How to fill the project guaranteed

Here I came across an interesting little article ... A kind of bad advice on project management.

Achieve goals by any means

All control points of the project must be perfectly observed - regardless of the quality of the product being created and the quality of management. The main thing - to put the product on time at any cost, even if it is necessary to dismiss all idlers who do not want to work at night.

Forget about a good plan - this is for wimps

You do not need all these business consultants and system architects who are wasting budget money. Your ideas are so good in themselves that their implementation will not meet any problems. In addition, investors are not very fond of paying bills for design work and the preparation of specifications. You are the only indispensable employee who will allow the company to save on such stupid accounts.
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Push your team

The secret of how to meet the deadlines and budget is to make the team work with all their might. To sleep at night is unworthy for your employees, and it is much cheaper to buy more coffee than to hire new specialists. If successful, take away all the laurels, in case of failure, blame the team for all the troubles. Make the main slogan of your unit “Work, Work and Work!”. If someone falls from fatigue, tie him to a chair.

Since you only have a holistic vision and understanding of the entire project, explain to each employee what he should do and how. For example, specify web designers, what color should be the pages of the site and what size font. And do not forget to fine programmers for errors in the code.

Remember - communication in the project is necessary for losers

Personnel must act under strict submission. The best analogue is army relations. If someone persistently asks for clarification of incomprehensible orders, select the person who will prepare, in response to a request, hundreds of kilobytes of text. But the purpose of such a document is not to clarify the problem; his goal is to resist the attempts on your one and only correct understanding of the project. Leader knows best.

But, of course, general meetings for the project are necessary. They are best done four or five times a day. But do not forget that the agenda is a waste of time. Just gather people and ask what they want to talk about. Any random topics are allowed. If, however, your leadership will be questioned, immediately proceed to aggressive defense and accuse the speaker with such an opinion of narrow views and non-constructive thinking.

Remember the Big Bang Act

Classical wisdom says that in the world of the new economy, the one who first entered the market gains huge competitive advantages. Therefore, you cannot waste time and resources on pilot implementations and iterative cycles. Just as the Universe was born of the Big Bang, the project should also be born as a result of one Big Step. Make your subordinates produce specific results (more source code and tables in the databases), and do not care about how it will look like what they do from the outside. You can always fix problems later (see rule 2). The main thing - to continuously produce results on the mountain.

Rely on common sense

Thinking about getting an education in project management? Nonsense! You don't need all this nonsense like Gantt charts and cost analysis. All you need is common sense, good instincts and more luck. What is required to implement a critical corporate-scale project? Recruit smart employees who can plow for 20 hours a day, and have the patience to wait for the results of their work.

Listen to your customers

As stated by the rules of the new economy, we must strive for the fullest possible satisfaction of the demands of your customers, no matter how stupid the question is and how much it will delay your project. Does the client want the program to support GAAP in addition to supporting Russian accounting? Sure, no problem. All that is required of you is to redistribute resources, rearrange people between tasks and even more strongly press your team to be sure that everything you can get out of it. And after that, push even harder.

A source

UPD: I decided to zakopipastit, because the text is very much in the subject, in my opinion ...