10 types of insane customers

Often, when working with a freelancer, customer requirements go off-scale, and as the payment period approaches, sometimes his willingness to pay melts, as the hope of a 35-year-old divorce man to marry a normal man. Working with a customer requires from a freelancer not only professional skills, but also endurance, patience and the ability to maneuver between sometimes inadequate client conditions. What only these craftsmen do not invent to rid the world of freelancing and outsourcing from the unbearable burden of money. They proudly provide you with advertising, petition, praise, feedback - yes, whatever you want, just not to pay. “Work for the money? “It’s gone!”

1. “When the project starts, you will receive a percentage as a fee”

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Working only for a percentage is the most ridiculous thing that can be. This applies to both freelancers or outsourcers, as well as full-time employees. Shoot? When does cancer hang on the mountain? You might think that you did have access to the analytics. That even if they provided (although this is unlikely), you need to eat now, well, or today. And who said he shot? The team is ambitious? Is the market growing? But who cares? Oh yes, most likely - not shoot. In greedy rogue women only one place can shoot - and this is the mouth, not what you thought, but empty cartridges are used as cartridges. You would have offered to pay with goods from your wretched online store, as in the good old days.

2. “We will make part of the payment in the form of advertising on our website”

And you go to SimilarWeb, and there you can hear only the hum of the wind. Serious advertising, however. Why did you even go there? For fun? Immediately inform such a customer that you will also do the work in the same way - in the form of a fig on a stick. Let your ad try to eat his own ad for breakfast in order to determine in advance how effective it is. And why, say, a freelancer, an advertisement on some left resource? What is the conversion in orders with such advertising will be? Apparently, the same as his ex breast size. If it was a huge banner on a freelance platform, then maybe it would make sense. And so, such an advertisement - chickens to laugh.

3. “I do not work through a secure transaction - I do not want to pay a commission”

Is that okay, seriously? Only and all? Something rotten smell, do not you feel? Especially considering that the commission in most cases is paid just by the performer. On some exchanges, you can even choose who will pay or even divide the commission in half. With such a customer it is better not to have anything in common and to bypass his tenth expensive. As a rule, the accounts of such customers contain minimal information, incl. contact This is most likely a fraudster who has a billion mailers and a fake name. At the moment when you send the work done to such a client, he has already packed his bags. And then - look for the wind in the field.

4. “Accountant on vacation, payment will be next month”

And on the calendar, only the 5th number. Wow the accountant spree. A freelancer cannot afford such leave. Again that nasty smell. Someone seems to be pulling the cat by the ... tail. In this case, the work will be sent as early as next month. If you agree to this adventure, be prepared that your brain will be raped up and down until you achieve the payment of your hard-earned money. You see, what is the matter, the accountant will fall into various minds incomprehensible situations. This person’s life is so full that his day lasts three times longer than that of ordinary people, and his relatives die and are born in packs twice a day. As if the whole Universe would be against you finally getting your money.

5. “We are looking for caring - a project on a volunteer basis”

Gypsies, beggars at the station are also looking for indifferent. I hope you do not lead on it. Work on a portfolio is for beginners. They even need it for experience and reputation. But beginners usually write themselves that they are ready to work for free due to lack of experience. And when you are asked to make a free layout or legal translation for a startup, because it will change the world for the better and you have the good fortune to become a part of it, then sorry, look for fools.

6. “Here is a test task for 100500 pages”

For these cunning, who collect with the world on a string, and then form the finished work at the expense of gullible freelancers, I hope, prepared a special fate. Of course, the customer has the right to test your competence, especially if he has a short time. But this should be a test, not a task, which the client then uses for his own purposes. Figuratively speaking, writing a program “Hello World!” Can become a test task for a developer, and for a freelance translator, translate 2-3 short sentences from third-party sites with similar subjects. That is, it must be something simple and non-volumetric. And if you have any doubts about the good faith of the customer, then feel free to agree on a small payment for the test task.

7. “You do not have enough experience, I will offer you 30% less”

If your experience really left much to be desired, then you would not even be approached, but would find someone more experienced. Even if you couldn’t find fault with your experience, you would find something else: “And you ... uh, and you have hair sticking out of your ears, okay? Let's quickly drop the price! ”. Bargaining is, of course, a sacred thing, but we are at the market. Here performers are available for every taste and price. So choose according to your needs and capabilities, and you should not insult professionals.

8. “Could you alter in the same way, but differently?”

Also, but in a different way? How is that? This is probably what designers most often encounter. “And change the font”, “And make a different color”. And you would not go ... And even if the work was done clearly according to the terms of reference, but this does not mean that the work is done. With such customers, you need to be prepared for the fact that the fonts and the background will have to be changed more than once, but in the end, leave the initial version anyway.

9. “Oh, and didn’t we agree on that amount?”

What do you mean! How embarrassing something happened. Oh oh. A correspondence to view the lazy mother, since the memory is already otshiblo? Or this is another case when the payment is made in cash in person: “I pay 5% for withdrawal, so here is a little less than what we agreed”. Who are your commissions and your taxes interested in? We agreed on the N-th sum, it means - to pay N cu, and not N-0,05N cu What a strange calculation?

10. “And let's reduce the cost, and I will give you a good recommendation?”

Thank! To whom? Pope of Rome? Or meant just a positive review and 5 yellow stars for your account? As a customer, before giving the order to a freelancer, I looked at his work history and paid particular attention to the amounts he received. If a lot of people trusted him with good money, then I can trust him too. So, a tidy order amount will be the best recommendation for a freelancer. And keep your “Aw, well done!” Praise can't be full.

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