Girl ++. How to find a girl for a programmer

" I need to find a girl. How much time does a woman need a week? Hours 10? "

(Elon Musk)

At one well-known forum of programmers for more than a year there has been a discussion entitled “ Where do you find girls? ". When one forum thread starts to slow down on the number of comments in a thread, the participants make a new one.

We see the same thing in the cinema: Neo from The Matrix did not want to go to a nightclub, but following the white rabbit, stupidly stood at the wall up to the Trinity itself. Leonard from The Big Bang Theory doesn’t understand why Penny meets up with pumped up thugs, not burdened with high IQ, and Kutrapali, facing the opposite sex, is completely speechless. Allan Turing did not understand the meaning of flirting (although he “played for another team”).
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It turns out, the problem has 2 sides:

1. Introversion guys, for whom this is critical, cannot understand why it is not possible specifically,
2. And those guys who do not experience such difficulties cannot clearly formalize their experience and simply comment on the words of Barney Stinson (from the famous TV series “ How I Met Your Mother ”): “ When I am sad, I stop being sad and become cool .” In general, the transfer of useful knowledge does not occur.

Let's try to rectify this situation as far as possible, and we will begin at least with an understanding if there are any particular peculiarities of engineers with their analytical mind, what this peculiarity is and what to do with it.

To solve this problem, we created the Girl ++ project.




To begin with, a small PDF-book was written, which in essence is a compilation of ideas from several scientific fields, refracted from the angle of applicability specifically for IT-specialists. The idea of ​​arranging part of the provisions in the form of a book was not chosen by chance - we, programmers, love formalization. While it does not pull on the RFC, we decided to limit ourselves to the manual reference format :)

Next, we have been working on an online course for a couple of months, which basically will enable programmers to increase the level of EQ (emotional intelligence) and thus help with the resolution of a sore problem.

Next, on March 17, we conduct a webinar, where we will get acquainted with those who are interested in our project, and share the basic principles of the system of integrated work on ourselves, which we dubbed “Girl ++”.

Girl ++. This is a play on words that is difficult to explain to non-programmers, but it causes a smile to the programmers themselves - and this is the main thing. Engineers love “manuals” - a set of descriptions of how this or that system works. In essence, Girl ++ is a manual on how a programmer is “built” — what are our strengths and weaknesses and how to develop them. And an understanding of your inner structure will greatly help guys when dealing with girls.

But in fact, we are a little cunning. It's not about communicating only with girls. The point of communication in general. Too abstract thinking IT specialists often find it difficult to “sell” a new idea to colleagues at a meeting, deftly agree with the authorities on the need for refactoring, make a public statement, show themselves in interviews not only as a specialist, but also as a person. The latest article on one programmers site is called "Some techies will never be good speakers - and thank goodness." Ask the programmer to tell a joke - and you will understand what is at stake.

In my opinion, this is due to 2 reasons.

The first one is general programmer: in an intelligent way, it is called “professional deformation”. Programmers are too addicted to the exact sciences, not too developing communication skills. Look at Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory series - an absolutely asocial genius. Thank god it's grotesque.

In other words, programmers idealize IQ (IQ), not working on the level of EQ (emotional intelligence).

The second problem is ours, local. We all suffer from the collective farm Soviet mentality. Poke any industry, and you will see that people here simply do not know how to communicate and to like well (and, as a result, to give service). In the store and a taxi you easily cheated in the state. institutions will talk down, in the office of colleagues often wash the bones. Look at the faces that people are hanging on in the subway.

Is it easy for you in such a musty environment to decide to approach someone stranger just to talk? We have people to smile and something needs to be taught.

You notice the difference as soon as you travel abroad. We in the post-USSR people in armor distrust, looking out from under his forehead, are not disclosed. Europeans will almost always be polite and friendly with a stranger, so it’s not a question to go up and talk to someone new.

Therefore, Girl ++ is a small course of integrated programmer development. Comprehensive development includes work in 5 areas: appearance, internal state, own status, as well as what and how a person speaks. They can be found in more detail in the free PDF-book on our website.

Remember, Luke Skywalker at the beginning of Star Wars is a pensive, not very confident tattoo man from the collective farmer who can repair droids, almost snatch in the face at the first bar and lose in all disputes to the charismatic smuggler Khanu Solo, and in In the end, he is a knight without fear and reproach in all black. He has worked out both the external form and the internal content. And how he will further apply his skills depends on him.

This course is for programmers? Yes. The fact is that programmers today, like no other category of people, have “an hour and time” engaged in self-development. We just offer a certain set of exercises. Therefore, in the beginning we even give a small test to get rid of random onlookers.

On the one hand, you will not be able to wake up a “rock star” the very next morning.
But, from our experience, the acquired skills help:

• during an interview or interview,
• during a speech at a conference
• when you need to bring your idea to the team,
• when communicating in any format,
• Not to mention communicating with women of the opposite sex.

By the way, the video announcement:


I hope you liked this idea, and we can discuss it on the webinar on March 17 .

Those who minus, write why.