7 secrets of growing up (and yes, it would be time already!)

Life is complicated. Moreover, she is unfair. But this does not mean that we should continue to freak out, believing that the world revolves only around us. You can call this post demagogy, but the author of the article decided that it was time to write such a straightforward article in order to show people what they are wrong with.

So the word to the author! Again and again, I see my friends acting ... like children. It puzzles me why my peers (and I am 29!) Are so unreliable that they behave like selfish, importunate, capricious, and crazed tomboy.
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Friends, I should not have written about this, but here are 7 secrets of growing up and maturing.

1) You MUST understand what impression you are making and how those around you perceive it.

You have your own thoughts and feelings, but this does not mean that others think and feel the same way as you.
As a rule, your words and actions for others have a different meaning. It is important to know what impression you make on others . After all, you do not want to slide down the slope and become a man who is condemned and mistakenly considered an egoist?

Why? Face it. People tend to make ratings. Image is the main thing. You will not achieve anything good if you go your own way, acting in your own way, while others will seem completely different. And yes, you will see an egoist in you if you think that your path is the only true road.

For example, let's say you had a difficult work week. You have every right to whine, resent, or complain about it . If you do it once, perhaps others will consider you a hard worker. But what happens if you act like this every day for a week? You turn into a tearful brat, and no one likes whiners.

2) Therefore, you need to take care of what others think!

Clear. All self-defense in the world is built on the lack of interest in the opinions of others and the chanting of how much it makes your life easier.

But I call it a lie. To a certain extent, we all care about what other people think of us. But the game with this idea is already art. This is exactly the difference between an adult virtuoso, who has enough courage for independent living, and a stubborn little child; between an adult who leaves his comments to himself and a kid who is rude (unconsciously) to others and continues to consider himself right.

But to be honest, everything should not be so difficult.

Take care of what others think, for the sake of respect for them and the desire to do no harm. Take care, because you know about their life difficulties, because the world does not revolve around you. Take care simply out of wanting to take care.

Do not think about other people's opinions, because you know: this is just a noise, trying to keep you from achieving goals and the realization of dreams.

Do not listen to them, because they are harmful people. Do not care about their words, because you know that you are a self-sufficient person.

3) Be patient if the pain is weak

Look, this is life. There are ups followed by downs. Not everything works for us.
And when this happens, an adult accepts it, learns, gets rid of the past and goes further.
And the child is whining, indignant, and loudly complaining about everything.

It's okay if you hurt a little! Be patient. This is not the end of the world, and no one wants to hear about it all the time from you.

4) Never hide your pain while trying to hurt or weaken others.

Unfortunately, a lot of offended people choose this path. That is why there are teasers.
They never really offended me, but I often came across people who thought they could humiliate me and thus get the attention they needed. Then they began to justify themselves and explain why they acted as villains, and what their problem was.

Be open . A mature adult will speak openly about his problems and will actively seek the necessary assistance. The child will complain, be offended and demand attention.

5) Therefore be sensitive and learn to ask for forgiveness.

Let's continue, an adult readily admits that he is also wrong. And the immature person, on the contrary, will look for excuses, just to hide his own mistakes.

Be sure to make peace. Be a man. Be a grown man. Learn to forgive others. You are not always right, and you should respect the idea that you, too, pierce and make mistakes.

In fact, the distinguishing feature of a real man is this: he can admit not only his fears, but also his own wrongfulness.

6) Never demand attention in social media.

Perhaps I had some prejudice regarding the principle of the operation of social services. media, but I think this needs to be said.

An adult in social networks is looking for feedback. He / she leaves the comfort zone and, while demonstrating his work, creativity or opinion, awaits judgment.

If this is something more minor, then you just need attention and expect unreasonable recognition in the form of likes, reposts or comments. This happens when you post passively aggressive statuses with a vague meaning; when you feel pleasure hearing the words you want from friends who are too sweet to tell you the truth.

So do the children. Do not expect to ever grow up, if you depend on it.

7) Act (or do not act) according to your age

In the world of self-help, there is another idea built on a pedestal: age is just a number, and you need to do what you want, regardless of it.

But honestly, how effective is it? Can we do this every second?
Of course no. The world will instantly turn into a nightmare if adults refuse to act as they should be and abandon all their duties.

Therefore, as in the case of inattention to other people's thoughts, you need to play with it carefully.
Act according to your age, because you need to be responsible and in control of your life, especially if there are people who depend on you. Behave yourself properly to be able to take control of the situation and help the younger ones.

But drop the idea of ​​what is expected of a man at your age! Eliminate them and boldly start doing what you want. Yes, and help those who are older than you.

Live an independent and satisfying life. It is quite possible to do this without even shirking our responsibilities.

PS We recommend another article on the topic - How to create a concept for the development of your own life .

Translated by Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of MBA Consult .