Psychologists: a lie about Santa Claus undermines the relationship between parents and children

Warning: the article discusses the existence of Santa Claus, so remove the children from the screens if they believe in it.

Millions of parents say to their children that Santa Claus, Papa Noel, etc. brings gifts for the New Year (Christmas). That is a fabulous kind person whose main duty is to give presents to everyone once a year. According to psychologists Christopher Boyle and Katie McKay, this lie, although seemingly harmless, is probably harmful to children's health.

Researchers also say that by telling their children about Santa Claus to their children, parents arrange their own “trip to childhood”. The results of their work, scientists have published in the medical publication Lancet Psychiatry . The main conclusion of the work is ambiguous: psychologists believe that because of New Year's lies, children may not fully trust their parents in other matters.

“If parents can tell lies with respect to such dear things as New Year, can parents be an example of truth and wisdom for their children?” The researchers ask. The authors also claim that the idea of ​​the existence of a certain “gift factory” and the house of Santa Claus at the North Pole is being discussed with children from a very early age. In this case, the children may ask themselves whether they can trust their parents regarding other important things, which they tell no less confidently than about the New Year's grandfather.
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Researchers are trying to understand the consequences of the parents' many years of lying to their children - consequences that no one has ever studied.

At the same time, psychologists say that some things that parents tell their children, and which are not true, can be a boon. “For example, an adult tells his child that a recently lost pet goes to some other place (heaven) where it is easy and comfortable for the pet,” writes one of the authors of the study. In his opinion, the stories of this type are incomparably better than the truth when an adult tells the child the truth about death, then describing the cycle of the carbon cycle in nature.

“Children always know that their parents constantly told them lies, and this went on for many years. Children can learn about it from someone, or their parents themselves reveal the truth, or make a mistake in their stories about the good fairy grandfather. All this can reduce the level of trust between the child and the parents, ”the study says.

McKay, who teaches at the University of New England, says that the popularity of Harry Potter, Star Wars and Doctor Who shows a person’s desire to be a little child.

“Many adults want to come back at a time when their imagination and dreams played an important role in life and were encouraged by their own parents,” McKay writes. He believes that the vicissitudes of fate can lead to the fact that adults in their dreams are trying to build a world of dreams for themselves, something that can be trusted, distracting from the harsh reality.

Not all scientists agree with these conclusions. Some experts are confident that the disclosure of the truth about who actually brings gifts has a positive effect on the child. Namely, it awakens healthy skepticism in other fairy tales in children, and the former children retain a realistic view of things as they become adults.

Another thing is when parents begin to use the New Year or Christmas as an educational tool. Some adults tell children that Santa Claus (or any other fairy creature) brings gifts only to those who have behaved well during the year. When a child behaves badly, he is told that Santa Claus may not bring a gift after learning about the whims of the baby. So do not.



“This method demonstrates to the child that he cannot hide from the stern gaze of the North Pole’s special services,” McKay writes. In his opinion, such a lie with a high degree of probability can have a negative impact on the psyche of the child. And who among adults can say that he always behaved well in childhood?

The problem itself, to believe in Santa Claus or not, is difficult. On the one hand, faith in him helps the child to develop a fantasy. On the other hand, a child may be deeply disappointed if he learns that there is no fairy tale. It is one thing when a more or less adult child himself comes to the conclusion that Santa Claus does not exist. And another thing is when an accident opens the eyes of a child.

The most interesting thing is that Kathy McKay has a three-year-old daughter who believes in Santa Claus. And the child never talked with his mother about this character. So far, the author of the work in question has not said anything to his own child about Santa, but he will definitely tell that he really doesn’t exist if his daughter talks about it. The second author of the study, Chris Boyle, does not plan to broadcast on every corner that there is no Santa. In fact, he is more interested in scientific work and its possible application to real life.

Boyle also strongly opposes the use of Santa Claus and this whole Christmas myth in discipline issues, as mentioned above. This point of view is supported by other specialists, asserting that problems in the child’s behavior need to be corrected in other ways, and not to spoil the child’s expectation of the holiday.