If you are not angry, perhaps you are not doing anything substantial.
This is a translation of Oliver Emberton’s article “If you don’t pissing someone off, you probably aren't doing anything important.” The original can be found here .
Fighting overweight? - “You need to accept and love your body as it is!”
Are you saving children in Africa? - “You need to save your country!”
Find a cure for cancer? - “Where have you been before?”
')
Whatever you do, you will surely make someone angry, and this is sometimes not so bad. Let me show you how useful it is sometimes to be a goat.
One of the reasons why successful people are often considered goats is this: they know that in this world there are things that are much more important than the opinions of others .
This is an unpleasant truth. We were brought up to be kind, and not without reason. When you are kind, you are safe. This strategy is great for maintaining the status quo. Courteous people know what can cause resentment in others and therefore avoid it.
This is a notorious loss, if you intend to achieve something significant.
If your goal is to lead others, to create or improve the world, then capitulation to other people's emotional experiences will paralyze and destroy you. Leaders who cannot make tough decisions are unable to lead. An artist who has not insulted anyone's feelings will not excite anyone either.
It is worth making a reservation that the asshole strategy alone will not make you successful. But the reluctance from time to time to be an asshole is an unconditional way to failure.
The more your circle of influence on people, the less people will understand you:
Imagine the conversation face to face and his motives:
As it spreads, a simple message is interpreted differently:
And completely distorted:
This happens when people read the same words from the screen. We just do it in our heads.
The only thing missing is more people. If you influence a large number of people in any way, someone will misunderstand you and teens will write angry tweets.
You can avoid this by doing nothing significant. If your most important decision in life is changing your desktop wallpaper - no question. But if you want to write a bestseller or end poverty, or change the world in one sense or another, be prepared to put up with unexpectedly annoyed people.
Remember how something angered you not so long ago - for example, you cut it in a traffic jam. How reasonable were you at the moment of anger?
Anger is an emotional reaction and indescribably brainless. It is almost always incommensurable with irritant, and it is not always justified. This is a transient impulse, like the thought that a passerby is cute or one color is more interesting than another.
And as often happens with other impulses, anger is provoked by identification. Someone hates Apple, others can not tolerate Google. Someone in the left wing, someone in the right. Say a kind word about one group and you will kindle the fury of other groups before they have time to think. It is regrettable, but most people think that way, if they do not make serious efforts.
What leads us to a very important conclusion: responding to someone’s anger means condescending to the dumbest part of their being .
Be a goat and do not pay attention to these, uh, goats.
The only way to not infuriate anyone is to do nothing important. What puts you in front of a choice, whether you like it or not: which bowl do you prefer?
Most of us are afraid of upsetting other people. When we upset someone, we are drawn to justify. We want to convince our critics. We seek universal approval. And only one criticism among the hundreds of compliments burns in our brain like a cigarette.
In fact, this is a good sign. That means you're not such a goat. Just do not forget them to be when required.
Incredibly, your meaningful actions tend to annoy others.
Fighting overweight? - “You need to accept and love your body as it is!”
Are you saving children in Africa? - “You need to save your country!”
Find a cure for cancer? - “Where have you been before?”
')
Whatever you do, you will surely make someone angry, and this is sometimes not so bad. Let me show you how useful it is sometimes to be a goat.
Rule number 1: there are more important things than someone's feelings
One of the reasons why successful people are often considered goats is this: they know that in this world there are things that are much more important than the opinions of others .
This is an unpleasant truth. We were brought up to be kind, and not without reason. When you are kind, you are safe. This strategy is great for maintaining the status quo. Courteous people know what can cause resentment in others and therefore avoid it.
This is a notorious loss, if you intend to achieve something significant.
If your goal is to lead others, to create or improve the world, then capitulation to other people's emotional experiences will paralyze and destroy you. Leaders who cannot make tough decisions are unable to lead. An artist who has not insulted anyone's feelings will not excite anyone either.
It is worth making a reservation that the asshole strategy alone will not make you successful. But the reluctance from time to time to be an asshole is an unconditional way to failure.
Rule number 2: anger - a side effect of exposure
The more your circle of influence on people, the less people will understand you:
Imagine the conversation face to face and his motives:
As it spreads, a simple message is interpreted differently:
And completely distorted:
This happens when people read the same words from the screen. We just do it in our heads.
The only thing missing is more people. If you influence a large number of people in any way, someone will misunderstand you and teens will write angry tweets.
You can avoid this by doing nothing significant. If your most important decision in life is changing your desktop wallpaper - no question. But if you want to write a bestseller or end poverty, or change the world in one sense or another, be prepared to put up with unexpectedly annoyed people.
Rule number 3: if someone is offended, it does not mean that he is right
Remember how something angered you not so long ago - for example, you cut it in a traffic jam. How reasonable were you at the moment of anger?
Anger is an emotional reaction and indescribably brainless. It is almost always incommensurable with irritant, and it is not always justified. This is a transient impulse, like the thought that a passerby is cute or one color is more interesting than another.
And as often happens with other impulses, anger is provoked by identification. Someone hates Apple, others can not tolerate Google. Someone in the left wing, someone in the right. Say a kind word about one group and you will kindle the fury of other groups before they have time to think. It is regrettable, but most people think that way, if they do not make serious efforts.
What leads us to a very important conclusion: responding to someone’s anger means condescending to the dumbest part of their being .
Be a goat and do not pay attention to these, uh, goats.
The only way to not infuriate anyone is to do nothing important. What puts you in front of a choice, whether you like it or not: which bowl do you prefer?
Most of us are afraid of upsetting other people. When we upset someone, we are drawn to justify. We want to convince our critics. We seek universal approval. And only one criticism among the hundreds of compliments burns in our brain like a cigarette.
In fact, this is a good sign. That means you're not such a goat. Just do not forget them to be when required.
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/362931/
All Articles