Why we do not achieve the goals that we set

It often happens that we set goals that we cannot achieve for various reasons. You don't want to do anything, you are constantly distracted, you think that you need to get better prepared and put it off the back burner.

In this article, I would like to talk about how to properly motivate yourself to fulfill your goals, what obstacles we face and how to cope with them.

How we set goals and what they give us
Everything seems to be simple here. We all can set goals: ambitious, large-scale, meeting the criteria of SMART .
It happens that they set themselves a goal to be fulfilled, wrote it down on paper and hung it on a wall. We look at her day, another, and nothing happens.
')
As in the poem of I. Guberman:
Sometimes you wake up like a bird
winged spring cocked
and I want to live and work;
but for breakfast it passes.

But it can be different when you were full of energy in the morning and jumped out of bed, eager to take up work. For example, when completing an exciting project or preparing for the wedding.

A good, correct goal should not be some kind of abstract dream, it should be a tool that helps to focus, understand the right direction and sense urgency.
So, having a goal gives you the following benefits:

• Concentration. When we visualize clearly the end result of what we want to achieve, our productivity increases significantly. Concentration gives mental calmness.
• Directivity When you purposefully start to solve some problem, for example, you start to play sports or at least do exercises in the morning, the positive effect begins to manifest long before you see the first significant results - this feeling appears as soon as you start moving towards the goal. Success, energy and enthusiasm are largely determined by the focus.
• A sense of urgency . This sensation manifests itself when you move quickly and purposefully. It happens that since the morning you work quickly and efficiently, you do not get distracted by nonsense, you do not do unnecessary things, you do not hurry like mad, trying to do everything in time. A properly formulated goal energizes, brings a sense of enthusiasm and urgency that will not arise if your life is ruled by chance.

How to set a goal for it to energize

• The goal must be meaningful to you. It would seem an obvious thing, but many miss it. It is worth looking at this closely. Is it important for you to achieve this goal, or is it imposed by someone?
• The goal must be specific and measurable. Often we set the goal of “losing weight”, “starting to earn more”, “get to know a girl”, “increase sales”, and we are inclined to avoid deadlines. These goals lack concreteness. Our brain operates with images, it needs specifics, a clear picture of where it should lead you. When there is no clear picture, he does not lead you anywhere - his task is to ensure safety, to keep the current state of affairs.
• The goal must be an appropriate scale. The goal should be modest enough for you to believe in the reality of its implementation. For example, a 500% increase in sales next month is unlikely, but a more realistic goal by 10-20%.
  The goal should be large enough to make additional efforts necessary to implement it, and so that it causes you some discomfort. This will leave the comfort zone and give strength for its implementation.
• The goal must be recorded. This criterion is also often neglected. It is extremely important to offer your mind an image of success in combination with its description. Write down where it is convenient: in a notebook, on stickers, in organizers, task managers. There are supporters of writing only on paper, but this is a matter of taste. The ideal option is to make a goal in the form of a collage, hang it in a place where it will always be visible and regularly reread the goal.
• The goal must be repeated regularly. When you are complying with goals so that they become a part of you, then the fulfillment of such goals is almost guaranteed.

What should I do if there are obstacles on the way to the goal?
You have firmly decided to lose 5 kg by July 1 in order to look beautiful on the beach, but this week you have already missed the trip to the gym and break the diet 2 times. Or they decided to increase sales by 30% this month, but you cannot find the motivation to make the necessary calls. As soon as we start a business, inevitably obstacles arise. They are external and internal, and sometimes we even perceive external obstacles that we have subconsciously created ourselves.
Obstacles can be emotional and mental.

Emotional obstacles

• Unwillingness to take 100% responsibility.
  Symptoms: you start to look guilty in the fact that you have nothing happens. You blame the government for failures, the state of the economy, the wife (husband), the children, the fool of the boss or the lazy people fixed.
  Decision:
  It is necessary to understand what to take responsibility and take on blame for different things. Acknowledging guilt, you point out that you did wrong, but accept responsibility to face the truth.
  When you think about the future, set a goal and begin to strive for it, it already means that you accept responsibility. You are 100% responsible for your life.
  
  
• Reluctance to look stupid
  This obstacle is called the fear of criticism, the fear of failure, or the “impostor syndrome”. Most are afraid to appear before others in a ridiculous way.
  Symptoms: search for excuses. In words, ready to move mountains, and then finds reasons to evade the task.
  Decision:
  Develop a strategy for achieving the goal and do not give in to fear. Get out of your comfort zone. Overwhelmingly, fear of stupid looking is based on nonexistent danger.
  Make sure your chosen goal is really meaningful to you. Write down on paper why you want to achieve this goal, what will accomplish this goal, what you will feel when you realize this goal. This will increase your focus. When you strive for something that really fascinates, the opinions of others are of little interest. Thinking positively and aiming to achieve a goal, you drive out fear.
  Find yourself a partner or coach who will support you, cheer you up and to whom you will report on the accomplishment of the goal.
  
  
• Reluctance to act
  Goals require certain actions and often very decisive. If you want to lose weight, go to the gym; if you want to increase sales - you need to communicate with people. Of course, without your efforts, nothing will happen. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
  Symptoms:
  1) Procrastination - the tendency to postpone action.
  2) Analytical paralysis - a person collects a lot of data, studies literature, attends webinars, but never gets to work.
  Decision:
  Go back to the goal statement. Is the target really the right scale? In many ways, this obstacle is due to confusion and lack of confidence in their abilities.
  Formulate a goal so that you can clearly see the finish line.
  Take the first step, the main thing is to start. It is worth making 1-2 calls to customers or going to the gym for the first time, and then it’s already much easier. As a visit to the dentist, only the first time is scary.

Mental obstacles

• The propensity to go astray.
  Symptoms: I know I need to get in good shape, but the candies looked so tempting and they are so tasty. I sat down to write a letter to my partner, but suddenly I noticed how I played solitaire for half an hour.
  Decision:
  The most specific and clearly articulate goals. In the absence of a clear and specific goal, the brain will always clutch at the simplest and closest.
  Since ancient times, the brain has become accustomed to noticing everything unusual and paying attention to it. This skill was very much in demand when a saber-toothed tiger could attack a man, but now it allows us to be easily distracted. Here we need strategy and willpower: find what usually leads you astray and get rid of it.
  
  
• Fear of the goal, extra thoughts, overstrain
  Symptoms: you feel that your goals are too ambitious, or are experiencing too much excitement.
  Decision:
  Take time to think.
  Decompose the target, divide it into digestible portions. Write a clear sequence of steps to achieve the goal.
  Turn goal achievement into a game. Decompose the goal and for reaching the intermediate stages give yourself a small prize.

PS Set goals that energize you, and you will be lucky.