Communication secrets for introverts

If you feel bad every time someone says the word "communication" , this article is for you. You will learn effective interaction with people that will not disturb your inner world.

People are often surprised when they find out that the author of the article is not an extrovert. Nevertheless, she quietly stands on the stage, participates in competitions and maintains familiarity with a huge number of people. Ellen went to a school where ideal conditions were created only for extroverts. Despite this, it cannot be called an extrovert.
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For the girl, the most difficult is the usual informal communication. Like many introverts, Ellen does not like empty talk and feels uncomfortable among a large number of strangers. Modern technology confirms this. Recently, the girl had Spire, a device for controlling the level of stress, and it turned out that the most stressful for her are the moments when a lot of people hang around around without a goal.

In such cases, it is always advised to “just not pay attention” and say that soon “you will get used to it”

But Ellen can't do it. Perhaps you too (and this is normal).

At the same time, she is sure that meeting people is important for creating and improving new ideas. It was necessary to find a way that would be suitable for this better than traditional communication. The result was a set of strategies that help to establish contact with the right people. If it were not for these strategies, Ellen would probably sit at home with her cat and read books to her every day.

(1) Make it easy to contact you.

It is much easier to respond by agreeing to a request in person, than publicly at any random event. It only takes a couple of minutes to view the / coffee page on the site.

If someone gets in touch, he already knows what he would like to talk to you about. You do not have to spend time searching for a point of contact and building a relaxed conversation : you are talking about business. This refers to the category of those little things that eventually grow into a huge amount of time saved.

Similarly, there are public performances. If you speak at a conference, the people present there already know what you are going to talk about. If they have similar interests, they can come closer.

(2) Set a goal: Hold one conversation you want.

If Ellen is at any event, then sets a goal. She considers any experience to be useful if at least one necessary conversation took place. No need to meet with everyone present. No need is there from the beginning to the end of the event. It is not necessary to exchange contact information. You only need to have one good conversation, and then do what you want.

But sometimes even this goal turns out to be too difficult, and Ellen tries to cheat. She studies the list of participants in advance in order to find someone with whom she would really like to talk. Then he contacts them by e-mail and asks if they can meet before the start of the event.

Due to the fact that the girl makes an appointment in advance, she does not have the opportunity to ignore the event. Moreover, she begins to wait for him with impatience, because she knows where to start. Likewise, you can choose who you want to meet and invite this person to an event that might please him.

(3) Know your limits and set the rules.

Ellen liked the doctrine, which says that introverts and extroverts are not synonymous with open and closed people, but rather different ways of obtaining energy. A girl can spend a certain amount of time in the company of people, but after that she will need to be left alone to recharge.

When she reaches her limit, Ellen stops attending events and making appointments. Anyway, she will be in a bad mood, and communication with her will not benefit anyone.

To avoid such a turn, Ellen tried to work out certain rules and follow them. The best thing she thought of was to always stay home on Friday night. It gives you enough time to spend alone. If she stays home on Friday, she will be able to work well and productively on Saturday, attend social events in the evening, relax on Sunday, and return to the office with new powers on Monday.

If you do not follow the rules, Ellen is too easy to pressure colleagues. Some people do not understand why only Friday can spoil someone for the whole week. At the very least, you need to know your limit. If you often exceed it, you need to establish rules.

PS We recommend another useful article on the work on yourself - 9 communication skills that any successful leader should possess .

The author of the translation is Vyacheslav Davidenko, the founder of the TESTutor company.