Make friends with your fear: it's more important than you think.

Fear gave me inconvenience, interfered with approaching people and situations and made me doubt everything I did. Of course, I tried to get rid of him. I silenced my ears, but his voice began to rumble inside me. When I tried to sneak away, he clutched at me with his terrible claws. If I tried to drown him, he screamed louder and louder until I finally gave up. The more I hated my fear , the louder and louder it became. But the solution was found!

The lion's share of my life, I lamented the fact that fear never left me. No matter what I did, wherever I went and whoever I met, there was always an unwelcome companion near me, screaming in my ears and shouting to anyone nearby.
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Why are you here

I often wondered why he made his nest in me, how he managed to become so strong, and when he finally would leave me alone. Similar questions arose, until many years later I did not realize that this fear was one of the main conditions for the survival of my ancestors. He appeared for a reason. By the way, it was thanks to him that they survived and passed on their genes to those of us who wander around the planet today. Anyway, this discovery was a turning point for me.

I began to look at my fear differently. I saw in him a caring adult who warned him not to let his guard down. I saw a friendly friend in him, reminiscent of the dangers standing in my way. I began to perceive him as a loving grandmother, who remembers her own experience and wants to pass it on to me. Was it really the voice of the ancestors?

He shapes you from the inside

The perception of fear in the new light gave me strength, and I began to cope with it. What would I say to all the people who showed a keen interest in me? Who cared about my safety and wanted to protect me from situations that could harm me?

I would turn my back on them and go live my own way, severing the very relationship that shaped me ? Or would you listen to everything, slowly losing your own interests? Would you become submissive and lead a limited, but safe life, giving up any experience, even potentially contributing to my development?

Looking at life from the point of view of fear, I wanted to calm his fears, not giving up my own dreams. I learned to take a constant presence next to a cautionary companion. I learned to see his anxiety and to distinguish between genuine and exaggerated anxiety.

He gave me wisdom - I knew what to stay away from - and courage - I went and did what I wanted if the benefit exceeded the risk. Fear made me firm in convictions and gave me the opportunity to defend what I believed in, despite the voices of others.

Sometimes it was not easy. Fear constantly accompanied me, and, even without being able to stop me, he continued to watch with a smile from the side. But this was not always the case. More often, he bit his lips and quietly shook his head, combining his mother, friend and grandmother. But he knew that I had listened to him, and since I never ignored him, he shouted much less often. In the end, he just wanted to protect me. He did not understand that I grew up.

But even as an adult, I am grateful for my fear. Without it, I could become reckless, misinformed, unprepared. Without it, I would not consider situations from different angles, and I would not have been able to come up with innovative ways to accomplish tasks. Without it, I might not have been able to realize my true potential.

It expands your horizons.

Fear gave me an amazing ability. This is the only force that feeds fantasy and incites creativity . Yes, he unfolds the most unpleasant scenarios. But he also allows me to write with all the passion, draw, go beyond reality, and dream on the verge of the possible.

The story is full of examples of famous artists and intellectuals, tormented by their own fears, but still continuing to strive for greatness. Isaac Newton, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Michelangelo left their mark on civilization because they encouraged their fears and used their energy to the benefit of their hobbies. Were the ancient Greeks right in saying that creativity is the gift of the gods ?

So, I became friends with my fear. I do not ask him for advice and advice. But his presence makes me smile, and I am always ready to give him my “free ears.” Sometimes he whispers, and sometimes breaks down to scream. But he knows that I will listen to him. And he believes that I will act as I need. His gaze from behind my shoulder begins to please me. Sometimes I am afraid that he will leave me, having finished his work. But, like the mother who instructed the children for the rest of her days, fear refuses to leave me.

Perhaps he too finds solace in my company.

PS We recommend another article on the topic - Formula for failure: how to stop sabotage yourself .

Translated by Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of MBA Consult .