nonsense, and recently some very important people have become addicted to this fun? Probably, it was difficult for Stepan Trofimovich to guess that these VIP clients would be very happy to use the facilities of Ergosoft. And, of course, it would have never occurred to him that one of the first client terminals of Ergosoft would be a computer in the president's office ...
With all its flaws, the president of our bank sometimes knows how to make informed decisions right off the bat. There would be an incentive.
(c) from the book of Bank secrecy by Shen Bekasov
- We must make an informed decision on your question, Andrei Viktorovich.
The meeting of the technology commission was already past two o'clock, and I languished. I have never attended these meetings before, for, praise the regulations, I was not a member of the commission, but today she had to decide on the purchase of some software called Ergosoft for the needs of my department, and I decided to attend personally at this historic event ... What is now bitterly sorry.
The meeting was dominated by representatives of the management of information technology. During the first twenty minutes, the head of the marketing department gave a report on the profile software market. I learned a lot from this report. For example, what are the platforms on the basis of which the corresponding software products are developed? Or what are the system requirements for computers expose those or other software manufacturers. And even about what Bill Gates said recently about some sort of data encryption standard. Despite the cognitive value of the report, I, however, had a suspicion that for some reason the management of information technology really does not want to buy and implement the program I need.
')
The head of the marketing department was replaced by the head of the planning and prospective development department. In the next twenty minutes I learned from him that the management of information technology does not have the necessary number of specialists on the appropriate platform, the necessary set of certificates for the relevant standards and the necessary fleet of computers that meet the relevant system requirements. I was increasingly entrenched in the opinion that the management of information technology definitely does not want to buy what I need, and carefully justifies the refusal to purchase Ergosoft ...
On the third dvadtsatiminutku left the head of information technology. He dispelled my last doubts when he began to earnestly describe the advantages of some alternative program called PPF, which, it turns out, is cheaper, and on the right platform, and with the right standards, and with very modest system requirements ... He spoke so inspired, that it was tempting for me to add that, probably, the main advantage of PPF is the supplier that is needed by the company, who is personally like the head of the information technology department. But I did not say that. I do not like to spoil people inspiration. Besides, I was wondering how this would end. Apparently, I ran into insidious sabotage and provocation ...
Finally, Stepan Trofimovich himself took the floor, sluggish, authoritative and thorough.
“Let's summarize, dear colleagues,” he said solidly in his deep voice. - Andrey Viktorovich Gardezi submitted an application to our commission for the purchase and implementation of the Ergosoft system. A market survey was conducted. We evaluated our technical capabilities. Alternative options were considered. I propose to proceed to the debate. Please speak out.
Next came the discussion. Experience prompted me: if I got involved in a provocation, then either shut up or talk everyone. In matters of software, I wasn’t able to cope with techies, so I chose the tact of maximum brevity.
Question. Andrei Viktorovich, well, why do you need Ergosoft?
Answer. It suits us.
Question. After all, "Ergosoft" - not the best option, is not it?
Answer. From our point of view - the most optimal.
Question. But you did not conduct a full-fledged marketing research of the market?
Answer. These studies are your work, not ours. But we know exactly what we need.
Question. Although alternative programs do not provide all the functions you need, but they are cheaper and faster to implement, doesn't it matter?
Answer. And I'm not interested, faster or slower. Just quickly implement what I ask. And by the way, my department pays, not yours ...
Question. Are you sure you will pay back such software costs?
Answer. If you give me some shit, I'm not sure.
Question. Why is it shit? You have not yet realized all the advantages of "PPF" ...
I do not know how much these altercations would have lasted, but in the midst of the discussion the meeting of the commission was unexpectedly visited by the president of our bank.
- Stepan Trofimovich! - He announced from the doorway. - Gardezi, it turns out, you ... I urgently need it.
Stepan Trofimovich stretched out on a string and reported:
- We are considering Gardezi’s application for the purchase of software ...
- Why so long? - with displeasure the president inquired, sitting down at the table next to me.
The Information Technology Directorate immediately used the moment for a detailed and colorful story about how my department is going to throw the six-figure sum of conventional units into the wind, while the modern software market offers such impeccable products as, for example, some kind of “PPF” ... Stepan Trofimovich nodded approvingly. The President, looking at him, also began to nod sympathetically. If I began to nod, a rare harmony would come in the meeting room. But I, of course, ruined everything.
“That your PPF is crap,” I said.
“What the hell are you all doing, shit and shit,” grumbled the head of the information technology department.
“PPF doesn’t know how to handle real-time futures transactions,” I explained. - A "Ergosoft" can. Moreover, for each client, according to the “on-line” quotes, the position on futures contracts is calculated ...
“Come on, Andrei Viktorovich,” said Stepan Trofimovich with an irritated wave of his hand. - This is nonsense! Who needs these futures of yours?
I managed only to grin back, and a second later the president stood up and said sternly:
- I propose to satisfy the request of Gardezi. And implement it in the shortest possible time. I hope the technology commission will take into account my opinion, Stepan Trofimovich?
Stepan Trofimovich opened and closed his mouth in the ensuing silence, and then only nodded silently. The president nodded back. Now and I found it appropriate to leave willingly.
“Andrei Viktorovich, I need you,” the president threw me, heading for the exit. - We have talks in two minutes, we need to have time to discuss something ...
Hurrying after the president, I experienced a kind of sympathy for Stepan Trofimovich and his wards from the management of information technology. Indeed, how could they know that “futures fun” was not at all nonsense, and recently some very important people have become addicted to this fun? Probably, it was difficult for Stepan Trofimovich to guess that these VIP clients would be very happy to use the facilities of Ergosoft. And, of course, it would have never occurred to him that one of the first client terminals of Ergosoft would be a computer in the president's office ...
With all its flaws, the president of our bank sometimes knows how to make informed decisions right off the bat. There would be an incentive.
(c) from the book of Bank secrecy by Shen Bekasov
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/42010/
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