Management Tantrum
- No, colleagues, so it will not work! From this day on, we are introducing a new order of meetings, reporting and management. Otherwise, our company will reach the abyss at full speed. Situations like last week are unacceptable! This is both mine and your fault. I do not remove responsibility from myself, and I strongly recommend you - no, I do not recommend it, but I order you to immediately change the attitude towards your official duties! You are managers, not linear performers!
There was an awkward pause in the conference room. No one looked at the director - this is fraught with sudden attention and choice as a whipping boy. The chief engineer suddenly became interested in his notebook, hastily flipped through the pages as if he was looking for something. The CFO looked at her manicure very carefully - as carefully as ever. Only the CIO, who worked in his position for less than six months, could not find anything to do, was frankly nervous, fidgeting in his chair, lowered his head and glanced frowningly at his colleagues.
- So, remember, and better write it down. Chief Engineer. From this day every morning, at 8-15, I am waiting for data on the results of the bypass of the enterprise, with a list of detected inconsistencies and measures to eliminate them. Also, daily we look the schedule of PPR with marks on execution. Every morning, before the meeting, in my mail there should be a report on the work of the production for the previous day, with an indication of the backlog from the plan, the reasons and perpetrators. Once a week, on Mondays, we discuss projects - on the construction of a new production line, on the installation of a five-axis machine and the replacement of a transformer.
')
- Understood, all the data is there. I make a detour every morning, I simply did not provide you with data, I thought I did not need it, this is my area of ​​responsibility.
- Now required. All without discussion. Next, the financial director. Meeting daily at 9-00. First of all, you provide me with data on planned-actual budget indicators, on cash flows, on cash gap predictions. Next, the report on deposits - placed, planned for placement, yield per day and from the beginning of the month. Also, information about planned payments per day, now I will approve it myself. Amounts over 500 thousand rubles - only with my approval.
- Understand very well. I will provide data, everything is in the system.
- It is wonderful that the data is in the system, but they did not help you in preventing the incident. This is not only for you, but for everyone. Everyone has everything, everyone does everything, why then did we fail so much?
The CFO is quiet, as are the others.
- I know why, therefore, I take action. From now on, I myself will, personally, control the key processes. I am responsible to the owner, and I can not allow your lack of professionalism and, I apologize, slovenliness, led the company to a crisis. I apologize for my vocabulary, but there is simply no way to find other words.
The director walked away to the window, and somehow looked a little detached at him. Then, apparently, she gathered her will into a fist and continued.
- CIO, now you. The meeting is scheduled for 9-30, every day. Data…
- Tatyana Vladimirovna, we have a meeting with bookkeeping on Wednesdays at this time. Maybe we will change the schedule for this day?
- Change - meeting schedule with accounting. I repeat once again - every day, at 9-30, I am waiting for the following data. First, the state of all automation projects, with Gantt charts, backlog, causes, corrective actions and guilty ones. Secondly, the number of applications filed and completed. Thirdly, risk analysis, with changes for the day, measures to neutralize risks, plan / fact of their implementation, reasons for lagging, measures to eliminate, perpetrators. Farther, …
- Tatyana Vladimirovna, we have not yet started work on risk analysis. The procedure is not yet agreed by the quality service, I told you last week when we ...
- Sergey, I am not interested in your difficulties. In our company, this approach does not work, you can’t nod at your colleagues and say that they didn’t agree with you, approved or provide anything. If the risk management procedure is not yet in place, then this is a very serious omission - yours, Sergey.
- So we discussed this system last week, Tatyana Vladimirovna, you said that time suffers, and there are more priority tasks.
- Once again, Sergey, do not refer to anyone, including me. You are like a child, I apologize. Listen to what you are told, agree and leave. You are a manager who is responsible for the very important contour of our company, and it is impermissible for you to behave this way. Always look for guilt in yourself. You did not achieve, you did not ask, you did not insist, you did not remind, you did not develop. That's it, stop the bazaar. Have you recorded what data is required to provide?
- Yes, recorded. Allow me to clarify the procedure, I ...
- That's it, the meeting is over. Tomorrow I wait for everyone with reports.
The leaders did not hurry, but quickly left the meeting room, trying to look as dignified as possible. The CIO, hanging his head and muttering under his breath, went downstairs to his department, where programmers and system administrators sat.
- Well, there, Sergey Viktorovich? - asked one of the programmers.
- Yes, Kopec ... Now I have meetings with the director every day, I need to provide data on the progress of projects, on applications, something else ... And, a risk analysis.
- What kind of risk analysis?
- Yes, what's the difference, all the same it is not ... Damn, what kind of such. They worked normally for half a year, and then how they changed it ... Where will I take this risk analysis, vyr something?
- So how can we help?
- Yes, how will you help ... No, I have to spend the whole night, it seems, at work. We will not have time to automate risk analysis in a day, we will have to reduce all data in Excel. Lord, well, what a day ... Kolya, have you been working here for a long time, often this happens?
- What is happening? You really did not explain even.
- Well, the appointment of daily meetings, a bunch of reports to provide, close control of the director over all.
- So all flew, or only you?
- All, and the chief engineer, and dates. Right now, the rest are sitting there at the meeting, and they will probably get in the way.
- Well, Vasya, who was before you, also said something like that. It seems that every day I went to meetings. But I do not remember him because of this soared. A bit like, and canceled.
- There will not be canceled, it is clearly evident that everything has got her. Now it will tighten the nuts, and the farther, the stronger. When he looks at my numbers, he will probably be kicked out altogether, probably, or he will be deprived of a premium.
- Yes, wait a minute, let's see if we can call Vasya?
- Do not call anyone. All right, I'll smoke and sit down for the reports.
Grim as a cloud, Sergey reached his office, picked up cigarettes and a lighter, and, almost without dismantling the roads, left the factory building and dragged himself towards the smoking-room. There already stood and smoked the chief engineer with the financial director. Sergey was struck by the expression on their faces - carefree, as if nothing had happened. They looked like they were discussing the upcoming vacation, or new cars, or telling each other jokes.
- Why did you hang your nose, Serega? - the chief engineer began the conversation.
- Yes, how can you not hang up, sit all night, do these reports. How are you going to do it yourself? Or puzzled someone?
- I have already done. - with a mischievous smile, said the CFO.
- I, too. - the chief engineer laughed out loud.
- How did? Fifteen minutes have passed ... It is necessary to prepare well for quality, Tatyana Vladimirovna will watch closely.
- It will, of course. - With simulated importance, typing air in the chest said the chief engineer.
“Well, in fifteen minutes you probably made some crafts on the knee.”
- Insult. On, look, just printed out on color. By the way, he is messing up, I told your fighters last week.
The chief engineer opened the folder, pulled out a stack of papers and handed them over to Sergey. To say that Sergei was amazed is to say nothing. Beautiful, colored, nicely designed tables and graphs, clearly formed not by the system, but created in a specialized application. Neat fonts, proper use of the space of sheets, and callouts on the diagrams are beyond praise. Sergey drew attention to the head of the sheets - everywhere was the same date - tomorrow.
- What is it like? Today you issued a report on the bypass area for tomorrow? - puzzled, asked Sergey.
- Of course, what did you think? - smiled the chief engineer.
- Well, I understand, saved time. And what if tomorrow something happens on the territory, you will not reflect this in the report, and the director will notice or find out?
- What will happen? The chief engineer laughed. - Meteorite will fall? Or someone pile a door under the door? Well, you're just like a little.
- Do you do this bypass? I just never saw it happen.
- I beg you ... What a detour, I look like a guard or something? Some fool came up with what the chief engineer should do around the area, and will I go there every morning?
- So they will notice what you are not doing, they will tell.
- Who will notice? I arrive at 7-00 to no traffic jams. There is no one here at this time, except for the guards, who sit in their closet and watch "Good Morning." It is from 7-00 to 7-30, according to legend, and that is the very bypass of the territory.
- Well, okay, bypass, and the schedule of scheduled maintenance? With him what? Also do not spend?
- No, of course, what for. She herself knows that we do not hold. We repair what is broken. I tried to introduce this outage, this is taken for granted, but I was refused - there is nothing, they say, to stop the line in the midst. We have no replacement fund.
- And where does the schedule of the outage come from then? Here it is, with marks of implementation.
- I open the file when needed, change the date, the macro recalculates the dates in the columns of the actual implementation, print it out on color and carry it.
- Wait, if she herself against the PPR, how do you explain to her the presence of this schedule?
“Well, how small you are.” - the chief engineer suddenly frowned, made a serious face, and played a small stage. - Tatyana Vladimirovna, it is very important for me that you pay so close attention to the CPD. At different times, we sometimes did not agree on the need for it. As a professional, I could not allow equipment downtime due to its failure for minor reasons. Therefore, keeping in mind your requirements for the continuous work of the workshop, I organized, without any fuss, an outage during off-hours and in the breaks that inevitably arise at the beginning of each month due to the ragged shipment schedule.
“Gorgeous, Lesh ...” the financial director sincerely surprised. “I haven't learned this yet ...”
- And what works? - Sergey asked incredulously.
- It worked, it works, and it will work. - the chief engineer answered seriously. - The main thing is to withstand three and a half days, and you can throw out all your files.
- How? Why three and a half days? - Sergey was surprised.
- So we considered the average duration of managerial hysteria, I’ve been working here for five years.
- What? Managerial tantrums?
- Well yes. As they say in our village, the reins came under the tail. It usually happens about once a quarter, sometimes less often. Is this your first time encounter?
- Yes, apparently. I have been working for half a year, and I see this for the first time.
- Well, aberration. Apparently, because in the middle of spring I came, and hysterics usually occur in winter, summer is the dead season, peace and quiet. Lasts from one day to seven. We even have a file in which each case is recorded. Well, we coordinate our actions and help each other.
- Who are we?
- Managers, who else. Are you not in our little chick in vatsap? Looks like it's time to add. The chief engineer laughed. - You have a baptism of fire tomorrow. Natasha, let's add it, what does the guy suffer?
- Come on, what is not something. Only, Sergey, everything is serious here, if you tell anyone, it will be bad for everyone. Small secrets of corporate survival. Agreed? - the face of the financial director was extremely serious, although Sergei was not feeling that he was being played out.
- Of course, I understand everything.
- The first time you have to sweat, and probably really work through the night. If you want, I will give you my files as a sample, macros are already registered there. Just change the design, fonts, and be sure to show me before the report. I do not want to intermix because of the similarity of the files.
“Good, good, of course.” I will ask Valentina, a programmer, to help, she used to work as a typesetter, understands the design ...
- Stop, no Valentine. Only you personally, yourself, in your office, on your computer. Files can be stored in our cloud - we have specially created it for such purposes. In vatsap you throw off the link, knock, give access. Is going?
- Yes, I understand, thank you very much. Straight feel better. And what should be answered at the meeting?
- The main thing, the most important thing, and the only thing most important - do not give any long promises. The whole situation, all data and all instructions live only during the meeting. If you say something like "I will provide data in a week," then our 3.5 days will automatically turn into 10. Understand?
- It seems to understand ...
- Remember, this is a circular responsibility ... Or bail, no matter how negative this phrase may sound. One will fail, it will begin to wonder - everyone will be ill. As short as possible in boxing. He came, talked, headed off, left, forgot. Everything.
- Damn, how everything is difficult ...
- Nothing complicated, the main thing is not to blunt. If you get to the bottom of something - promise to figure it out, maximum until tomorrow. Even better - say that in the evening you will provide information in the mail. In the evening he honors, he will forget it in the morning. Well, do not forget about 3.5 days. Consider that these are military gatherings - a necessary, albeit meaningless event. You just have to suffer. To marsh, sleep in an uncomfortable bunk bed, eat barley for breakfast and dinner, sing the national anthem, run a march across rough terrain. The main thing that warms in such moments - the knowledge that all this will end soon.
“I ... I don't even know what to say.” You have turned all my ideas about the world ...
- You do it, come on without hysteria and profound maxims. We are not enemies, not pests, not slobber and not saboteurs. This is life, and there are such situations in it. It is necessary to leave from them beautifully. And after 3.5 days, she herself will forget about her hysterical, become soft and pliable, as always. And the usual, routine work will begin - both for us and for her.
- Ok, I understood everything. Thanks guys.
- Have a nice one you too. Add to the group, give files. Everything, we disagree one by one ...
There was an awkward pause in the conference room. No one looked at the director - this is fraught with sudden attention and choice as a whipping boy. The chief engineer suddenly became interested in his notebook, hastily flipped through the pages as if he was looking for something. The CFO looked at her manicure very carefully - as carefully as ever. Only the CIO, who worked in his position for less than six months, could not find anything to do, was frankly nervous, fidgeting in his chair, lowered his head and glanced frowningly at his colleagues.
- So, remember, and better write it down. Chief Engineer. From this day every morning, at 8-15, I am waiting for data on the results of the bypass of the enterprise, with a list of detected inconsistencies and measures to eliminate them. Also, daily we look the schedule of PPR with marks on execution. Every morning, before the meeting, in my mail there should be a report on the work of the production for the previous day, with an indication of the backlog from the plan, the reasons and perpetrators. Once a week, on Mondays, we discuss projects - on the construction of a new production line, on the installation of a five-axis machine and the replacement of a transformer.
')
- Understood, all the data is there. I make a detour every morning, I simply did not provide you with data, I thought I did not need it, this is my area of ​​responsibility.
- Now required. All without discussion. Next, the financial director. Meeting daily at 9-00. First of all, you provide me with data on planned-actual budget indicators, on cash flows, on cash gap predictions. Next, the report on deposits - placed, planned for placement, yield per day and from the beginning of the month. Also, information about planned payments per day, now I will approve it myself. Amounts over 500 thousand rubles - only with my approval.
- Understand very well. I will provide data, everything is in the system.
- It is wonderful that the data is in the system, but they did not help you in preventing the incident. This is not only for you, but for everyone. Everyone has everything, everyone does everything, why then did we fail so much?
The CFO is quiet, as are the others.
- I know why, therefore, I take action. From now on, I myself will, personally, control the key processes. I am responsible to the owner, and I can not allow your lack of professionalism and, I apologize, slovenliness, led the company to a crisis. I apologize for my vocabulary, but there is simply no way to find other words.
The director walked away to the window, and somehow looked a little detached at him. Then, apparently, she gathered her will into a fist and continued.
- CIO, now you. The meeting is scheduled for 9-30, every day. Data…
- Tatyana Vladimirovna, we have a meeting with bookkeeping on Wednesdays at this time. Maybe we will change the schedule for this day?
- Change - meeting schedule with accounting. I repeat once again - every day, at 9-30, I am waiting for the following data. First, the state of all automation projects, with Gantt charts, backlog, causes, corrective actions and guilty ones. Secondly, the number of applications filed and completed. Thirdly, risk analysis, with changes for the day, measures to neutralize risks, plan / fact of their implementation, reasons for lagging, measures to eliminate, perpetrators. Farther, …
- Tatyana Vladimirovna, we have not yet started work on risk analysis. The procedure is not yet agreed by the quality service, I told you last week when we ...
- Sergey, I am not interested in your difficulties. In our company, this approach does not work, you can’t nod at your colleagues and say that they didn’t agree with you, approved or provide anything. If the risk management procedure is not yet in place, then this is a very serious omission - yours, Sergey.
- So we discussed this system last week, Tatyana Vladimirovna, you said that time suffers, and there are more priority tasks.
- Once again, Sergey, do not refer to anyone, including me. You are like a child, I apologize. Listen to what you are told, agree and leave. You are a manager who is responsible for the very important contour of our company, and it is impermissible for you to behave this way. Always look for guilt in yourself. You did not achieve, you did not ask, you did not insist, you did not remind, you did not develop. That's it, stop the bazaar. Have you recorded what data is required to provide?
- Yes, recorded. Allow me to clarify the procedure, I ...
- That's it, the meeting is over. Tomorrow I wait for everyone with reports.
The leaders did not hurry, but quickly left the meeting room, trying to look as dignified as possible. The CIO, hanging his head and muttering under his breath, went downstairs to his department, where programmers and system administrators sat.
- Well, there, Sergey Viktorovich? - asked one of the programmers.
- Yes, Kopec ... Now I have meetings with the director every day, I need to provide data on the progress of projects, on applications, something else ... And, a risk analysis.
- What kind of risk analysis?
- Yes, what's the difference, all the same it is not ... Damn, what kind of such. They worked normally for half a year, and then how they changed it ... Where will I take this risk analysis, vyr something?
- So how can we help?
- Yes, how will you help ... No, I have to spend the whole night, it seems, at work. We will not have time to automate risk analysis in a day, we will have to reduce all data in Excel. Lord, well, what a day ... Kolya, have you been working here for a long time, often this happens?
- What is happening? You really did not explain even.
- Well, the appointment of daily meetings, a bunch of reports to provide, close control of the director over all.
- So all flew, or only you?
- All, and the chief engineer, and dates. Right now, the rest are sitting there at the meeting, and they will probably get in the way.
- Well, Vasya, who was before you, also said something like that. It seems that every day I went to meetings. But I do not remember him because of this soared. A bit like, and canceled.
- There will not be canceled, it is clearly evident that everything has got her. Now it will tighten the nuts, and the farther, the stronger. When he looks at my numbers, he will probably be kicked out altogether, probably, or he will be deprived of a premium.
- Yes, wait a minute, let's see if we can call Vasya?
- Do not call anyone. All right, I'll smoke and sit down for the reports.
Grim as a cloud, Sergey reached his office, picked up cigarettes and a lighter, and, almost without dismantling the roads, left the factory building and dragged himself towards the smoking-room. There already stood and smoked the chief engineer with the financial director. Sergey was struck by the expression on their faces - carefree, as if nothing had happened. They looked like they were discussing the upcoming vacation, or new cars, or telling each other jokes.
- Why did you hang your nose, Serega? - the chief engineer began the conversation.
- Yes, how can you not hang up, sit all night, do these reports. How are you going to do it yourself? Or puzzled someone?
- I have already done. - with a mischievous smile, said the CFO.
- I, too. - the chief engineer laughed out loud.
- How did? Fifteen minutes have passed ... It is necessary to prepare well for quality, Tatyana Vladimirovna will watch closely.
- It will, of course. - With simulated importance, typing air in the chest said the chief engineer.
“Well, in fifteen minutes you probably made some crafts on the knee.”
- Insult. On, look, just printed out on color. By the way, he is messing up, I told your fighters last week.
The chief engineer opened the folder, pulled out a stack of papers and handed them over to Sergey. To say that Sergei was amazed is to say nothing. Beautiful, colored, nicely designed tables and graphs, clearly formed not by the system, but created in a specialized application. Neat fonts, proper use of the space of sheets, and callouts on the diagrams are beyond praise. Sergey drew attention to the head of the sheets - everywhere was the same date - tomorrow.
- What is it like? Today you issued a report on the bypass area for tomorrow? - puzzled, asked Sergey.
- Of course, what did you think? - smiled the chief engineer.
- Well, I understand, saved time. And what if tomorrow something happens on the territory, you will not reflect this in the report, and the director will notice or find out?
- What will happen? The chief engineer laughed. - Meteorite will fall? Or someone pile a door under the door? Well, you're just like a little.
- Do you do this bypass? I just never saw it happen.
- I beg you ... What a detour, I look like a guard or something? Some fool came up with what the chief engineer should do around the area, and will I go there every morning?
- So they will notice what you are not doing, they will tell.
- Who will notice? I arrive at 7-00 to no traffic jams. There is no one here at this time, except for the guards, who sit in their closet and watch "Good Morning." It is from 7-00 to 7-30, according to legend, and that is the very bypass of the territory.
- Well, okay, bypass, and the schedule of scheduled maintenance? With him what? Also do not spend?
- No, of course, what for. She herself knows that we do not hold. We repair what is broken. I tried to introduce this outage, this is taken for granted, but I was refused - there is nothing, they say, to stop the line in the midst. We have no replacement fund.
- And where does the schedule of the outage come from then? Here it is, with marks of implementation.
- I open the file when needed, change the date, the macro recalculates the dates in the columns of the actual implementation, print it out on color and carry it.
- Wait, if she herself against the PPR, how do you explain to her the presence of this schedule?
“Well, how small you are.” - the chief engineer suddenly frowned, made a serious face, and played a small stage. - Tatyana Vladimirovna, it is very important for me that you pay so close attention to the CPD. At different times, we sometimes did not agree on the need for it. As a professional, I could not allow equipment downtime due to its failure for minor reasons. Therefore, keeping in mind your requirements for the continuous work of the workshop, I organized, without any fuss, an outage during off-hours and in the breaks that inevitably arise at the beginning of each month due to the ragged shipment schedule.
“Gorgeous, Lesh ...” the financial director sincerely surprised. “I haven't learned this yet ...”
- And what works? - Sergey asked incredulously.
- It worked, it works, and it will work. - the chief engineer answered seriously. - The main thing is to withstand three and a half days, and you can throw out all your files.
- How? Why three and a half days? - Sergey was surprised.
- So we considered the average duration of managerial hysteria, I’ve been working here for five years.
- What? Managerial tantrums?
- Well yes. As they say in our village, the reins came under the tail. It usually happens about once a quarter, sometimes less often. Is this your first time encounter?
- Yes, apparently. I have been working for half a year, and I see this for the first time.
- Well, aberration. Apparently, because in the middle of spring I came, and hysterics usually occur in winter, summer is the dead season, peace and quiet. Lasts from one day to seven. We even have a file in which each case is recorded. Well, we coordinate our actions and help each other.
- Who are we?
- Managers, who else. Are you not in our little chick in vatsap? Looks like it's time to add. The chief engineer laughed. - You have a baptism of fire tomorrow. Natasha, let's add it, what does the guy suffer?
- Come on, what is not something. Only, Sergey, everything is serious here, if you tell anyone, it will be bad for everyone. Small secrets of corporate survival. Agreed? - the face of the financial director was extremely serious, although Sergei was not feeling that he was being played out.
- Of course, I understand everything.
- The first time you have to sweat, and probably really work through the night. If you want, I will give you my files as a sample, macros are already registered there. Just change the design, fonts, and be sure to show me before the report. I do not want to intermix because of the similarity of the files.
“Good, good, of course.” I will ask Valentina, a programmer, to help, she used to work as a typesetter, understands the design ...
- Stop, no Valentine. Only you personally, yourself, in your office, on your computer. Files can be stored in our cloud - we have specially created it for such purposes. In vatsap you throw off the link, knock, give access. Is going?
- Yes, I understand, thank you very much. Straight feel better. And what should be answered at the meeting?
- The main thing, the most important thing, and the only thing most important - do not give any long promises. The whole situation, all data and all instructions live only during the meeting. If you say something like "I will provide data in a week," then our 3.5 days will automatically turn into 10. Understand?
- It seems to understand ...
- Remember, this is a circular responsibility ... Or bail, no matter how negative this phrase may sound. One will fail, it will begin to wonder - everyone will be ill. As short as possible in boxing. He came, talked, headed off, left, forgot. Everything.
- Damn, how everything is difficult ...
- Nothing complicated, the main thing is not to blunt. If you get to the bottom of something - promise to figure it out, maximum until tomorrow. Even better - say that in the evening you will provide information in the mail. In the evening he honors, he will forget it in the morning. Well, do not forget about 3.5 days. Consider that these are military gatherings - a necessary, albeit meaningless event. You just have to suffer. To marsh, sleep in an uncomfortable bunk bed, eat barley for breakfast and dinner, sing the national anthem, run a march across rough terrain. The main thing that warms in such moments - the knowledge that all this will end soon.
“I ... I don't even know what to say.” You have turned all my ideas about the world ...
- You do it, come on without hysteria and profound maxims. We are not enemies, not pests, not slobber and not saboteurs. This is life, and there are such situations in it. It is necessary to leave from them beautifully. And after 3.5 days, she herself will forget about her hysterical, become soft and pliable, as always. And the usual, routine work will begin - both for us and for her.
- Ok, I understood everything. Thanks guys.
- Have a nice one you too. Add to the group, give files. Everything, we disagree one by one ...
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/354798/
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