The system of material motivation: bad advice

Ordinarily, certain measures are taken against the idiots so that they, in unreasonable swiftness, did not overturn all that they encounter on their way. But these measures almost always concern only ordinary idiots; when the imperiousness of idiocy is imperiousness, then the task of protecting society is much more complicated. In this case, the imminent danger increases with the entire amount of openness, the sacrifice of which, at certain historical moments, seems like a life ... Where the simple idiot smashes his head or attacks him, the idiot dies in half into various ways and makes his own, so to speak, unconscious atrocities are completely unchecked. Even in the very uselessness or obvious harm of these atrocities, he does not draw any teachings for himself. He doesn’t care about any results, because these results are not found out on him (he was too petrified for something to reflect on him), but on something else with which he does not have any organic connection.
M.E. Saltykov-Shchedrin "The Story of a City"

Actually, in the development of the topic covered in the case www.ultimaerp.com/results/motivation

The system of material motivation of staff (SMPP) is NOT the most important thing for business success. Strategic marketing is, without a doubt, unbeatable, in the first place.
However, among the success factors of the second order there is not one, the realization of which, on the one hand, would require so little money, effort and time, but would give such a large-scale effect, both in monetary terms and in terms of the duration of the effect.

The specific rules for building a good SMMP are an extensive topic that requires extensive presentation in a special book. Perhaps we will release it in the future. If the hands reach.
And here, limited by the natural framework of the Facebook posting, we arm ourselves with the strategy of “bad advice” and write how to approach the design of the SMMP in order to do everything as gothically as possible - well, that is, through the ass.
That is - as usual.
')
Again, due to volume limitations, the description below is purely abstract, with almost no deployment and argumentation.

So, SMMP as usual:

• in a smaller motivational formula, use indicators that characterize the performance of an individual person, and more “common” KPIs — results of the “department”, or even the entire company.
  
  Like, in order to create a team spirit and other collective farm.
  After all, if the cleaner will receive a% of the company's profits every six months, it's how much it motivates her to wipe the floors cleaner!
  
• it is even better to shift the main share of income to indicators that are completely unrelated to the actual results of the activity of anything.
  
  For example, the employee will receive the main income from the monthly assessment of the boss.
  And the one who thinks that such an approach motivates to lick the boss's anus as opposed to working for a business result is a sucker. He does not understand anything in business
  
• very good - a subtype of the previous one, when the assessment is made not by the boss, but by the mutual evaluation by the staff of each other.
  
  Blindly. This, no doubt, motivates not the internal intrigues and the coalescence of the packs of comrades, but the commencement of selfless work for the benefit of consumers and shareholders.
  
• if you still could not overcome yourself, and the main component of employee motivation is repelled from his personal results, then there is a magic tool for this case - called “planning” .
  
  Set a plan every month \ quarter from the bald, redo the already approved plans for the second quarter, because in the first one you exceeded, and you don’t have to pay too much.
  What, say, employees instead of their work will be engaged exclusively bureaucratic romp around trading on the plans? Will they specifically hold sales within 95-100% of fulfillment so that the next month / quarter will not be pulled up? Nonsense! But getting into the plan will be one hundred percent. I'll give you a fuck that the gross profit lost will be between 30-70% of the actual income, and the net lag will be a multiple (if at all, it will be clean)
  
• smart, thermonuclear tool based on the previous one - individual plans .
  
  In addition to the charms of the previous item, you will get an intriguing spider can and passion much worse than in Game of Thrones for free. Corporate life will be piquant and unconventional.
  Especially for consumers.
  
• Additional seasoning is a colossal, complex formula for calculating income with a bunch of multiplying coefficients.
  
  More square roots and logarithms, Carl!
  Let no employee figure out what he needs to do to increase his income! After all, the “fog of war” (C) Clausewitz motivates the employee in the best way to achieve the company's goals.
  
• change motivational formulas more often
  
  Try to surprise employees with a new salary scheme at least once every six months, optimally - every three months. After all, the more often you change motivation, the more thoroughness in people's lives and trust in leadership! It is in such conditions that labor enthusiasm flourishes to the heights of the Stakhanov movement.
  
• And add new payroll formulas in hindsight
  
  Just towards the end of the month, report that (Surprise Surprise!) From its first number, the salary is considered new. How? Yes, x ... knows, until the month is over and there will be no “statistics” - it is not clear.
  
• Monitor security - an employee should NOT have access to an online calculation of the indicators that make up his income.
  
  Ideally, deny access to these indicators in general. The result of the calculation of the very mega-formula with factorials and cotangents should come to him with a single digit “TOTAL” once a month. Everyone has already counted for him, let him see the number and rejoice, schmuck.
  After all, the favorite topic for gossip in the shirnarmasahs “we are ... ended” is the best ground for cultivating filial trust in leadership.
  
• Enter new motivational schemes quickly, decisively!
  
  No preliminary discussions! No introductory meetings \ newsletters with a detailed explanation of what will be considered and what it will be! Sturm und Drang! Steadiness Ugryum-Burcheeva - your credo. Well, backdating has already been recommended.
  
• at the same time, when shoals of ill-conceived, uncalculated and retroactively introduced motivation become absolutely unbearable for employees' shirnarmass, having met organized discontent and a nascent spontaneous strike - immediately, publicly and unconditionally take back.
  
  It is a pity and unconvincingly to transfer the blame to the switchmen (regarding the technology we refer to the speeches of the national leader). Demonstrate to all the lack of testes and total lack of leadership skills. Trying to appease indignant employees, in addition to a rollback to the old salary scheme, also add money from above.
  
• actively and consistently cram in nevpihuemoe
  
  It doesn’t matter that for a single position in principle there are no exhaustive countable KPIs (fortunately, apart from jokes, there are relatively few such positions). Pay artists for running meters, cops - for solved crimes, for poets - for the number of words.
  

“Sim win.”