5 ways to communicate with people trying to crush you at crucial moments in life

You have a desire. You implement it for a while. It even seems to you that you are constantly trying to achieve something. And you share your achievements with friends and family, but their reaction shocks you. “Why are you doing this?” They ask, expressing mistrust. And you begin to doubt your choice. “I don’t think you can do it!” They exclaim. And thus destroy your self-confidence. “What will you do next?” They ask. According to them, you waste your time . You do not understand. They are considered your closest people. Shouldn't they be interested, are you happy? Or they do not want to see that your life has become better, and dreams have become a reality?

When everyone tries to shatter your dream

People point the finger at you when you fail ... "We warned you!" They say. You condemn. Everyone is trying to control and manipulate you. You can’t believe that people are able to go to such baseness and steal something from you - something completely irrelevant for them, but so important for you. They put pressure on you until you feel worthless and exhausted. You want to cry. Pressure is a terrible hassle. Sometimes you even give up and start to believe them.

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Realizing that people who are called to "support" you, do not say a word in your defense, you lose your last hope. And then you understand: you are one. And even worse: you have no idea how to defend against these malicious and targeted attacks.

5 reliable ways to avoid verbal condemnation

As you chase something worthwhile, people will continue to put pressure on you. In most cases, changing their attitude is impossible. It sounds oppressive. But you can learn to control yourself and protect yourself from opposing people and minimize the harm that their condemnation does to you.

1. Openly ask what you want

What do you expect from those with whom you share your dreams and hobbies? You need their approval. However, in most cases you do not receive it. Why? In fact, you are not asking for it. Before you talk about your passion, ask the other person directly for support. Tell him as much as possible what you want to hear from him.

• "I want you to support me."
• "I want you to be happy for me."
• "I need you to say that you believe in me."
• "I want to hear that you are happy for me."

In doing so, you literally scan the level of a person’s readiness to support you. If he refuses to cheer you up, then you can share nothing, thus avoiding resentment.

2. Use criticism to your advantage

Usually we mindlessly get rid of our opponents. But often you look at everything more positively than you would like. This is not so bad, but understand: all outstanding aspirations are risky by definition.



A Chinese proverb says: "The eyes of the viewer are always sharp." People are able to identify risks and irrational places in your plans better than you, because they are not blinded by passion. Their mind remains cold. That is why it seems that their stock of criticism is inexhaustible.



But it is good for you. Use criticism to remind yourself of the risks and dangers of your undertaking. Take it as a test in practice. So you will always have an idea about the problems that may await you in the future.

3. Tell a fascinating story

If you have not prepared in advance and have not polished your speech, then you will be considered a stupid and unorganized person. It will be difficult for people to understand you. Worse, they will think that you are not familiar with the material. This will be the basis for criticism.



Explain yourself in an accessible language. Infect them with your enthusiasm. Show that you know what you are talking about. Think it over. How important is your hobby for you? Why do you think your idea is promising? What are you willing to give up, to carry out his plan ? And most importantly, how can they show you their support?



Consider in advance the comments that may occur in people. And also prepare yourself psychologically so that with the appearance of criticism you will not get involved in an argument and not show aggression. Be sure to think over the statements in advance, do not do them impulsively. Do not give people too many reasons to attack.

4. Hide your ambitions at any cost.

The easiest way to avoid conviction is to abandon the search for approval. Indeed, the story of your claims is an unfortunate path to recognition, because the more information you share imprudently, the more likely people are to dissuade you. It is clear that sometimes you have to open.



Yes, you should share your plans with your loved ones, investors and business partners. But friends and family, with whom you see from time to time, to know everything is not necessary. Keep your goals secret. Do not let others smother your passion.

5. Understand what lies behind their words.

People say, “Are you sure you can do this?” You know, it's very difficult. ” If you hear something similar from your loved ones, you should know: most often this is how they express their well-founded fears. They do not try to suppress you, but simply compare you to ordinary people, because it is safe to be normal. And they want you to be safe.



They do not want to see you fight, fail, and suffer. In fact, they want to support you. If in their own words they offend you, do not blame them for this. Not everyone knows how to properly express their feelings. Perhaps you misinterpret their kindness.



Find out what lies behind their words. Show empathy and understanding , express gratitude. Do not argue with them, but gently assure them that everything will be fine with you.

How to realize your dream, if the whole world is against you

The world is cruel. He will do everything to break your plan and destroy your life. He always does that. Nothing personal. It looks like gravity. No one can neglect it. The world excludes those who submit to its influence.

And those who endure everything to the end, find themselves at the top and change life. That is how the world works. Most people around you are unwittingly part of such a gravitational force.



They oppose you and try to suppress you at all costs. Their intentions may be good or bad, it does not matter. They are not to blame. Suspecting it or not, they obey the order of the world: “Suppress!” Now you know how to manage such people.



Look for their understanding, work on your story and take their comments seriously.



Appreciate those who really support and love you. Perhaps at first you will not be easy. However, over time, you gain experience, become diplomatic and learn how to resist pressure , avoiding injury.



Your self-confidence will increase when you realize that you are in control of social relationships. You will not allow anyone to offend you to the depths of the soul.



If nobody believes in you, you need to set an example. Act and turn your dreams into reality. Seeing what you have achieved, people will feel enthusiastic. They will begin to trust you.



So go ahead. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. You all can!



PS We recommend another useful article on the work on oneself - the science of how to develop spiritual endurance in work and in life .



The author of the translation is Vyacheslav Davidenko, the founder of the TESTutor company.