7 types of office loafers - part one

They make up a good part of the employees of an average organization, hide under a variety of masks, their methods are diverse and adaptive. They share one common goal - not to work. Do not ask, do not try to understand and do not say what is wrong with you. Just memorize their portraits.

Drama man

Any task is immediately broken about the irresistible imperfection of the world: at the wrong time, meaningless and specially set so as to insult the professional scale of our hero with his insignificance.

They are occupied mainly by permanent stay in shock from all the work that was badly built around him and by warning everyone who came to hand about it. Pain, not expressed at least ten consecutive, is not considered to be healed.
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Since there are no nerves to spare on these tragedies, neither time nor energy remains for the work itself. Because, by the way, rarely has in stock unreasonable vacation. He knows how and what to do everywhere except in his immediate area. No one can say exactly what the expertise is based on, but if you remember well, it seems that in the past there is an impressive experience of organizing and building something there, the use of which in the current place in a couple of years no one saw. Why, see the very beginning - the undervaluedness and the general conspiracy in general. A bad dancer does not consider himself. It dwells on sofas in the recreation areas, in coffee-points and in the office canteen, where it goes only with those with whom you can finally “take a break from work and not discuss it”.

In general, not a fool and can work, but approximately in the ratio of the percentage of the case for ninety-nine percent of the stories about him. Not immediately, but in the end it grows up the career ladder thanks to the ability to pour the soul into the right ears. Slightly looking up from the bottom of the food office chain, he no longer slaughters his head with work - for that is, serfs.

Last Hero

Atlas, on whose shoulders holds at least half of the universe of the organization. Lives without regaining consciousness. You definitely saw his photo in full face and profile in the office frame when applying for a job, the bottom numbers are not a personnel number, but the number of unspent days of vacation.

As a rule, it comes with a foolish environment, as if to justify his hard labor. And by the way, even here nothing is given to him for nothing: people with a slight degree of mental retardation will not fall from the sky themselves, you have to cultivate again. How? Now you understand, watch your hands. He knows how best everywhere and always, and unlike a human drama, does it in spite of everything, including the threats of injuries, urging not to go into their own business. Stop the last hero can only bulldozer heart attack.

But why did he fall into loafers, you ask. And because of the long-term lack of an adequate work-rest regime, it has long since produced nothing more substantial than the desire to donate a ticket to Bali and a subscription to a psychotherapist. Picks on autopilot, even if you leave it alone. Fortunately, the chain of “action-result-quality” is still too complicated for the majority, therefore the mode of a mad vegetable-cutter is highly valued by itself: nothing that is not on time, at random, and not that important, is continuous.

In fairness, it is worth noting that the result, not counting the damage, is higher than the average for the hospital idlers . Often a type of serial mortgage.

Biorobot

This guy is so directly executed all the instructions and instructions that it seems, the uprising of machines is about to begin. Perfect copy, if you once dreamed of becoming a computer operator or in the next couple of years you plan to start writing algorithms.

Works under the motto “there was no order to think,” a favorite gymnastic exercise is “the ball is on your side.” The interaction in each case resembles a protracted software installation: first, you will be asked to select a folder, complete or selective installation, then you will have to decide on the design, fonts, greeting text, rights, and in the end at least three times to confirm that you have not yet accepted it the decision to bring it to the end. And you thought it was he who was given the task for fifteen days ? No, they gave you the task for fifteen days .

If this is not your subordinate, just run trying to find the beginnings of artificial though, but still the intellect, of course, will succeed through the boss, but during this time you will still not have time, at midnight its settings return to factory settings. In this story, you will go through four stages: light bewilderment, anger, helplessness and humility. In order to move quickly to the latter, at home, raise the correspondence with him over the past three months and start counting the number of phrases “I ask you to reconcile,” at every tenth, add yourself some wine. But there is still some good news: your SMART goal setting skills and their detailed decomposition will ultimately be better polished than ice after curling.

Coming out of the office, the biorobot shakes off and turns into a person with a healthy blush and a fresh head, unlike you. Absolutely unbeatable. Charge him to the last hero - there will be no benefit, but you will turn gray a few years later.