How to find out what you really want?

In fact, there is no one "case." And there really is no such thing as “really” either. In general, none of this is there. But this is me for the wit. It was necessary to start somewhere. So I cleared the space for the following words and sentences. And now we understand the nature of their own desires.

Any desire has several characteristics:
• this desire comes from somewhere
• it belongs to someone
• somehow experienced by someone
• the realization of desire leads to some consequences for its owner, and in some cases for other people

About who wishes?
I, he. She ... Someone else ...
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You can even poke a finger into this creature in order to identify who we are talking about specifically. For example, proudly say “this is what I want” and poke a finger at himself. But that's bad luck - depending on where I'm going with this finger and how hard I stick, the degree of the presence of desire can change. So desire can be very strong, and can be completely absent. Although, it is not that this is a “bad luck”. Rather, on the contrary, this is precisely the task that we are talking about.

It is me who so plainly explains that different parts of me may have a different vision of whether I want something or not. Because "I" are different. This is a given. After all, "I", as a person, in fact, is a generalization. This and all possible states. And a variety of values. And important life principles. And your body ...

Note that the question "how to find out what you really want" does not arise if it is a clear and indisputable desire. But doubt in the existing desire is a sure sign that desire is not total. From this we will dance. If you have too many mutually exclusive desires, then, as a rule, you stand still. There is no time for dancing. And then you have two options.

• You can come to the very inner state when your inner debaters dancers reach a compromise and help you accomplish what you want by performing a pair and harmonious dance.
• And you can switch to something else - indisputable and unambiguous, completely dropping controversial desires like ballast.

Also, keep in mind that every delayed desire takes a part of your life energy. All that we have put off for later, somehow or other, takes a bit of your attention. After all, something inside you is waiting for when this “later” comes. It sits and dreams. And when they do not give him this, he begins to worry. Here are all these fussing and doubtful desires, flickering in the background, and create the noise that prevents us from seeing true desires.

Let's start with the completion of an incomplete and unequivocal rejection of what you are sure about that you can refuse from it. Such sorting is worth exposing everything. And thousands of deferred books you want to read. And a list of hundreds of countries that you want to visit. And the desire to learn to play at the same time on the drum, saxophone, piano and sitar ... Face the truth - you will not have time to do everything, everything in this life.

Internal noise reduction
We begin by creating a database of our goals. Whether it is buying a new bag or learning Japanese. This database can be a regular sheet of paper. And some specialized computer programs can be used. It is important that all your desires be collected and recorded in a single place.

In no case should this problem be solved speculatively. Take it out on paper. Moreover, it is important that there are at least 3-4 dozen of your desires on paper. Otherwise, they will continue to spin in your head. After all, we start by closing the "tails".

The first question to attend to is the question - do you really want to implement each of the items written on paper? If definitely not (that is, the execution of this particular desire does not lead to anything that is valuable to you directly or indirectly), then delete this desire from your list and from your life. Make it fat. It will be a worthy first step. It will reduce the noise in your head, and you get closer to the state in which you will hear your true desires.

To desire is important. It gives you the motivation to develop. It gives interest. Moreover, the more goals of different caliber you have, the better. Because then you have a choice. Select the presence of a choice, not its absence. Today you want to buy ice cream for yourself, and tomorrow you will sit down to embody a long-thought-out creative project that is almost ready to be realized. Goals of different scales on one sheet. It is chaotic, but beautiful.

I congratulate you - we have just dealt with the two most obvious types of desires: unquestionable desires and dubious desires. We deleted the second from our life and clearly recorded on the sheet first. But there are still those desires, next to which a question mark would look so appropriate. “Do I really want this?”

Your personal lie detector
An indicator of whether a desire is true is your body. The most sophisticated of your devices. When you are very hungry, something makes you doubt that you want to eat? Do you really want this? Yes!

Let's call something “happening” in your body and testifying to the truth or falsity of desires. It is important to trust your own body and be able to distinguish the signals coming from it. Such a signal as a hungry rumbling in the stomach is almost impossible to fake. He is true. It can be heard and felt. Why all? Because the desire to taste something tasty is closely tied to the body. With food in general, it is simply a signal of mass: for example, an increased salivation can be considered as a signal when looking at a plate with food.

So with other bodily affirmations of your true desires, it is not much more difficult. And this means that all we need in order to answer the question “do I really want it?” Is to build bridges that help to see how the achievement of a particular desire will be reflected inside you. By some special sensation, sound or internal visual image ...

Which of the embodied desires will help your body to experience the relaxation it so desired? Or vice versa - the physical load, which it dreams of? There is always a chain between the realization of a stated desire and a change in sensation in the body. But sometimes it is easier to find and sometimes more difficult. And such a search becomes possible due to the fact that several paragraphs earlier we removed the noise that prevented us from seeing such chains.

At one end of this chain is desire, supported by one or another genuine signal generated by your body, and at the other - a change in well-being. The question “how do you feel after the wish comes true” should be taken literally, without answering it “good”, “wonderful” or “terrible”, but referring to the new bodily experience that will become possible.

And the question “how to find out what you really want” should be directed not outward, but inward. To your inner self, of which your body, your states, and your experiences are a part ...

Of the characteristics listed at the very beginning of this note, we did not talk about the source of desires and the mechanism for setting up your internal "lie detector". We will talk about it later.