Bad advice to the customer

Move the keyboard for a few minutes, take a hot, floating coffee mug in your hand, imagine that you are wearing warm wool socks with deer, sit back in your chair and finally relax. The end of the year, you can afford, after all. Even if the deadline is on the nose, but oh, you don’t want to work overtime on December 31st. What kind of normal customer will force his programmer to quickly deploy the untested code for production on the very eve of the holiday? You squint and grin slightly at the corner of your mouth, because you cannot be held. And not such seen! And where do they come from? Someone advises them bad, not otherwise. And they are naive people, they believe everything. If only we could take a peek at these harmful tips, because of which clients cannot find a common language with us, simple and conscientious developers in socks with deer!


PS All examples are taken from real life and diligently picked out of the depths of a well-known online labor exchange, the name of which I, of course, will not tell you, but you, of course, will guess.

If for your task
You found a programmer
And he did well,
Bringing you contentment
Do not take his contacts.
The path will be covered in secret
His personality, like Batman
Rules you code at night.

Looking forward a freelancer Venus.
Please contact me if you are real VENUS.
This is a long-term project with cooperation.

If you imagine
Yachts, villas, naked women,
And presented very
Inspired by accomplishments,
Urgently need a programmer
Even maybe a better pair.
Let the application be written,
What will shut up the whole world for a belt!
')

you want to make it happen
needs to be quick on computers and
a team

As programmers know
A lot of asking for money.
Where to take such amounts
To hire them in abundance?
There is one big trick:
We must not give them money
Instead of speeches
It would be better to cajole them.

Work for good life
Looking job expirience and Windows 7/8/10
Expirience system devoleper

If dad gave for the first time
Pocket money
Thus revealing the vein,
What glitters businessmen have
Urgently you get down to business
And buy no chocolate
And experienced programmers,
After all, three dollars is not a joke!

I like this site that resembles https: //******
but I will be renting kids video games.
This will be a subscription-based service.

If you two times in the bank
I took the money from the ATM,
Feel free to introduce yourself
You are a financial expert.
There is no need to shuffle:
A couple of good programmers,
Languages ​​they know a lot
Make the dream come true.

Build a mobile app for ALL banks. This will be the future.
creating a creative app, cutting out the middle man
all types of programming languages

So it happens that the idea
It seems to be in the air,
It is worth a hand to stretch only
And catch the tail of luck.
Pass then not easy
This thought to programmers.
Yes, do not even try,
So they will understand - they are not children!

not sure
not sure
not sure

If, dear reader,
You mastered all the tips
Become must be very clear
Why the customer wants
Make you transparent lines
Red perpendicular
On the screen in green
Would bring for three pennies.