In search of mutual understanding - 2: “Bad advice” for my IT colleagues

In July, we published a compilation of “Harmful Tips” for clients of digital agencies, web studios and Internet marketing agencies and received many comments confirming that the majority of situations encountered in the article are faced with if not all. However, not only customers are difficult. Inside the IT-team, there is a huge number of very different specialists who will no-no and surprise their colleagues by doing something “sort of”.

Who are they? Developers of all levels and specializations, internet marketers, SEOs, account and project managers, sales managers, web designers ... And do not forget that any of us can be "thus a strange colleague." If you are sure that you are an ideal colleague, then do not read further (although no, read).

Make a website as you can
You're the best, you know :)
I attach scan business cards!
This is all that the client gave: (
Running away, waiting at the meeting,
If that, then you call!

Enable maximum channels

The task must not be allowed to go unnoticed. Are you using Teamer and Google Calendar? Set a task there. We send a letter to the customer by email. Details on the task, which were discussed later with the client on the phone, throw in Skype. Went to dinner and remembered one detail? Send this clarification to Telegram. After 20:00, another idea came to mind? Share it in HP Vkontakte.

Imagine your colleagues are telepaths ...

And don’t spend too much time on formulating the task in an accessible and understandable way, don’t specify whether the colleague understood what is required. Describe the task in three words by mail or in a task manager, use emoticons. Be sure to remind you that this needs to be done very, very urgently and indicate that you can be contacted to clarify questions in the mail or by phone, and now you are “running away.”

When planning is your forte

The client asks you to complete the task as quickly as possible? Promise to deal with this and, when setting the task, estimate it at 3 o'clock instead of the set 9. In the same way, an incorrectly calculated project budget can be saved. Anyway, it’s not you who is to blame, after all, developers are slowly working.

# tyzhfilolog

A copywriter, content worker or other specialist sneaked into your team, who mistakenly reported that he studied at a philologist? This is lucky! Now, every word or sentence, in the writing of which you doubt, you can check with a colleague at any time of the day or night. Even if you write a post on Twitter.

You are a designer

Designers are wizards who can make a website from an empty white 1200 * 3000px field. Therefore, they can safely ask everything: make the text bold or increase which font to use in the manual, whether it combines green with red, which wallpaper is better to choose for the kitchen ...

#yyprogrammer

This is another office wizard who seems to know everything. And often he utters incomprehensible words and funny jokes. Therefore, in the event of a breakdown of the printer or computer, it can definitely come to the rescue!

Delegate correctly

See that colleague in the far corner of the open space? He carries meals with him and rarely leaves the office during the day. Leave him 5 work phone handsets and a request to pick up the documents from the courier who promised to drive from 12 to 14 hours, and you can leave for a three-hour business lunch.

If you are a little boss
And lead the department,
Show your guys
Power, care and love.
Schedule seven planners,
Give to all of the additional task
A bunch of edits (you can!).
Tell me how each road
And disappear exactly at five.

Hold the scheduling

Head = scheduling. True? Therefore, if you manage a department of at least 1 person, make a schedule and spend on it scheduling. They preferably at least half an hour to talk extensively about plans for the future, for example. It is not necessary to do specific planning there, but you can put a couple of additional tasks to the slave.

I-specify

You do not need to understand the product that you offer to the client every day, the main thing is to remember the names and 5-10 theses and memorize the script. For questions that do not fit into this minimum, you can answer "I will check with a specialist" and go to clarify. Even if this question has already been asked many times. Asking the same thing is normal.

Works for you

If you have an account with a detected problem in the functional, then, without turning your head and not listening to it, answer “It works for me”, because everything worked for you before you gave the site for testing, right? Recheck and ask clarifying questions - for wimps.

Spy

Look at the workplace, look at all the monitors available to your look and hand in the messenger to the management of everyone who sits in Vkontakte working hours or looks at pictures. Even if your colleague did SMMschik.

Partisan

Do not ask clarifying questions, even if you do not understand what is required of you in the task. Do yourself slowly, as I understand. Suffer from what happens, but try. And then genuinely wonder if in the end it turns out that this is not what was required of you. You can even be loudly indignant or offended.

Be sure

Are you writing a progress report for a client? The main thing is not to double-check it yourself and do not ask colleagues to do it. How many of these reports have you already written that this time can go wrong? And if suddenly that, let the manager communicate with the displeased client.

Delegate on time

If you notice a colleague in the kitchen at dinner, sit down with him and start a conversation about work. It is advisable to urgent tasks that need to be done before the evening. And so that a colleague surely remembers everything, break off in mid-sentence and suddenly run back into the depths of the office.

Take it all to heart
Take offense at all edits,
Go very, very sad
Think long and suffer.
Well, if suddenly the offender
Writes letters to you again,
Answer about thirty minutes,
Write a lot of dots,
Prove him with the words
How he was wrong and where.
If your chair is still smoldering,
Just caps naori.

Prove that you are not a robot

Take to the heart of the detected bugs and comments Temlide of your code. Get discouraged and take the art director's edits as references to personal curvature. Even if nobody saw your shoal, especially the client.

Stay within your working hours

Have you set a task to close this week? Great, Friday night is the perfect time for this. Proudly tell your account at 19:00 that you have finished, put it on a “live” server and run. Ahead of the weekend. Or not?

Be a good friend

If you are at least a little leader, be sure to bring your friend-businessman as a customer. It doesn’t matter that he has a logo in the Word and the development budget is lower than on Public VKontakte. Promise him to do everything in the best possible way and in a short time, strain your colleagues.

Agree

Do not uphold your vision by design or functionality, despite the fact that your hair stood on end after reading the task. If the client wants, then you need to do so. Even if this is a business card site in the form of a scan of a regular business card, where the name and telephone are written in yellow letters on a blue background with five fonts. The desire of the client - the law, the client is always right, that's all.

Take care of your health

Eat constantly in the workplace. Rustling in packs and packets, crumbling the keyboard with crumbs, filling up the space under the monitor with stubs. Get office animals - flies. Do you have a dining room? Fine. Take fish, dumplings, cabbage salad, cutlets with you for lunch and forget to close the door.

Be late beautifully

If you are late for work, complain on the way to a general chat on an alarm clock that has not worked, neighbors and their dog, a long kettle, a slow elevator, traffic jams ... And then noisy in the office and get out of breath to attract as much attention to your suffering.

Formulate correctly

Ask questions without question marks in the correspondence. Ignore punctuation. Write each word from a new line, or even better, in a separate message. Smell the thought of one task for 10 posts, and even better - according to the general chat. Surprised that you did not understand.

Prove that you are cheerful and sociable

Talk loudly and laugh, make lots of jokes, constantly throw picky pics from Lepremes and links to Dvach, Coub and Overheard in the general working chat. Learn about each colleague at least one fact and at every opportunity clarify the information that has been learned.

Actively attract attention

Got a question? Urgently write to the responsible colleague in the work chat, in the mail, in the instant messengers, in the hands of your workplace, and it is better immediately, sending a packet of messages, go to him. It doesn’t matter whether he communicates with the client over the phone, in person, dines, or discusses another work issue with colleagues.

Did you recognize yourself in one of the points or your “difficult” colleagues? Dont be upset! There are no perfect people, the main thing is that you are a good person and a specialist. We collected these stories not only in our office (even, let's say, we were lucky, and not everything written about us), and therefore we will be happy to read stories about your colleagues in the comments or email info@eurostudio.ru .