How to better understand people
Telling IT people about psychology is still a matter, some readers will say: “Bullshit!” Will not be believed at all, because psychology, even applied science, cannot be called exact science. However, the goal of this article is to show and prove to you that some models really work. At the heart of the report is Sergei Kotyrev from UMI on RHS ++ 2017, from his face further and go the story.
I am an IT entrepreneur with 20 years of experience. It so happened that from the very beginning of my career I had to manage people. As a graduate of a technical university and IT specialist, I initially understood that people are difficult to algorithmize, and in general, to realize, understand and predict.
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Later, I came to the conclusion that people are generally the most difficult thing to work with. Now I think that people in general are probably the most difficult thing in the Universe.
It seems to me that we know more about the behavior and prediction of the behavior of spiral galaxies than about how a person behaves, for example, my wife, an employee, or especially an employee of my marketing department, not to mention PR managers. The fact that the galaxy nearest us flies, and in some billion years will collide with ours, we already know for sure.
Imagine a certain three-dimensional object, in this case a cylinder. And any psychologist thinks in a kind of two-dimensional space, within his model. Imagine that this three-dimensional object is a person, his psyche. One psychologist within his model will say that he sees the circle in this person, and the other - the square. They will argue themselves hoarse because they use different psychological approaches.
Let's imagine that the human psyche is not really a 3-D, but an N-dimensional object. It is so multifaceted that we can imagine a bunch of projections, each of which will be unlike the other figure. The more projections we collect, the more ideas we get about the real form of the original object. All existing psychological schools and theories are nothing but separate projections.
Today I will talk about those who helped me in work and life.
To begin with, I want to say that from the very beginning I was very suspicious of psychology, like any IT specialist, even with some disdain, until I came across several theories that surprisingly did work and continue to work.
From the variety of theories and schools, so to speak, reflections of reality, I singled out 5 that work for me:
I think that these theories will be useful to those who, according to duty, have to manage people: unique, diverse, complex, sometimes unpredictable, sometimes, in our opinion, dull and even stupid.
The simplest book, which is read in a couple of hours.
American family psychologist Gary Chapman initially raised this topic to analyze the causes of divorce. In his opinion, we express our love in 5 different languages . And this is not about sexual love, more precisely, not only about it, but about love in general: towards people, including employees, ideas, companies, values, etc.
Probably, you guess that employees should feel that you love them. This is a pretty effective thing for management. According to Chapman’s theory, each of us has 5 love languages, one of which is developed, and for the rest we don’t perceive love and are not able to show it.
- Dear, do you want me to bring you some coffee?
To offer coffee is the most primitive example of ministry. The most difficult thing is to serve your family, your company, your team — not to sleep at night, think about them, look for where to get money for wages, etc.
By the way, this is my language of love. I understand love only when they serve me, and I show love myself, only by serving - not only to other people, but ideas, mission, values, team, company, etc.
Many people enjoy physical touch. This is for them the main language of love: kisses, hugs, a simple pat on the shoulder.
I hate it when they touch me. And my wife, on the contrary, loves touch. Therefore, she tells me that I do not love her because I stroke her a little — this is not close to me. But I understand that she needs it, because in this language she understands that I am pretty. No, with sex, everything is fine with us, but stroking just like that, I see no point.
There are people who show their love only through gifts, and understand that they love him only when they give him something. And they love to give themselves.
This is the time when you give a person your attention, and not just, for example, sit together on a sofa and watch TV.
I will give an example. One of our programmer was sour and wanted to quit. We went with him to a cafe and for 3 hours we talked about nothing - and about everything. After that, he flourished, stayed to work further, and worked well. This is not my language of love, I do it a little through effort over myself. After reading this book, I realized what an employee love language was and showed in him that he was dear to me (and the company), although he was not at all my direct subordinate.
For me, this is a completely foreign language. I hardly force myself to support and praise someone - you are a professional, and you will deal with your own problems. I myself also do not need any words of support and approval - I will deal with my problems myself. But there are people to whom it is very important.
After reading this book, my friend Dmitry Agarunov, in his Gameland publishing house, wrote his language of love on the badges of the employees. You just come up and see right away: - Aha, the ministry ... Can I bring some coffee?
This is a school based on MBTI and NLP ( www.grinfeld.ru ), and Mikhail Solomonovich Greenfeld is one of my teachers. He does not write books, but conducts trainings on VIP negotiations — very expensive and long, but this is pure magic and shamanism. For example, after his training, I earned an extra million dollars on a single transaction simply by applying the methodology proposed by him. This training has paid off a thousandfold. Greenfeld is based on the MBTI (the classic typology of Myers-Briggs). I do not really like this technique, but he interpreted it in a very interesting way.
I'll tell her the essence in two words. For example, I go to negotiate with a top manager. It can be abstract, and it can be concrete, and my style of communication with this person and the success of negotiations ultimately depend on it.
What is the difference between an abstract-minded and concrete-minded person?
Such a concrete seller comes to an abstract buyer and starts to ship it with details. He sours after 5 minutes and says: “Go to my deputy!” (Usually abstract leaders have specific intentions).
Or, on the contrary, the abstract seller comes to a specific customer and begins to tell him about the space ships plying the Bolshoi Theater. And he says: "No, you specifically tell - what, how much, when, how much, etc."
This is just one of the dimensions that Greenfeld has a lot of, like case studies. It helps me a lot - to sell, to hire, and to manage. Although I repeat that I am not a fan of MBTI. But we must admit that the MBTI among all the theories of applied psychology is now the most popular in the world. Therefore, I still recommend to study it. But even more I recommend to learn from Greenfeld. Tell him my name, he will give you a discount. It matters because learning is not cheap. I have nothing with it, just very grateful to him for his knowledge, skills and insights.
Gert Hofstede is a Dutch scholar who has worked on cross-cultural differences. For example, why Japanese management is so different from American, and Russian from German. Although this theory was originally related to international management, it is very well applicable in the analysis of human personality traits.
Hofstede was commissioned by multinationals. The result was a very slim, based on real research system, for which Forbes recognized Hofstede as one of the most reputable business scientists in the field of psychology. I have no opportunity to tell about this theory in detail now. For myself, I made one important discovery. This theory works equally well in management, both at the level of nations and national characteristics, and at the level of specific individuals within the company.
The Hofstede theory is based on the evaluation of 5 parameters:
1. Power Distance Index (PDI) shows how a person (or society as a whole) is inclined to recognize inequality.
For example, in Russia this indicator is traditionally high, and in Holland, Sweden and Israel is low.
The same goes for the atmosphere in any company. Depending on the level of PDI, the role of management is completely different:
2. Individualism (IDV) - individualism / collectivism
For example, Americans are individualists, while Chinese are collectivists.
3. Masculinity (MAS) - masculinity / femininity.
Americans with their cult of Rimbaud, “Where is your money?”, “You're a loser!” And all the rest have a very high MAS index. Thailand, by contrast, is one of the most "feminine" cultures in the world. Russia is also a “women's country” - remember our fairy tales, folk songs, etc.
Sometimes it’s enough to look at how men and women look in the country, and it becomes clear who forms the national character. Remember the typical Germans or Englishwomen, and to compare Russian, Ukrainian or Thai girls.
4. Uncertainty Avoidance Index (UAI) - the acceptance / rejection of uncertainty.
5. Long-Term Orientation (LTO) - long term / short term.
Hofstede has scientific proof of the well-known proverb “ What is good for a Russian, then death is for a German ”.
Compare Russian with German:
This is the newest theory for me, which I am still studying. She seemed very interesting to me, so I’ll say a few words about her. This model was developed in the 1970s by the American psychologist Tybee Keler. In 1978, he signed a contract with NASA, according to which he took part in the selection of psychological compatibility among astronauts for a complete set of effective crews. The selection was carried out, including, according to the psycho type, and not only according to physical and professional parameters. This work was successfully completed.
Now Kaler's development is popular mainly in America and France, and in Russia almost no one knows about it. We brought a trainer who conducted a training for the organization of EO entrepreneurs, in which I am a member. The model is called Process Communication (communication process) because it allows you to understand at what level a person is most effective in communicating with other people.
Basic stands out 6 levels . They are theoretically equal to each other, but they are not equal for each person. The lower the level, the more energy a person spends, communicating at this level and trying to go to his base - the more understandable and simple for him.
For example, my PCM model:
At each next level, I find it harder to communicate with other people . For example, at the mental level, I have only 5-10% of my nominal power of energy. I am losing a lot of energy there, and the efficiency is the lowest because I am not at all spiritual.
I am a logician , I logically think, I am responsible, I try to explain everything from the point of view of logic. A sincere person - warm, sensitive, sensitive, empathetic, etc. Not mine.
Persistent is a person with his life principles who will not violate them. He has his own rules of the game, which he himself invented, or his parents inspired him, or someone else, and he lives according to them.
The worker is a typical entrepreneur - a creator who constantly does something, agrees, turns, turns.
The dreamer loves to be alone, sit, thinking and dreaming about something. He will do nothing until he is kicked. But the dreamer is good because he can give birth to the most creative ideas that do not even occur to logic. Dreamers have a violent imagination and imagination.
Mental person is found in many companies. Usually they are women, but I know a few male businessmen of this level. By the way, in IT companies, spiritual people are not enough.
To the rebel, the most important thing is to draw attention to oneself, to hit everyone, to shock, to surprise, to draw in the glory, something to say, so that everyone would look at him.
Process Communication is a fairly expensive, but effective, 2-day training. After you study Afanasyev's Psychosophy, I recommend doing it. They complement each other very well, because they look at people in different projections, but do not contradict them.
This is my favorite theory , which began my passion for applied psychology. Probably, if she had not appeared in my life, I would have scored on psychology because I believed that all this is bullshit for girls in a psychology department, but such a serious peasant like me was not fit to do so.
But I read the book and I was amazed - it works! I learned many things not only about other people, but also about myself. For example:
Since childhood, I had a feeling that I was somehow different from everyone, and therefore, with many people, I was not comfortable. In addition, I'm still an introvert. Studied - and finally understood myself. I realized that I was actually quite normal, I was just not quite in the right environment for my psycho-type.
Alexander Y. Afanasyev was born in 1950, died in 2005. Initially, he was engaged in socionics , and then said, like Lenin: “No, we will go the other way!” And went to the library, studying several years of biographies of famous people, highlighting their psycho-type by a model that is similar and at the same time unlike socionics.
After the appearance of Afanasyev's theory, which he called “ Psychosophy, ” the followers of socionics split into two unequal camps: those who went after Afanasyev and the adherents of the old school. I also studied socionics, I do not like it. Psychosophy worked perfectly! I think this theory is really cool. She says that each of us has different life values. That is, a person's psycho-typing is an understanding of his values.
You will be very surprised, but your values do not coincide with the values of most people who surround you. Based on values, we come to an understanding of how a person will think and what is important for him, how he will make decisions and how to act.
To begin with, the human personality consists of four basic components, called "functions." This is not so hot, what a discovery, but nothing more to come up with:
The trick is that each person by nature has all four functions, but they are in a different sequence.
Each person functions in a different order, for example:
Functions are not equal. There is an internal hierarchy of these functions, which determines the type of each person (24 psycho-types in total). Of course, many IT specialists with the 1st logic will say that this is all bullshit, it is impossible to divide all the diversity of people into 24 types. It's too easy.
In fact, you can. I will not argue that 2 people with the same psychotype will be the same. No, they will not do! They will not be because they have different parents, different destinies, they grew up in different countries, they have different bodies. They will still be different. But! Life values they will be about the same .
The 2 upper functions are considered to be conditionally the strengths of the individual, and the 2 lower functions are considered conditionally weak. But I emphasize the word “ conditionally” here because sometimes the 4th function of one person is much stronger than the 1st function of another, if measured, for example, intelligence or physical abilities. Sometimes our conditionally weaknesses influence our fate much more than conditionally strong ones. I'll tell you a little more in detail, because this may be incomprehensible.
This is the most important, strong and typical side of our nature, our most important survival weapon:
This is our main weapon in conflicts : family, workers - any. Always turn on first (first reaction). With any danger, if a person has the first function:
In addition, we need weapons not only to fight the enemies. For example, there are weapons in our love tasks when you need to continue your race. This is also the task of survival, which is given to us by nature and which each 1st function solves in its own way:
You will laugh, one friend of mine with the 1st will did so. He just saw a beautiful girl, took her hand and commanded - let's go! She went. Still married and happy.
The first function is very strong, but it has one problem. She is redundant and rude .
The first function Afanasyev compared with a sledgehammer . This is not a very thin instrument, the most suitable for punching walls. But this is not an hour-long screwdriver for repairing fine mechanisms.
The ideal function in our psycho-type is the best and most healthy part of human nature :
It is process , in contrast to the first function, is able to listen to others and communicate with them, and it is exactly what it should be, ideally - there is not too much and not too little.
For example, the best actor is a person not with the first emotion, but with the second, because he will cry when it is necessary, and when he must laugh, and between these events 2 seconds can pass. The best logician is a person with a second logic, and not with the first because the first one usually reasons like this: “I am the smartest here. Therefore, either listen to what I am telling you, or they are themselves to blame. ” And the second logic will say: "It is interesting to listen to your opinion, let's discuss!"
The second will is a person who is difficult to break, bend, but at the same time he does not put pressure on other people. The second physics is the most industrious, energetic and viable people.
Afanasyev compared the second function with the river, which, like the Volga, flows endlessly and for a long time, and you always know that the water will not end there. So is our 2nd function. It is like good health - we don’t notice it at all because we believe that it is inexhaustible until some kind of problem happens.
As you understand, we should be unlucky about something - all people have not only advantages, but also disadvantages . More precisely, we have what we consider to be our shortcomings, about which we have been thinking from childhood that we have not been very successful in this.
We look at other people, and we see that they have it developed abruptly, but we don’t have it. And we begin to either envy them, or fall in love with them, or learn from them, etc.
This is the third function:
If a person has the 3rd logic, he is not sure that he is smart enough and competent.
If a person has a 3rd emotion, he is not sure that he is sufficiently relaxed, open, not trapped, etc.
If a person has a 3rd will, he is always afraid that he is not sufficiently respected and valued.
If a person has a 3rd physicist, he is not sure of his beauty, masculinity, and also that he is sufficiently secure. He is all the time for himself spread rot. The girl constantly doubts whether she is beautiful, whether her men want. Men also doubt about the opinions of girls about themselves.
We are always afraid of hitting the 3rd function:
This is channeled into very different things. The fact is that the third function is the same process as the second. The processuality of the third means that a person must constantly prove that he is alright with this. The first and fourth functions are productive - I proved myself, and everything is fine.
Since this is the most painful place for us, we always try to cover it up, as football players cover their most sensitive place during the wall. So we are constantly walking, covering our third function with a fig leaf.
I have already said that the lower functions (3-4) are conditionally weak. In fact, only the fourth function is weak. The third is very strong because it is a driver and a driver of our self-development . For example, who often goes to the gym or goes in for extreme sports, torments himself on all sorts of biathlon, triathlon and other marathons? - 3-physical people! They care about their health most of all because it is important for them and they are not very sure about it.
Who are the most beautiful and sophisticated girls? - 3-physical! The 2-physical is sure of her beauty, she knows that she is all right. A 3-physical will be proving it all my life.
Who is most reading and studying? - 3-logical!
Who is the most sophisticated musician? - 3-emotional!
Look at Tom York from Radiohead, for example. In general, all British rock is the music of the 3rd emotion, and the 1st emotion is Freddie Mercury. Who has the music thinner and more elegant? I can compare - I have the 1st emotion, so I think that I understand the art best of all.
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I am an IT entrepreneur with 20 years of experience. It so happened that from the very beginning of my career I had to manage people. As a graduate of a technical university and IT specialist, I initially understood that people are difficult to algorithmize, and in general, to realize, understand and predict.
')
Later, I came to the conclusion that people are generally the most difficult thing to work with. Now I think that people in general are probably the most difficult thing in the Universe.
It seems to me that we know more about the behavior and prediction of the behavior of spiral galaxies than about how a person behaves, for example, my wife, an employee, or especially an employee of my marketing department, not to mention PR managers. The fact that the galaxy nearest us flies, and in some billion years will collide with ours, we already know for sure.
Why is psychology not an exact science?
Imagine a certain three-dimensional object, in this case a cylinder. And any psychologist thinks in a kind of two-dimensional space, within his model. Imagine that this three-dimensional object is a person, his psyche. One psychologist within his model will say that he sees the circle in this person, and the other - the square. They will argue themselves hoarse because they use different psychological approaches.
Let's imagine that the human psyche is not really a 3-D, but an N-dimensional object. It is so multifaceted that we can imagine a bunch of projections, each of which will be unlike the other figure. The more projections we collect, the more ideas we get about the real form of the original object. All existing psychological schools and theories are nothing but separate projections.
Today I will talk about those who helped me in work and life.
To begin with, I want to say that from the very beginning I was very suspicious of psychology, like any IT specialist, even with some disdain, until I came across several theories that surprisingly did work and continue to work.
What got accustomed to me and works well
From the variety of theories and schools, so to speak, reflections of reality, I singled out 5 that work for me:
- 5 Chapman's love languages;
- MBTI and NLP by Greenfeld;
- Process Communication (PCM);
- Herth Hofstede's theory;
- Psychology Afanasyev
I think that these theories will be useful to those who, according to duty, have to manage people: unique, diverse, complex, sometimes unpredictable, sometimes, in our opinion, dull and even stupid.
"5 languages of love" Gary Chapman
The simplest book, which is read in a couple of hours.
American family psychologist Gary Chapman initially raised this topic to analyze the causes of divorce. In his opinion, we express our love in 5 different languages . And this is not about sexual love, more precisely, not only about it, but about love in general: towards people, including employees, ideas, companies, values, etc.
Probably, you guess that employees should feel that you love them. This is a pretty effective thing for management. According to Chapman’s theory, each of us has 5 love languages, one of which is developed, and for the rest we don’t perceive love and are not able to show it.
Service
- Dear, do you want me to bring you some coffee?
To offer coffee is the most primitive example of ministry. The most difficult thing is to serve your family, your company, your team — not to sleep at night, think about them, look for where to get money for wages, etc.
By the way, this is my language of love. I understand love only when they serve me, and I show love myself, only by serving - not only to other people, but ideas, mission, values, team, company, etc.
Touch
Many people enjoy physical touch. This is for them the main language of love: kisses, hugs, a simple pat on the shoulder.
I hate it when they touch me. And my wife, on the contrary, loves touch. Therefore, she tells me that I do not love her because I stroke her a little — this is not close to me. But I understand that she needs it, because in this language she understands that I am pretty. No, with sex, everything is fine with us, but stroking just like that, I see no point.
Presents
There are people who show their love only through gifts, and understand that they love him only when they give him something. And they love to give themselves.
Well spent time
This is the time when you give a person your attention, and not just, for example, sit together on a sofa and watch TV.
I will give an example. One of our programmer was sour and wanted to quit. We went with him to a cafe and for 3 hours we talked about nothing - and about everything. After that, he flourished, stayed to work further, and worked well. This is not my language of love, I do it a little through effort over myself. After reading this book, I realized what an employee love language was and showed in him that he was dear to me (and the company), although he was not at all my direct subordinate.
Words of approval / support
For me, this is a completely foreign language. I hardly force myself to support and praise someone - you are a professional, and you will deal with your own problems. I myself also do not need any words of support and approval - I will deal with my problems myself. But there are people to whom it is very important.
After reading this book, my friend Dmitry Agarunov, in his Gameland publishing house, wrote his language of love on the badges of the employees. You just come up and see right away: - Aha, the ministry ... Can I bring some coffee?
MBTI according to Greenfeld
This is a school based on MBTI and NLP ( www.grinfeld.ru ), and Mikhail Solomonovich Greenfeld is one of my teachers. He does not write books, but conducts trainings on VIP negotiations — very expensive and long, but this is pure magic and shamanism. For example, after his training, I earned an extra million dollars on a single transaction simply by applying the methodology proposed by him. This training has paid off a thousandfold. Greenfeld is based on the MBTI (the classic typology of Myers-Briggs). I do not really like this technique, but he interpreted it in a very interesting way.
I'll tell her the essence in two words. For example, I go to negotiate with a top manager. It can be abstract, and it can be concrete, and my style of communication with this person and the success of negotiations ultimately depend on it.
What is the difference between an abstract-minded and concrete-minded person?
- An abstract-minded person sees space to the horizon and even beyond the horizon. He sees prospects for the next 5-10 years, but he cannot stand the details and details.
- The concrete thinker sees the trees, not the forest. Prospects are not available to him, but he loves to delve into details , nuances, etc.
Such a concrete seller comes to an abstract buyer and starts to ship it with details. He sours after 5 minutes and says: “Go to my deputy!” (Usually abstract leaders have specific intentions).
Or, on the contrary, the abstract seller comes to a specific customer and begins to tell him about the space ships plying the Bolshoi Theater. And he says: "No, you specifically tell - what, how much, when, how much, etc."
This is just one of the dimensions that Greenfeld has a lot of, like case studies. It helps me a lot - to sell, to hire, and to manage. Although I repeat that I am not a fan of MBTI. But we must admit that the MBTI among all the theories of applied psychology is now the most popular in the world. Therefore, I still recommend to study it. But even more I recommend to learn from Greenfeld. Tell him my name, he will give you a discount. It matters because learning is not cheap. I have nothing with it, just very grateful to him for his knowledge, skills and insights.
Theory of Hofstede
Gert Hofstede is a Dutch scholar who has worked on cross-cultural differences. For example, why Japanese management is so different from American, and Russian from German. Although this theory was originally related to international management, it is very well applicable in the analysis of human personality traits.
Hofstede was commissioned by multinationals. The result was a very slim, based on real research system, for which Forbes recognized Hofstede as one of the most reputable business scientists in the field of psychology. I have no opportunity to tell about this theory in detail now. For myself, I made one important discovery. This theory works equally well in management, both at the level of nations and national characteristics, and at the level of specific individuals within the company.
The Hofstede theory is based on the evaluation of 5 parameters:
1. Power Distance Index (PDI) shows how a person (or society as a whole) is inclined to recognize inequality.
For example, in Russia this indicator is traditionally high, and in Holland, Sweden and Israel is low.
The same goes for the atmosphere in any company. Depending on the level of PDI, the role of management is completely different:
- With low PDI, a top manager is a playing coach on a par with everyone;
- In companies with high PDI, this is king.
It is interesting! If in general, in Russian companies Power Distance is high, then in IT companies it is low. We are generally special. That is why Russian IT professionals are so easy to leave for developed countries with low PDI.
2. Individualism (IDV) - individualism / collectivism
For example, Americans are individualists, while Chinese are collectivists.
3. Masculinity (MAS) - masculinity / femininity.
Americans with their cult of Rimbaud, “Where is your money?”, “You're a loser!” And all the rest have a very high MAS index. Thailand, by contrast, is one of the most "feminine" cultures in the world. Russia is also a “women's country” - remember our fairy tales, folk songs, etc.
Sometimes it’s enough to look at how men and women look in the country, and it becomes clear who forms the national character. Remember the typical Germans or Englishwomen, and to compare Russian, Ukrainian or Thai girls.
4. Uncertainty Avoidance Index (UAI) - the acceptance / rejection of uncertainty.
5. Long-Term Orientation (LTO) - long term / short term.
| Low | Tall | |
| PDI | Inspire and advise | Formulate tasks and monitor their implementation |
| IDV | Evaluation of relationships, loyalty. Subtle psychology of motivation and rewards | Evaluate results, direct praise or criticism |
| MAS | Intuition, flexibility in decision-making, the search for compromises, equality, peaceful atmosphere | Stimulation of struggle, impartiality, clear rules, hierarchy, competitive atmosphere |
| UAI | Few rules, free schedule, broad powers, flexibility and improvisation, tolerance | Clear rules, instructions, formalism, rituals, structuredness |
| Lto | Quick results | Long-term stable effect in the future |
What is good for a Russian is a German ...
Hofstede has scientific proof of the well-known proverb “ What is good for a Russian, then death is for a German ”.
Compare Russian with German:
- PDI is one of the highest in the world, so we always need a king who decides everything, is responsible for everything. In Germany, it is low, so they have Merkel.
- We are a more collectivist country than an individualist, unlike the Germans.
- We are more feminine than the Germans.
- We take uncertainty much easier. This is understandable - the Germans plan everything and structure it clearly, but we have such a story that it is impossible for us. You have planned something, and tomorrow Tatar-Mongols will come - plan, do not plan, what a difference!
- The long-term index in Russia is lower for the same reason.
... and the Chinese
- Power Distance in China is also high - the Communist Party, led by the chairman, rules there.
- The Chinese are more collectivists than we are.
- The Chinese are more manly than feminine.
- The index of acceptance of uncertainty among the Chinese is lower, but also quite high.
- The Chinese, roughly speaking, have a development plan for the next 100 years or more. Our task, including in management, is to get maximum today, and tomorrow, even if the grass does not grow, because hell knows what will happen tomorrow. This is a key difference between us and the Chinese.
Process Communication Model
This is the newest theory for me, which I am still studying. She seemed very interesting to me, so I’ll say a few words about her. This model was developed in the 1970s by the American psychologist Tybee Keler. In 1978, he signed a contract with NASA, according to which he took part in the selection of psychological compatibility among astronauts for a complete set of effective crews. The selection was carried out, including, according to the psycho type, and not only according to physical and professional parameters. This work was successfully completed.
Now Kaler's development is popular mainly in America and France, and in Russia almost no one knows about it. We brought a trainer who conducted a training for the organization of EO entrepreneurs, in which I am a member. The model is called Process Communication (communication process) because it allows you to understand at what level a person is most effective in communicating with other people.
Basic stands out 6 levels . They are theoretically equal to each other, but they are not equal for each person. The lower the level, the more energy a person spends, communicating at this level and trying to go to his base - the more understandable and simple for him.
For example, my PCM model:
- The basic level is logic, I have 100% energy there. It is easy and simple for me to speak the language of logic.
- The next level is stubborn. Speaking at the level of life principles and ideas is also easy for me.
- Dreamer;
- Worker;
- Rebel;
- Soulful.
At each next level, I find it harder to communicate with other people . For example, at the mental level, I have only 5-10% of my nominal power of energy. I am losing a lot of energy there, and the efficiency is the lowest because I am not at all spiritual.
I am a logician , I logically think, I am responsible, I try to explain everything from the point of view of logic. A sincere person - warm, sensitive, sensitive, empathetic, etc. Not mine.
Persistent is a person with his life principles who will not violate them. He has his own rules of the game, which he himself invented, or his parents inspired him, or someone else, and he lives according to them.
The worker is a typical entrepreneur - a creator who constantly does something, agrees, turns, turns.
The dreamer loves to be alone, sit, thinking and dreaming about something. He will do nothing until he is kicked. But the dreamer is good because he can give birth to the most creative ideas that do not even occur to logic. Dreamers have a violent imagination and imagination.
For example, when I had an advertising agency, a girl worked there. She was a typical dreamer, that is, until you kick, she does not fly. She hung out at work, listening to music and looking at one point. My job was to force her to write creative concepts for large clients. When she wrote these texts, everyone's jaw dropped, so cool they were. But it was necessary that no one touched her for a while, and periodically kicked her so that she would not hang.
Mental person is found in many companies. Usually they are women, but I know a few male businessmen of this level. By the way, in IT companies, spiritual people are not enough.
To the rebel, the most important thing is to draw attention to oneself, to hit everyone, to shock, to surprise, to draw in the glory, something to say, so that everyone would look at him.
Process Communication is a fairly expensive, but effective, 2-day training. After you study Afanasyev's Psychosophy, I recommend doing it. They complement each other very well, because they look at people in different projections, but do not contradict them.
Psychology Afanasyev
This is my favorite theory , which began my passion for applied psychology. Probably, if she had not appeared in my life, I would have scored on psychology because I believed that all this is bullshit for girls in a psychology department, but such a serious peasant like me was not fit to do so.
But I read the book and I was amazed - it works! I learned many things not only about other people, but also about myself. For example:
- Why do I have a constant conflict with my mother?
- Or why I had a misunderstanding with my father?
- Or why are my parents divorced?
- Or why I divorced my first wife?
- Or why did I love my second wife so much, and why did she love me?
- Or why my son behaves sometimes rather strangely, from my point of view?
- And much more, about my employees, partners and clients, including.
Since childhood, I had a feeling that I was somehow different from everyone, and therefore, with many people, I was not comfortable. In addition, I'm still an introvert. Studied - and finally understood myself. I realized that I was actually quite normal, I was just not quite in the right environment for my psycho-type.
Alexander Y. Afanasyev was born in 1950, died in 2005. Initially, he was engaged in socionics , and then said, like Lenin: “No, we will go the other way!” And went to the library, studying several years of biographies of famous people, highlighting their psycho-type by a model that is similar and at the same time unlike socionics.
After the appearance of Afanasyev's theory, which he called “ Psychosophy, ” the followers of socionics split into two unequal camps: those who went after Afanasyev and the adherents of the old school. I also studied socionics, I do not like it. Psychosophy worked perfectly! I think this theory is really cool. She says that each of us has different life values. That is, a person's psycho-typing is an understanding of his values.
You will be very surprised, but your values do not coincide with the values of most people who surround you. Based on values, we come to an understanding of how a person will think and what is important for him, how he will make decisions and how to act.
4 personality functions
To begin with, the human personality consists of four basic components, called "functions." This is not so hot, what a discovery, but nothing more to come up with:
- EMOTION (soul) - all values associated with the spiritual world. It is not only our experiences and emotions (from hysterics to euphoria), but also everything related to right-hemispheric activity - with art, creativity, sensuality, etc.
- LOGIC (mind) is our rational mind. For right-handed people, this is the left hemisphere of the brain, our ability to think abstractly.
- PHYSICS (body) - except for the body, these are all values related to the material world: life energy, sex, money, things, trinkets, cool cars, watches, brunettes, and so on.
- WILL (spirit) is self-esteem, self-esteem, a place in the social hierarchy: who are you - the leader, in the middle, or are you at the bottom and obey everything? The ability to make decisions and take responsibility. It is also the ability and desire to influence other people, forcing them to do what you want.
The trick is that each person by nature has all four functions, but they are in a different sequence.
Function order
Each person functions in a different order, for example:
| Man A | Man B |
| 1st Physics | 1st Emotion |
| 2nd Logic | 2nd Will |
| 3rd Will | 3rd Logic |
| 4th Emotion | 4th Physics |
Functions are not equal. There is an internal hierarchy of these functions, which determines the type of each person (24 psycho-types in total). Of course, many IT specialists with the 1st logic will say that this is all bullshit, it is impossible to divide all the diversity of people into 24 types. It's too easy.
In fact, you can. I will not argue that 2 people with the same psychotype will be the same. No, they will not do! They will not be because they have different parents, different destinies, they grew up in different countries, they have different bodies. They will still be different. But! Life values they will be about the same .
The 2 upper functions are considered to be conditionally the strengths of the individual, and the 2 lower functions are considered conditionally weak. But I emphasize the word “ conditionally” here because sometimes the 4th function of one person is much stronger than the 1st function of another, if measured, for example, intelligence or physical abilities. Sometimes our conditionally weaknesses influence our fate much more than conditionally strong ones. I'll tell you a little more in detail, because this may be incomprehensible.
First function
This is the most important, strong and typical side of our nature, our most important survival weapon:
- personality support, the foundation of the psyche.
- always on display.
- formulates a personal goal in life, the meaning of life, the system of values, we look at the world first of all through the prism of the 1st function.
This is our main weapon in conflicts : family, workers - any. Always turn on first (first reaction). With any danger, if a person has the first function:
- physics, then he either hits hard or runs away quickly;
- logic, he immediately interprets the situation and finds a solution;
- emotion, then he begins to gush and scream so that the enemies themselves scatter.
In addition, we need weapons not only to fight the enemies. For example, there are weapons in our love tasks when you need to continue your race. This is also the task of survival, which is given to us by nature and which each 1st function solves in its own way:
- 1st logic will try to hit the girl with your mind;
- The 1st physics will demonstrate to the girl her appearance - beauty, strength, pumped up muscles, material wealth;
- The 1st emotion will sing serenades and recite poems;
- The 1st will simply take the hand and say: “Come with me!”
You will laugh, one friend of mine with the 1st will did so. He just saw a beautiful girl, took her hand and commanded - let's go! She went. Still married and happy.
The first function is very strong, but it has one problem. She is redundant and rude .
- 1-Emotional person is prone to tantrums for any reason.
- 1-logical person - frank bore. He is not able to hear someone else's point of view, if it does not coincide with his own.
- 1-Physical person is greedy and aggressive. So among the thieves and gangsters there are many 1-physical people. He is also prone to gluttony and many other pleasant things that physics gives.
- The 1-free man rudely puts pressure on everyone else, breaks them on the knee, demands that everything be according to his will and not listen to anyone but himself.
The first function Afanasyev compared with a sledgehammer . This is not a very thin instrument, the most suitable for punching walls. But this is not an hour-long screwdriver for repairing fine mechanisms.
Second function
The ideal function in our psycho-type is the best and most healthy part of human nature :
- does not set goals in life, but is the main tool for achieving them.
- not striking neither himself nor others.
It is process , in contrast to the first function, is able to listen to others and communicate with them, and it is exactly what it should be, ideally - there is not too much and not too little.
For example, the best actor is a person not with the first emotion, but with the second, because he will cry when it is necessary, and when he must laugh, and between these events 2 seconds can pass. The best logician is a person with a second logic, and not with the first because the first one usually reasons like this: “I am the smartest here. Therefore, either listen to what I am telling you, or they are themselves to blame. ” And the second logic will say: "It is interesting to listen to your opinion, let's discuss!"
The second will is a person who is difficult to break, bend, but at the same time he does not put pressure on other people. The second physics is the most industrious, energetic and viable people.
Afanasyev compared the second function with the river, which, like the Volga, flows endlessly and for a long time, and you always know that the water will not end there. So is our 2nd function. It is like good health - we don’t notice it at all because we believe that it is inexhaustible until some kind of problem happens.
Third function
As you understand, we should be unlucky about something - all people have not only advantages, but also disadvantages . More precisely, we have what we consider to be our shortcomings, about which we have been thinking from childhood that we have not been very successful in this.
We look at other people, and we see that they have it developed abruptly, but we don’t have it. And we begin to either envy them, or fall in love with them, or learn from them, etc.
This is the third function:
- The root of our self-doubt;
- The main reason for our inferiority complexes, insults, conflicts.
- The source of love and hate, discomfort, feelings of lack of realization.
If a person has the 3rd logic, he is not sure that he is smart enough and competent.
If a person has a 3rd emotion, he is not sure that he is sufficiently relaxed, open, not trapped, etc.
If a person has a 3rd will, he is always afraid that he is not sufficiently respected and valued.
If a person has a 3rd physicist, he is not sure of his beauty, masculinity, and also that he is sufficiently secure. He is all the time for himself spread rot. The girl constantly doubts whether she is beautiful, whether her men want. Men also doubt about the opinions of girls about themselves.
We are always afraid of hitting the 3rd function:
- 3rd logic is afraid of stupidity charges,
- 3rd physics - physical abuse
- 3rd will - humiliations,
- The 3rd emotion is hysterical.
This is channeled into very different things. The fact is that the third function is the same process as the second. The processuality of the third means that a person must constantly prove that he is alright with this. The first and fourth functions are productive - I proved myself, and everything is fine.
Since this is the most painful place for us, we always try to cover it up, as football players cover their most sensitive place during the wall. So we are constantly walking, covering our third function with a fig leaf.
I have already said that the lower functions (3-4) are conditionally weak. In fact, only the fourth function is weak. The third is very strong because it is a driver and a driver of our self-development . For example, who often goes to the gym or goes in for extreme sports, torments himself on all sorts of biathlon, triathlon and other marathons? - 3-physical people! They care about their health most of all because it is important for them and they are not very sure about it.
Who are the most beautiful and sophisticated girls? - 3-physical! The 2-physical is sure of her beauty, she knows that she is all right. A 3-physical will be proving it all my life.
Who is most reading and studying? - 3-logical!
Who is the most sophisticated musician? - 3-emotional!
Look at Tom York from Radiohead, for example. In general, all British rock is the music of the 3rd emotion, and the 1st emotion is Freddie Mercury. Who has the music thinner and more elegant? I can compare - I have the 1st emotion, so I think that I understand the art best of all.
For example, one of my friends with the 3rd physics is stuck on consumption. It is important for him to buy the latest BMW model or the largest house. His 3rd physics is manifested in the fact that he is not sure that he will be respected if he lives more modestly. And he will not respect himself.
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Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/349530/
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