Zombies: The Movie
Military headquarters. At the table sit a few people in officer's uniform. At the head of the table is the base commander, General Fred, a heavy-set man with sharp features.
General Fred : Messages confirmed. New York is full of ... zombies.
Colonel Todd : Again ?! But we already had zombies, 28 days ago!
General Fred : These zombies ... they are different. These are philosophical zombies .
Captain Madd : Are they aggressive? Throw on people bite?
Colonel Todd : Do they completely lose their thinking abilities?
General Fred : No. Outwardly, they are no different from people ... But they are unconscious.
Oppressive silence.
')
Colonel Todd : Oh my God.
General Fred got up and walked over to the big screen on the wall.
General Fred : This is New York two weeks ago.
Frames are replaced on the screen: a noisy crowded street, a restaurant with diners, employees loading the dumpster into a truck.
General Fred : And this is New York ... today.
On the screen - the metro station at rush hour, a noisy group of students in the park, a couple walking along the embankment.
Colonel Todd : This is much worse than I could have imagined.
Captain Madd : Why?
Colonel Todd : Never in my life have I seen such sinister routine.
A scientist came to the table in a lab coat.
Scientist : The disease deprives a person of consciousness, without in any way affecting the brain. We are trying to determine the distribution path. The disease affects the dual properties of matter, so we came to the conclusion that it acts outside our Universe. We are dealing with an epiphenomenal virus.
General Fred : Are you sure?
Scientist : As much as we can be sure in the absence of any evidence.
General Fred : So. Make a report on each epiphenomenon that occurred. Where, how and with whom. I need a complete list of everything unobservable in the last 50 years.
Captain Madd : If the virus is epiphenomenal, how do we know that it exists?
Scientist : Just as we learned that we are conscious.
Captain Madd : Um ... ok.
General Fred : What are the successes with epiphenomenal medicine?
Scientist : We tried every known placebo. It's all a mess. They all have effects.
General Fred : Tried to connect homeopaths to work?
Scientist : We tried, sir! We could not find them!
General Fred : Great. And the Taoists?
Scientist : They refuse to do anything!
General Fred : So we still have a chance.
Colonel Todd : And what about David Chalmers ? Shouldn't he be here?
General Fred : Chalmers ... he was one of the first to become infected.
Colonel Todd : Damn ...
Medical insulator with bullet-proof glass walls. David Chalmers wanders aimlessly from corner to corner. A doctor approaches the isolator.
Doctor : David! David Chalmers! Do you hear me?
Chalmers : I hear.
Nurse : It's no good ...
Chalmers : I'm fine. I watched my thoughts and feelings, and did not notice any changes. I know that is what you expect to hear from me, but ...
The doctor turned away from the glass.
Doctor : His words mean nothing more.
Chalmers : This is some kind of crazy perversion of my philosophical ideas. What you are saying is just nonsense!
Doctor : Why is this?
Chalmers : Because ...
Two soldiers in camouflage, an officer and a sergeant, are guarding a country road leading to a large metal gate of a huge concrete structure. On their form is a patch with the inscription "QUARANTINE".
Officer : Fuck you recognize these bastards. They look like people, talk like people, until the last molecule is no different from people. But they are not people.
Sergeant : Freaks ...
In the distance came the roar of the engine. A man appeared on a white motorcycle. He was in black glasses, in a strict black leather suit with a black leather tie, and in silver shoes. Gray beard fluttering in the wind. The man in the suit stopped abruptly at the gate. Two soldiers ran up to him.
Officer : Stand! Who are you to?
Man in Suit : Is David Chalmers in here?
Sergeant : What do you mean, is he your friend?
Man in Suit : Not really. But even the zombies have rights.
Officer : Show your quali .
Man in a suit : I don’t have them.
The sergeant drew his gun.
Sergeant : Hop up, zombies!
Officer : Stop. Zombies always say they have qualia.
Sergeant : So he is a normal person?
Officer : No, they say the same thing.
The guards froze in confusion.
Sergeant : Um ...
Officer : Who are you?
Man in Suit : I'm Daniel Dennett , creature!
As if from nowhere, Dennett drew his sword and with a ringing clang he cut the sergeant's pistol. The officer reached for his own, but Dennett suddenly found himself behind him and cut his collarbone and spine with a sword. The officer dropped dead. The sergeant backed away in panic.
Sergeant : This is impossible! What was it?!
Dennett : I am one with my body.
The next blow Dennet sent a sergeant to his commander. After that, he turned to the huge structure and tightened his sword in his hand.
Dennett (quietly, to himself): A spoon exists.
General Fred : Just received a report. We lost Detroit.
Captain Madd : Not that I’m happy about it, but ...
General Fred : The population of Australia has become a simple matter.
Colonel Todd : The epiphenomenal virus is spreading faster and faster. We can lose the human civilization as we know it. The fate of all mankind depends on us.
Captain Madd : We can try to negotiate with them ...
General Fred : We tried to contact them several times, and received only one answer.
Captain Madd : What?
General Fred : We'll find out soon.
The secretary entered with an envelope in his hands and handed it to the general. He opened the envelope, took out a piece of paper and stared at it in silence.
Captain Madd : What are they writing?
General Fred : They wrote ... "It 's your virus."
Deathly silence. Colonel Todd slowly raised his hands to his eyes.
Colonel Todd : Oh god, that's true. It's true. I ... - A tear rolled down his cheek. - I do not feel anything.
About the author: Eliezer Yudkowski - co-founder and researcher at the Research Institute of Machine Intelligence (formerly the Institute of Singularities), also works on the Less Wrong blog and on the book Harry Potter and Rational Thinking Methods .
General Fred : Messages confirmed. New York is full of ... zombies.
Colonel Todd : Again ?! But we already had zombies, 28 days ago!
General Fred : These zombies ... they are different. These are philosophical zombies .
Captain Madd : Are they aggressive? Throw on people bite?
Colonel Todd : Do they completely lose their thinking abilities?
General Fred : No. Outwardly, they are no different from people ... But they are unconscious.
Oppressive silence.
')
Colonel Todd : Oh my God.
General Fred got up and walked over to the big screen on the wall.
General Fred : This is New York two weeks ago.
Frames are replaced on the screen: a noisy crowded street, a restaurant with diners, employees loading the dumpster into a truck.
General Fred : And this is New York ... today.
On the screen - the metro station at rush hour, a noisy group of students in the park, a couple walking along the embankment.
Colonel Todd : This is much worse than I could have imagined.
Captain Madd : Why?
Colonel Todd : Never in my life have I seen such sinister routine.
A scientist came to the table in a lab coat.
Scientist : The disease deprives a person of consciousness, without in any way affecting the brain. We are trying to determine the distribution path. The disease affects the dual properties of matter, so we came to the conclusion that it acts outside our Universe. We are dealing with an epiphenomenal virus.
General Fred : Are you sure?
Scientist : As much as we can be sure in the absence of any evidence.
General Fred : So. Make a report on each epiphenomenon that occurred. Where, how and with whom. I need a complete list of everything unobservable in the last 50 years.
Captain Madd : If the virus is epiphenomenal, how do we know that it exists?
Scientist : Just as we learned that we are conscious.
Captain Madd : Um ... ok.
General Fred : What are the successes with epiphenomenal medicine?
Scientist : We tried every known placebo. It's all a mess. They all have effects.
General Fred : Tried to connect homeopaths to work?
Scientist : We tried, sir! We could not find them!
General Fred : Great. And the Taoists?
Scientist : They refuse to do anything!
General Fred : So we still have a chance.
Colonel Todd : And what about David Chalmers ? Shouldn't he be here?
General Fred : Chalmers ... he was one of the first to become infected.
Colonel Todd : Damn ...
Medical insulator with bullet-proof glass walls. David Chalmers wanders aimlessly from corner to corner. A doctor approaches the isolator.
Doctor : David! David Chalmers! Do you hear me?
Chalmers : I hear.
Nurse : It's no good ...
Chalmers : I'm fine. I watched my thoughts and feelings, and did not notice any changes. I know that is what you expect to hear from me, but ...
The doctor turned away from the glass.
Doctor : His words mean nothing more.
Chalmers : This is some kind of crazy perversion of my philosophical ideas. What you are saying is just nonsense!
Doctor : Why is this?
Chalmers : Because ...
Two soldiers in camouflage, an officer and a sergeant, are guarding a country road leading to a large metal gate of a huge concrete structure. On their form is a patch with the inscription "QUARANTINE".
Officer : Fuck you recognize these bastards. They look like people, talk like people, until the last molecule is no different from people. But they are not people.
Sergeant : Freaks ...
In the distance came the roar of the engine. A man appeared on a white motorcycle. He was in black glasses, in a strict black leather suit with a black leather tie, and in silver shoes. Gray beard fluttering in the wind. The man in the suit stopped abruptly at the gate. Two soldiers ran up to him.
Officer : Stand! Who are you to?
Man in Suit : Is David Chalmers in here?
Sergeant : What do you mean, is he your friend?
Man in Suit : Not really. But even the zombies have rights.
Officer : Show your quali .
Man in a suit : I don’t have them.
The sergeant drew his gun.
Sergeant : Hop up, zombies!
Officer : Stop. Zombies always say they have qualia.
Sergeant : So he is a normal person?
Officer : No, they say the same thing.
The guards froze in confusion.
Sergeant : Um ...
Officer : Who are you?
Man in Suit : I'm Daniel Dennett , creature!
As if from nowhere, Dennett drew his sword and with a ringing clang he cut the sergeant's pistol. The officer reached for his own, but Dennett suddenly found himself behind him and cut his collarbone and spine with a sword. The officer dropped dead. The sergeant backed away in panic.
Sergeant : This is impossible! What was it?!
Dennett : I am one with my body.
The next blow Dennet sent a sergeant to his commander. After that, he turned to the huge structure and tightened his sword in his hand.
Dennett (quietly, to himself): A spoon exists.
General Fred : Just received a report. We lost Detroit.
Captain Madd : Not that I’m happy about it, but ...
General Fred : The population of Australia has become a simple matter.
Colonel Todd : The epiphenomenal virus is spreading faster and faster. We can lose the human civilization as we know it. The fate of all mankind depends on us.
Captain Madd : We can try to negotiate with them ...
General Fred : We tried to contact them several times, and received only one answer.
Captain Madd : What?
General Fred : We'll find out soon.
The secretary entered with an envelope in his hands and handed it to the general. He opened the envelope, took out a piece of paper and stared at it in silence.
Captain Madd : What are they writing?
General Fred : They wrote ... "It 's your virus."
Deathly silence. Colonel Todd slowly raised his hands to his eyes.
Colonel Todd : Oh god, that's true. It's true. I ... - A tear rolled down his cheek. - I do not feel anything.
About the author: Eliezer Yudkowski - co-founder and researcher at the Research Institute of Machine Intelligence (formerly the Institute of Singularities), also works on the Less Wrong blog and on the book Harry Potter and Rational Thinking Methods .
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/362249/
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