Not serious about DC, IT and not only

The world of servers is high technology, complex calculations, accurate hardware settings and incredible responsibility for data integrity. But sometimes even in such a seemingly serious place, very funny and even funny happenings happen. Today I will try to cheer you up a bit. Enjoy reading.

For clarity, we will divide our narrative into several chapters:
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• violation of the work of the DC under strange circumstances;
• incredible observations in the DC;
• funny conversations in the field of IT
• extraordinary requests in those. support

Disruption of the work of the DC under strange circumstances

Exact time



In 2012, many sites, including LinkedIn, Reddit, Mozilla and The Pirate Bay, formed. And in Australia, about 400 Qantas flights had to be delayed due to the forced transfer to “manual” registration of passengers. And all because of some little things, but rather because of 1 second. Not simple, but "leap", which is added to universal time to match it with the average solar time.

And here came the squirrel



Squirrels for data centers, like zerglings for a terran base (sorry for fan-boom, StarCraft taxis!). They gnaw at all what they can reach with their small tenacious legs. One of these proteins, nicknamed later "fried" (I think you should not explain why), gnawed a cable on the territory of DC Yahoo in Santa Clara, which led to the fall of about half of its infrastructure. Get miserable people!

Moving is not easy



Back in 2007, NaviSite acquired hosting provider Alabanza. There was a need to transfer all customers from Baltimore DC to DC in Massachusetts. What did these guys do? Yes, they physically transferred all! They collected all the equipment, loaded them into a truck and sent her on the way, waving a handkerchief in farewell. The way to the new location was 420 miles and until the truck reached and unloaded the sites were dead weight.

Raise the sails!



Huge cables were laid across the bottom of the oceans, connecting the continents into a single Internet space. They are very durable, technologically advanced and are clearly prone to allergies to anchors. In 2008, one of the many ships plying back and forth across the ocean decided to drop the anchor, which crashed directly onto the cable, damaging it. This is certainly not a malfunction of the DC, but in many regions there was a fairly long simple.

Spectacular entrance



One day, the Danish Internet provider Nianet came down completely when a hole was formed in the wall of the Taastrup DC. And not just like that. The robbers cut out a piece of wall to get inside and steal a couple of network cards. Taking into account the method of penetration and the value of the loot, the phrase is recalled: “shoot a grenade launcher at the flies”.

Smoking kills!



DC Perth iX (Western Australia) stopped working for almost an hour when their early-response smoke detectors detected a fire. The source of smoke was a burning bush, and the reason for the ignition was an ordinary cigarette butt. Guys, do not smoke near the data centers.

The truck that could



In 2007, Rackspace went offline for several hours when a truck crashed into a power transformer (it later exploded) their data center. All anything, there is backup power, you think. But it did not start. So Rackspace lost the title of DC with the longest uptime.

Czech BGP



In 2009, there was a global collapse of the Internet, so to speak. Czech Internet provider (company name unknown) has become to blame. What is the problem? Every ISP has routers that interact with each other, maintaining normal traffic. The router of our “heroes” apparently malfunctioned and sent a broken BGP (border gateway protocol) to another router, which caused it to stop. This was followed by a chain reaction, as in the good old dominoes.

Century robbery



In 2007, CI Host’s DC became the target of robbers (2 masked men) who carried out about 20 servers, thereby stopping many sites. There have been many speculations and theories around this robbery. Someone said that the thieves entered the DC using a powerful saw, cutting a hole in the wall (as in the case of Nianet), others believed that they hid in the engine room. Someone even claimed that the company itself organized staged robbery for the purpose of fraud. But this theory has not gained confirmation.

The funny thing is - the robbery was not the first. This is what CI Host’s managing director said about this: “One of the biggest mistakes is that people talk about 4 robberies ... Robbery means that the property was taken away by violence or intimidation. Technically, CI Host was robbed only twice in 2 years. The other 2 cases are burglary and theft, but not robbery. ” Um, ok, Mr. Director.

Sandy



There is little ridiculous here, or rather not at all. This block is here to remind us that the forces of nature must be considered. In 2012, a hurricane destroyed houses, killed and maimed people. The IT industry, including data centers, suffered no less than others. Despite all the security measures, no one expected such a strong natural cataclysm. Whatever man does, nature will always surpass him.

Incredible observations in DC

one.



Once, a hosting company moved its office from one floor to another. Unfortunately, they couldn’t do this with servers, so they came up with a “brilliant” idea. There were already other tenants in the place of their old office, so they could not go there and there. But what about access to servers? They separated the server room from the office space and made a separate entrance. That's just the only place where it could be done was a booth for people with disabilities in the women's toilet. To the server through the restroom.

2

Schools also have server rooms. And locking them in a simple lock is not too safe. Therefore, in one of these schools they decided to install a combination lock on the door. But, when dismantling the old lock, its cylinder was simply removed without replacing it, thus a hole was formed. Resourceful students found that an ordinary pen (clerical) inserted into the hole, will open the door. Here you and alohomor.

3



Continuing the theme “who still has servers” - from builders. Once, a construction company at one of its construction sites decided to raise its network. They had the equipment, but they didn't quite understand what to do with it. A consultant came to the rescue, saying: "Place the server in a safe and well-ventilated place." The next day, a consultant came to check the work and found the server in the stall of the men's room building trailer. Apparently he needed to be more precise.

four.



In one of the DCs there was a client whose server dealt with credit card transactions. Equipment began to fall constantly. But the client had no money to replace him. And then savvy admins offered him a robot that will restart the server day and night. The client agreed. This is a robot! But the AI ​​did not smell there. The “robot” turned out to be a CD-ROM, which “spat out” the disc loading tray, thereby pressing the reboot button, every time the server stopped pinging. Here you have crazy hands.

five.
Nothing foreshadowed trouble. Employees of the DC had 3 days off, during which an absolutely working air conditioning system went down. The damage was enormous, and the cost of replacing the equipment was about 200,000 evergreens. When everything settled down, questions about how such a thing could have happened fell down. But the help of Sherlock Holmes was not needed because the criminal himself gave himself up by sending the following letter to the corporate mail (translated from English):

From: —————-
To: IT Department
Topic: A / C (air conditioners) constantly working

To whom it may concern

Today I came (Monday) to finish the project I was working on before our big meeting with State-Commission tomorrow, and I noticed that 3 of 4 large air conditioners were working all the time that I was there. Since this is a 3-day holiday, nobody is there, so why do we need air conditioners operating 24/7?

Considering all the electricity that those large computers consume in that room, I doubt that it is environmentally friendly - letting these large air conditioners work in parallel. And all computers have their own cooling, anyway, so why air conditioners in this room?

I took the key card from the table (the name of the manager) and turned off the air conditioners. I'm sure you guys can be patient for a bit of heat, an hour or two, when you come tomorrow morning.

In the future, let's try to be more attentive to our energy consumption.

Thank.

Well, just some kind of eco-terrorism.

Funny conversations in the field of IT

I found these conversations on the Internet and could not help but share with you. Both specialists and those who needed their help became the authors of ridiculous, strange or just stupid replicas. Let's start. Sorry in advance if the translation is not entirely accurate.

one.



The whole day my Internet connection was interrupted, and when a blizzard struck, it disappeared altogether. I decided to double-check if there are any problems with this in my area.

Support: Thank you for calling (provider name). This is (support name). How may I help you?

I: The Internet does not work for me, and I wonder if there is a problem in my area (as a whole).

Support: I, of course, can check it for you. Wait a second ... pause ... It seems that only some people do not have a connection, because I do not think this is a district problem. What does the modem do?

Me: Well, that's strange. All diodes are lit, as if it works, but I clearly can not access any sites.

Support: Ok. A couple of questions to determine that this is not a router. Do you have any home monitoring devices for children?

Me not.

Support: Do you have new remote control devices?

Me not.

Support: Your house is built on the old Indian burial place?

Me not. (holding back chuckles)

Support: Ok. I ask you to disconnect the router from the modem so that I can check the connection on our side (gives instructions). And do not forget - to stand on one leg, holding a rubber chicken. Many people forget about it.

(We went through several stages of testing, which surprised him, since there was no connection from his side, and my equipment says the opposite)

Support: I knew ... You didn't hold a rubber chicken (sigh). No one ever listens.

I: (trying not to lose seriousness, despite the bursting laughter) You are sure that there are no breakages, the storm outside the window is quite strong.

(A short conversation, where it turns out that he is in Louisiana and has no idea about the blizzard)

Support: The Storm may and has something to do with it, I still exclude the possibility of an ancient burial. In any case, I will transfer your router to be replaced.

(We have agreed on the arrival of the master for tomorrow)
Support: I thank you for calling (provider name) and for being patient with both the solution of the problem and my sense of humor. Good night to you.

2



(I worked in customer support for the website, here’s one of the phone conversations)

Client: I can not find where to log in?

I: Are you on (site name) now?

Client: Yes.

Me: Ok, in the upper right corner, a big blue login button.

Client: What is the angle?

I: (I thought that he did not hear me) The upper right corner.

Client: No, I can hear you, but which one?

Me: Go to the top of the page ...

Client: So done.

Me: And now move the mouse to the right.

Client: Oh! Clear. Why didn't you immediately say "in the corner"?

3



Support: And so ... now double click on the File Manager icon.

Client: That's why I hate Windows — because of icons — I am a Protestant, and I don’t believe in icons.

Support: Well, it's just such a term, sir. I don't think he should have meant ...

Client: And I do not care about the "terms". I do not believe in icons.

Support: Well, why don't you then click on the “small picture” of the file card… this is the “little picture”, ok?

Client: (hangs up)

four.


I: Support, how can I help?

Client: I can not connect to the Internet.

Me: How long have you been connected the last time?

Client: Naru minutes ago the connection was.

Me: Did you change something in your network?

Client: Well, I downloaded some movies from the network, but the download was slow. I called a friend and he said that some films could be stuck in the cable. So I cut the cable to see if I could help them out. I did not find anything, because I glued the cable with adhesive tape. And so, can you fix everything?

five.



(I work in technical support for hotel guests who cannot access the WiFi)

I: To turn on WiFi, just press and hold the FN button, and then click on F6.

Client: Don't be impatient with me, sir.

Me: Oh, I was not going to. Just telling you how to turn on WiFi.

Client: Give a talk with your manager.

Me: Ok, but I can help if you just hit ...

Client: Manager!

Me: Ok, wait a second.

Manager: This is (name). How can I help you?

Client: Your employee was rude to me, telling me to press the FN button again and again. This is unprofessional!

Manager: See the gap?

Client: Yes.

Manager: Three buttons to the left, what is written there?

Client: Oh my God, I thought he told me to press the effin button! Sorry.

(In English, there is a slang softened version of the word "fucking" - effin, that is, the client thought that they were told something like "press effin key")

6


Client: I can not connect to the VPN.

Me: Ok, you get some error?

Client: Wait a second. Should I start connecting to WiFi in the beginning?

Me: Yes, that would be great.

Client: How do I do this? Click on the icon?

I: Yes, go ahead.

Client: Now I see a list of options. Which one is the correct grid (client's last name)?

Me: It seems so.

Client: Now writes - “connected”. What's next? Browser?

Me: Yes, and go to the VPN page.

Client: Oh, is it (absolutely correct URL)?

I: Yes, this is it.

Client: Now what? Asks for username and password. Is this (correct login) and (correct password type)?

I: Yes, go on.

Client: Oh, says I'm connected to a VPN. Thanks a lot for your help.

I: No problem, sir. I now need to write something in your ticket (request).

Client: Oh, write that I needed some confidence.

From the observations of an IT person (short stories)

1. Once the company instructed one of its employees to make a copy of a floppy disk at the end of each working day. After half a year, the diskette failed, and the employee was asked to provide a copy. He opened the locker of his desk and took out a huge mortar of paper with photocopies of a floppy disk.

2. I was walking through the office, when suddenly one of the employees said: “Finally! How long are you I pressed F1 (“help” button) 2 hours ago! ”

3. One of my favorite frequent inquiries: “I can't remember the email password. Can you send me a new one? ”

4. One guy complained to me that his computer was hacked. After all, if something is wrong, then hackers clearly worked here. Every time he opened the program, closed the program, turned on the computer, etc. sounded a song from Reading Rainbow children's program. Everything turned out to be much simpler. When he left his PC unattended, one of his colleagues changed in the settings all the sounds of Windows to this song.

5. The man complained that his PC was not working at all. After going through all the questions and answers (whether power is connected, etc.), he convinced me that he needed a new power supply. And then I hear in the background: "I wonder how long the electricity will not be this time."

6. A company employee called me with a complaint that his mouse was not working. I took a new one and went to his workplace. When I came to him, I heard another complaint, very funny - some kind of incomprehensible red light was interfering with it, striking in my eyes. I looked at his desk, turned the mouse over and went, barely holding back a laugh.

7. I had a person at work who, in order to restart the computer, completely pulled it out of the power grid, then turned everything back on. It is even funnier that he did the same when he was told to log in to the system.

8. I received a ticket with the text: "The user requires Chrome to be replaced by Google."

9. Some PC users often confuse a WD-40 can with a can of compressed air. In the end, attempts to blow off dust ends with an oily keyboard, monitor and workstation.

10. Once an office worker received an e-mail that our anti-virus placed in quarantine. The employee was at a loss: “I need this letter!”. I said, "Sorry, there is a virus in it. You need to contact the sender, piglet him to clean your PC of viruses and send the letter again. "He replied," Can't you just turn off the anti-virus for a long time so that I can receive this e-mail? "

11. I received a call with a complaint about an idle monitor. After going through the standard procedures to resolve the issue, the caller began to say that there is no electricity, he can not find the power button, etc. Then I asked, “Is the monitor really on the table?”, And the answer to that was “No.” Someone just moved it.

12. An employee approached me and said that his PC (stationary) does not turn on. I went to his workplace and saw a huge puddle of water around. I quickly turned off the power and lifted the system unit, from the gaps of which streams of water flowed. The user was surprised to say, “Oh, yes, I spilled water on the table, could this be the reason?”

13. Call from the user: "My PC is yelling at me." It turned out the computer made squeaking sounds, as the keyboard holder clamped several keys at once.

14. Ticket # 144: “myspacebarwillnotwork” (my white space doesn’t work) - Description: “iwouldreallylikesomespacessoicanwork!” (I didn’t mix the gaps for work)

That's all for today. I hope I could cheer you up or at least make you smile a little on your face. If in your life there were cases of this kind, do not hesitate to share them in the comments. Stay positive and have a nice day.

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