How high technology can help and harm personal relationships

It so happened that today, a mobile phone is almost a mandatory attribute of any modern person. Everyone is involved in the circulation of high technologies, from children to old people. Technologies are intertwined with culture and our life, and we often feel some kind of loss, anxiety, being suddenly without our smartphone, Internet, computer ...

The world has changed rapidly. Most recently, almost yesterday, all these electronic helpers and toys were distant, fantastic exotic. Today, they have nowhere to go. Yesterday, telephones with long antennas proudly wore on their belts, the creaking and shrieking of a modem sounded with introductory music before the Internet gate, social networks had not yet swallowed the world, and relations between people were much simpler. There were no dates online, there were no photos with tags, no one jealously sought out to whom you distribute likes.
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One of the definitions of the word "love" is: a feeling of strong or permanent attachment to another person. This is still relevant, although technology has made building personal relationships more difficult. The technologies have changed the polished ways of searching for love, its preservation and loss for centuries.

Dating online

Question for 30-40 year olds: remember, earlier, in order to hold a date with someone, you usually needed to meet with this person. To talk face to face, somewhere in the cafe, in the park, but at least in the classroom. It seems that today people also meet and develop relationships, but technology is no longer enough. Many see the Internet as a wonderful medium for online meetings and for gaining a sense of belonging to society. The abundance of dating sites, social networks, means of communication — all this creates a convenient technological platform for the search for love for life or for an hour. But all these wonders of remote communication have a price: we lose the ability and desire to communicate with a partner live, one on one.

The colossal gap lies between the first date at a table in a cafe and chat on the Internet. High tech destroys our interpersonal skills. This is the other side of the coin. The fascinating and exciting art of searching for love has been invaded by the craft of online dating. And today, more and more men and women prefer this method of romantic (although, then it is time to put quotes ...) communication. It is estimated that today about 10% of Americans have had online dating experiences or use special applications. And of these, only 66% later met with correspondence partners. It is a pity that there is no such statistics for Russians, but the situation is hardly drastically different.



Why does Internet communication, instead of a live meeting, gain more and more popularity? Many are simply afraid or shy. "Civil marriage" today is regarded as a trial version of the marriage of the present. Also, online dating has become a “test” of dating. It's so much more comfortable: no one sees your excitement, does not wrinkle at the sight of you, you can shine with humor and erudition without fear of awkward pauses and frantically searching for topics of conversation. However, among many people (and Internet users in particular) there is a point of view that only desperate people seek their happiness on the Internet. Those who can not find love in a “normal” way. And there is some reason for this: online “relationships” deprive us of the joy and naturalness of live meetings, joint exits, walks, and face-to-face communication experience. But it does help someone online. Today there are a noticeable number of couples who met on the Internet, and then created a normal strong relationship. Yes, and attitudes towards dating sites in society are gradually becoming more and more indulgent. More and more people use the services of such services. And not always unsuccessfully.

Correspondence novels

No matter how trite it sounds, relationships are daily work on both sides. When playing with one goal, the relationship is doomed. Both partners need to work on maintaining relationships, and communication plays a crucial role in this. And here the technologies both helped and hindered.
Today, there are no mobile phones only for animals and some grannies at the entrance. Sending text messages has long been the most popular feature of this super gadget. And this opportunity was the first to be “adopted” by all couples of the world. We send each other impressions of the events, reports on the past day, photos and intimate messages. Information exchange between partners in recent years has grown many times. For many people, mobile correspondence is a very convenient way to communicate. But at the same time, during a personal meeting, couples often have nothing to talk about. Is that on everyday topics. Correspondence has replaced a lot of people with a lively exchange of information, it all comes down to daily text messages, messages in skype / votsap and social networks. And in the evening after work, the conversation somehow does not fit. Familiar? And most of all this is common among schoolchildren and students. But there is a plus in this. Sending text messages allows us to support our partner, to show interest or participation without a long separation of current affairs.

Social networks

Hundreds of millions of people around the world have fallen into the social web. For many, it has become the norm for things to flaunt their entire lives, including their romantic relationships. For example, where were you on a date yesterday or what will you do tomorrow? All social networks are inundated with similar information. And when it comes to photos ... Truly, social networks contain the most detailed information in the world about the history of dating, dating, sex, marriage and divorce. And in the pictures.

But creating a relationship with a person is not laying out a detailed documented biography on the network. Build relationships you need to spend time with your beloved / beloved, and not get hung up on VKontakte, classmates and instagramme.

Another point: your loved ones, friends and acquaintances may inadvertently put on public display some part of your personal life that you would not want to advertise. To slip about something, post photos. And without malicious intent, with completely different goals. But it may unexpectedly affect you if any information about your relationship with someone is published. Or about who you like. Or you can appear in a bad light in front of a person you want to please. So in a creeping social epidemic you cannot relax.

Social networks have significantly shifted the attitude towards the concept of "privacy" in the mass consciousness. In addition to disclosing their own private life, many even reach regular updates on their current location. According to a study conducted in 2013, about 30% of adults regularly report on social networks where they are. In 2011, their share was 14%.

In the service of deception

In addition to going online, using text conversations and keeping their own record in social networks, the technology also led to an increase in mutual trust. Today it has become much easier both to deceive and to convict a lie. A vivid example of a common deception: when talking to someone, at the same time flirting with another person / another. And all sorts of geolocation services that are present in any self-respecting smartphone? A little knowledge and desire, and you can restore the route of movement of your partner. Or read the correspondence in the phone, or detect alarming online activity. We not only leave a lot of digital tracks, but also no longer trust our closest people. Alas, location tracking by phone number provided by many providers is not so empty. Someone will say that people have always been suspicious of each other, just technology has finally allowed to follow each other. May be so. But regardless of the number of gadgets around us and the bandwidth of the Internet, true strong relations between a man and a woman are inconceivable without mutual trust.

Perhaps, everything described to you seemed like a kind of appeal to return to the past? Not at all. This is just an attempt to remind all of us that the main thing in relationships is daily personal communication, trust and support. And you should not involve too much equipment in this circle.