How to make bold decisions and not regret anything

Now you are standing on the road. But the question is: is this the path you want to go on?
Does it allow you to move forward at an optimal pace? Does it create the conditions for desired growth and development? Does it intersect with the lives of the people you aspire to see in your environment? Let's understand this, based on information about the basic behavioral systems (oppressive and activation) .

Is the current road leading you exactly in the direction you chose? If not, how do you get on the right path? And once you are on it, how do you make sure that you continue along the path leading to the desired results?
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Most go on the road that will not allow - I repeat: DO NOT LET - they get to where they would like. In other words, our daily decisions - small and large - this is a reflection of our course.

Initially, you could be on the right track. But your life is like a plane: it is constantly demolished from the right course. And even a deviation from it by 1 degree over time can lead you to a completely different place. And that's not all: the loss of the chosen direction can cost you many years and even decades, which can no longer be recovered.

For example, if you take off from the equator to make a round-the-world flight, then a 1 degree deviation from the course will cause you to end up at about 800 km from your destination - at the end of the way.
A couple of instructive quotes:

1. “Every person's life is a diary in which he is going to write one story, and writes a very different one; and that becomes the most miserable hour of him when he compares the scale of a real result with what he wanted to accomplish. ” - J.M. Barry.

2. “The majority of two lives: one of them we live, and the other - unlived - remains inside us. And between them is internal resistance. ” - Stephen Pressfield.

Nobody can escape from reality. In the life of everyone there is a place for internal conflict. But closing the gap between the present and the desired is a task that can be accomplished.

Here's how to do it.

2 motivational systems that guide your life

In a nutshell: there are 2 main systems defining each decision and action (or inaction) of a person.

• Behavioral Depression System (BIS)
• Behavioral activation system (BAS).

The depressant system is associated with environmental risks and hazards. When you are aware of these dangers, your BIS will not let you act.

The activation system, on the contrary, teaches you rewards. When you see them, your BAS makes you move so that you can get a “prize”.

These systems are in a state of perpetual conflict. And in each situation, one of them takes over. The result of this is either action or inhibition of impulse.

Each person has their own preferences. Some are highly deterrent and highly sensitive to risks and hazards. Others are more active - or prone to action - and susceptible to rewards.

High sensitivity to reward is directly related to such impulsive behavior as alcohol or drug addiction or abuse. Another study found a correlation between susceptibility to “prizes” and the presence of disorders dictated by life-long alcohol abuse. Indeed: the heightened sensitivity to reward, fostered by the dopamine system, makes people recover in search of exciting new impressions.

On the other hand, high risk sensitivity prevents you from moving towards your main goals.

So what to do? How to cope with the fear of dangers, and at the same time do not fall into another extreme?

How to force yourself to act , even if through “I cannot”, in the most effective way?

The key is the state in which you make decisions. If you carefully weigh and think about them, you can find the “advantages”, while minimizing the risks. The main factor in making quality decisions are the conditions in which you do it.

On this basis, Tony Robbins stated that major and important decisions should be made only in a peak, inspired state. In doing so, you constantly force yourself to live at the maximum.

Unfortunately, the majority in this state does not solve anything. As a result, their passion fades away, and the incentive is lost.

Conclusion:

To make a "historical" decision, you need to be in a peak state. Do everything to “soar” to the heights, where you can listen to your own intuition. Running, learning, keeping a diary, traveling to nature, traveling, helping people, interacting with large-scale ideas and spending time with family are the conditions that usually put me in a peak state. Consequently, these are the situations when I need to make serious decisions.

It is at such moments that I feel self-confident and clearly understand how to act to achieve lofty goals.

Forcing yourself to action

People who are prone to perfectionism are usually very sensitive to risk.

I have such a buddy.

Despite the incredible level of intelligence, his perfectionism does not allow him to live in peace. As a result, he postpones large projects, simply because the solutions for them are complex or confusing. He purposefully "distracted" to other matters in order to avoid obscurity associated with serious work.

As the author of the Roundup of Usual Subjects, Robert Brault, says, “it’s not an obstacle that hinders us from getting to the goal, but an easy way to solve small problems.”

My friend was distracted from a large project because other things were easier. Uncertainty and fears associated with a mistake are the behavioral oppressive system in action.

In other words, he was hampered by excessive obsession with risks and insufficient craving for a reward / goal. He deliberately took away even thinking about the decision. Thus, he didn’t come close to getting rid of the problem.

Unfortunately for him and for many others, such situations are not unique. They are a reflection of the whole lifestyle.

In fact, he hates his work as a whole, and not a specific project. But it continues to deal with it, because it is a beaten track. Here he feels safe. His parents like that he works in a large and reputable company.

What he truly wants from life is filled with uncertainty and fear. Its concentration on risks inhibits its activity. In other words, BIS literally fettered and strangled BAS in it.

And no proclivities in the desired direction.

However, there is still hope for my buddy. True, he will need all his courage. It all starts with an increase in the number of incentives associated with rewards for achieving the goal. They may look like telling friends that he hates his job and needs something new. Or like a real search for another place. They can be fascinating thoughts and feelings - negative about the current job and positive about other options. Self-education. Surround yourself with successful people doing what they love. All this can push him to commit the desired action.

He needs to change the balance of these two systems. His activation system must become stronger than the oppressive. Until his focus shifts from risk to reward, he will not get to the point where action becomes inevitable.

Conclusion:

If you really want something, but in doubt, try to understand it as best you can. Talk about it with people. Study the question. The more information and impressions, the brighter the presentation, and the more likely you are to make an informed and serious decision.

A few months ago, my friend wrote on a piece of newspaper: "By January 11, 2017, I will leave this job ."

This single action caused a resonance mainly at the subconscious level. It influenced his behavior and actions, allowing him to better concentrate on the rewards associated with the goal. He began to talk about it with people and listen carefully to himself, trying to understand what he really wants from life.

Conclusion:

Set a time limit for yourself.

Create a clearer idea, and as a result, you will still begin to act. However, if you need a real impulse, then take up the matter before you feel ready for it.

You can learn to hear your intuition. Thanks to this, you will have the opportunity to respond more often automatically, without wasting time preparing for action.

Conclusion:

Get to work before you feel ready. This feeling will never appear. Listen to your intuition. She is talking to you right now. The more actively you ignore it, the harder it will be for you to disassemble her whisper. And the more attention you give her, the louder and more obvious her tips become.

Conclusion

Entry into your life path can cause fear.

If you belong to the majority, then you are too sensitive to risk and are unlikely to do what you really want.

You will never change anything unless you get down to business. You need to switch from depressing to activation system.

The best way to do this is to introduce yourself into a peak, inspired state and make serious decisions at this moment.

The mood in which you are, and the conditions in which you "make a verdict," play a huge role.

Finally, you need to act. Sure, it seems dangerous. But switching attention to rewards and results, you want to take a risk. If the rewards are attractive enough, you will immediately get down to business. The best "prizes" are not material, but are associated with success.

And yes, there is nothing to do with impulsive or rash behavior that is regrettable.

Make your decision. Implement it.

Achieve an emotional and rational state in which you can hear your intuition.

Get the life you aspire to . Do not turn to small targets, even if the road to them seems easier.

The longer you wait, the more time you will need to get to the cherished place. When making decisions, do not prokrastiruyte: the loss of profits is incredibly large.

Forward.

PS We recommend another useful article on the work on yourself - 7 things that I did to reset my life (part 1) .

The author of the translation is Vyacheslav Davidenko, the founder of the TESTutor company.