How to actually write software in 2016
For many years, software companies have hidden this from us. Read soon, not yet removed, and distribute as widely as possible.
Do you still think that huge corporations have a large staff of developers who write their code with their hands? Naively. It is 2016, and the rules have changed completely. Now monstrous computing powers are easily accessible, about which 10 years ago it was impossible even to give a hint. Your phone is more powerful than the computing modules that were put on the spacecraft. And human time is terribly expensive - especially the time of qualified programmers, who, like bees, allegedly filled the offices of technology giants.
I do not know who started it first, but it was an elegant and logical move - in all its insane clumsiness. If we can generate a random software code on a regular user computer and check it in hundreds of kilobytes thousands of times per second, then just imagine that mainframes, cluster systems, and even systems built on video cards that have tremendous performance on parallel computing can. What do you think - why do we need a staff of hundreds of technical writers who verify technical specifications and lick to the last character so that even a woodcutter from the woods who has never seen a computer can be understood? Perhaps you have already made the only logical conclusion. These technical tasks as input and output parameters are fed to huge random code generators, which in a matter of hours or even seconds give out a ready-made software product, which living people would have spent years living to write.
')
Do you feel a bell in your head? Everything abruptly fell into place! For example, the performance of modern programs that require a bunch of disk space, memory and CPU time. Of course - because the code is random and absolutely not optimal! While you are doing your job, the program can do the computation of the absolute value of pi, paving the sky, talking in chat rooms, or simply hanging on in hundreds of endless cycles. No one knows what is really happening there - but nobody cares, because the program performs the task!
Everything became clear. Policies prohibiting the disclosure of application code. The scope and requirements of applications. Glitches and freezes. Vulnerabilities. Strange, incomprehensible or one-character variable names in the code. The difficulty of supporting legacy code. Even typos are simply randomly generated errors that crept into a not precisely defined technical task!
The conspiracy level is terrifying. However, not everyone knows what they take part in. Even special concepts and methodologies have been created to show that random code is in the order of things. How else could the concept of TDD come to mind when first tests are written, and then the code itself? Why else hundreds of frameworks and automated testing tools? Everything - in order to cover up that there are no more developers in the company.
Some few years, and the problem will reach a qualitatively new level with the advent of quantum computers, the computational power of which is simply immense for the human mind. After that, any problem will be solved by a random code generator. And no - do not think that I am afraid for my profession. I am afraid that once the bones of chance so hit the table of probabilities that a simple text editor as a side function will be able to infiltrate the control centers of nuclear weapons and create a real apocalypse.
Remember this. Spread it. Humanity must know the real threat that has arisen over it - a merciless and ruthless mutant from the symbiosis of technology and greed. I do not know how much this post hangs. Last week we had a huge droning wardrobe in our office. The director said that this is a bitcoin miner, but why is he here for us? And this week there were already rumors about a reduction in the development department ... Perhaps you will not hear about me anymore.
PS Today is Friday, and this Friday format post, but this joke is a reason to reflect on the quality of what we are doing. Because very often I spend the whole day in the Pose of the Thinker - only a hand covers my face in a distorted facepalm. Sometimes I can explain some things only with a random code generator or a state of severe drug addiction. Guys, let's write code that is qualitatively better than a random byte sequence! By the way, heh, the miner is really worth it.
PPS I will answer comments later, here some people came, probably partners. N / A
Do you still think that huge corporations have a large staff of developers who write their code with their hands? Naively. It is 2016, and the rules have changed completely. Now monstrous computing powers are easily accessible, about which 10 years ago it was impossible even to give a hint. Your phone is more powerful than the computing modules that were put on the spacecraft. And human time is terribly expensive - especially the time of qualified programmers, who, like bees, allegedly filled the offices of technology giants.
I do not know who started it first, but it was an elegant and logical move - in all its insane clumsiness. If we can generate a random software code on a regular user computer and check it in hundreds of kilobytes thousands of times per second, then just imagine that mainframes, cluster systems, and even systems built on video cards that have tremendous performance on parallel computing can. What do you think - why do we need a staff of hundreds of technical writers who verify technical specifications and lick to the last character so that even a woodcutter from the woods who has never seen a computer can be understood? Perhaps you have already made the only logical conclusion. These technical tasks as input and output parameters are fed to huge random code generators, which in a matter of hours or even seconds give out a ready-made software product, which living people would have spent years living to write.
')
Do you feel a bell in your head? Everything abruptly fell into place! For example, the performance of modern programs that require a bunch of disk space, memory and CPU time. Of course - because the code is random and absolutely not optimal! While you are doing your job, the program can do the computation of the absolute value of pi, paving the sky, talking in chat rooms, or simply hanging on in hundreds of endless cycles. No one knows what is really happening there - but nobody cares, because the program performs the task!
Everything became clear. Policies prohibiting the disclosure of application code. The scope and requirements of applications. Glitches and freezes. Vulnerabilities. Strange, incomprehensible or one-character variable names in the code. The difficulty of supporting legacy code. Even typos are simply randomly generated errors that crept into a not precisely defined technical task!
The conspiracy level is terrifying. However, not everyone knows what they take part in. Even special concepts and methodologies have been created to show that random code is in the order of things. How else could the concept of TDD come to mind when first tests are written, and then the code itself? Why else hundreds of frameworks and automated testing tools? Everything - in order to cover up that there are no more developers in the company.
Some few years, and the problem will reach a qualitatively new level with the advent of quantum computers, the computational power of which is simply immense for the human mind. After that, any problem will be solved by a random code generator. And no - do not think that I am afraid for my profession. I am afraid that once the bones of chance so hit the table of probabilities that a simple text editor as a side function will be able to infiltrate the control centers of nuclear weapons and create a real apocalypse.
Remember this. Spread it. Humanity must know the real threat that has arisen over it - a merciless and ruthless mutant from the symbiosis of technology and greed. I do not know how much this post hangs. Last week we had a huge droning wardrobe in our office. The director said that this is a bitcoin miner, but why is he here for us? And this week there were already rumors about a reduction in the development department ... Perhaps you will not hear about me anymore.
PS Today is Friday, and this Friday format post, but this joke is a reason to reflect on the quality of what we are doing. Because very often I spend the whole day in the Pose of the Thinker - only a hand covers my face in a distorted facepalm. Sometimes I can explain some things only with a random code generator or a state of severe drug addiction. Guys, let's write code that is qualitatively better than a random byte sequence! By the way, heh, the miner is really worth it.
PPS I will answer comments later, here some people came, probably partners. N / A
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/399747/
All Articles