Controversial question: is it worth making friends with the manager
Many of us at least once thought that working with a friend is easier and better, because he understands everything perfectly and never fails. But do close relationships interfere with effective performance of duties?
We asked Dmitry Karyagin , personnel director at Kokoc.com, Victoria Shafran , sales director at ArrowMedia and Denis Korovkin , production technologist at WebProfy, to answer this question.
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Working family
According to Dmitry Karyagin, director of personnel at Kokoc.com, friendship between employees and subordinates is necessary and useful. On the one hand, it has a positive impact on the work and motivates to do it as qualitatively as possible. In the same situation, an ordinary employee will perform the task only to the extent required by the job description and regulations. And an employee friend will often do a little more, with enthusiasm, because, among other things, he helps a friend. Close relationships are an additional incentive, because no one wants to let a friend down.
On the other hand, work can positively influence friendship. For example, after a quarrel in everyday life, people, as a rule, do not communicate for a long time or disperse forever, and after years they regret it. If they work in the same team, in any case they will have to communicate on work issues, and this often helps to overcome resentment and restore good relations.
Another plus of friendship between managers and subordinates: a comfortable atmosphere. In some companies, people are looking forward to Fridays, in order to quickly leave their bored colleagues and meet with friends. And if the leader / subordinate is your friend, there is no need for that, you can always have lunch together, talk over a cup of coffee.
No matter how trite it may sound, our company is one friendly family: we work together, relax together, go to bars, go on holidays, play sports. For example, the managing partner is friends with an ordinary developer; for several years they have been playing on the same football team. At the same time, at work, the employee is not given any relief, but he does not feel privileged.
But sometimes friendship with a supervisor imposes additional obligations on a subordinate: often, as in ordinary life, at work, a demanding person has higher requirements. For example, the boss gives an employee-friend less opportunity for error, because he knows for sure that he is capable of performing this task.
In order to create and maintain a balance between work and personal relationships, the manager must determine the management style from day one. For example, many of us prefer the role of a senior mentor, a senior friend. On the one hand, a person treats a subordinate well, is always ready to help him and suggest from the position of a more experienced and knowledgeable specialist. But on the other hand, it is through experience and knowledge that he is higher in the post, which means that the tasks he sets must be performed.
At the same time, the manager should not try to become “his” among subordinates from the first day, for example, inviting them to drink, giving relief in work. In this way, only “cheap authority” can be won, which will disappear as soon as the manager requires the execution of tasks. As in life, close relationships in the office develop gradually.
Verge of reason
According to the experience of Victoria Saffron, ArrowMedia Sales Director, in most cases it is difficult for people to share work and friendship. For example, an employee who has been invited to work by a friend often expects a privileged attitude, and the boss requires a quick entry into the course of affairs from a comrade and greater return than from other subordinates. As a result, the expectations of both are not met, the joint work does not take shape, which, as a rule, has a negative effect on friendship.
If you decide to take as a subordinate close person, I recommend immediately discussing that in the office the relationship is business-like and outside it is friendly.
However, as a rule, this line is erased over time. For example, despite the initial agreement between personal friends (the head and subordinate) will inevitably arise personal or working disagreements, which can end in a quarrel and resentment. In such cases, it is necessary to calmly discuss the problem, but not everyone is ready to forget about emotions and speak frankly. As a result, disagreements remain and are aggravated, which leads parting sooner or later. Breaking one relationship makes it difficult to keep others, so most often this leads to the fact that the girls stop working together and making friends.
I try to avoid such situations, so I never invite friends to work, but I communicate closely with colleagues from other departments. Of course, there are subordinates with whom not one year and formal relations have long since become friendly, but at the same time we understand that, above all, work. However, if any trouble happens, I will always come to the rescue.
As practice shows, to maintain personal relationships at work is possible in two cases:
Trust and creativity
The pros and cons of the friendship of managers depend on the situation, says Denis Korovkin, WebProfy production technologist. On the one hand, it is quite difficult to translate personal relations into workers and not everyone will be able to take seriously the new leader, with whom he has been a good friend for several years, he has been heart-to-heart. In a situation where a friend sets tasks, demands their fulfillment and issues a salary, there is a risk of not working together and friendship will be under threat.
On the other hand, professional relations with managers often flow into friendly. Of course, this does not happen immediately and is not a prerequisite for good results in work - it is necessary to carry out KPI anyway. However, as experience shows, when an employee is intimately familiar with a boss, he himself wants to do a little more than the job description requires. For example, when dealing exclusively with a business relationship, I perceive the manager’s proposal to work at the weekend negatively and can refuse if this time is not paid overtime. If the request comes from the head of a friend who honestly admits that this is important for our department, then naturally, I will agree.
At the same time, the friendship between the leader and the subordinate must contain trust and mutual assistance. If an employee is assigned to run a project, he will try to do it “for five plus”, in order not to let the loved one down. At the same time, it will not count on concessions, otherwise it will affect the quality of work and relations with colleagues who are not given relief. In any case, both the employee and the manager should, if necessary, separate personal and working relationships so as not to spoil either one or the other, while the rest of the colleagues did not feel very comfortable.
If you manage to keep a balance, then friendship helps a lot in work. Most often, because in a relaxed, friendly atmosphere, people feel calmer and “charge” each other with creativity. And in a deliberately businesslike atmosphere, many employees are embarrassed to come up with ideas for fear of rejection.
At the same time, friendship helps in time to solve problems arising at work. Suppose a subordinate has become insufficiently attentive to duties due to family problems. In this case, most of the chiefs will not understand the reasons, but prefer to part. However, a friend will ask what is the matter, help with advice from his personal life and tell you how to get back to work.
In the end, the office pleasantly comes in the mornings, if you know that friends are waiting for you there, time flies by and there is no desire to quickly run away from work.
Source: New Retail .
We asked Dmitry Karyagin , personnel director at Kokoc.com, Victoria Shafran , sales director at ArrowMedia and Denis Korovkin , production technologist at WebProfy, to answer this question.
')
Working family
According to Dmitry Karyagin, director of personnel at Kokoc.com, friendship between employees and subordinates is necessary and useful. On the one hand, it has a positive impact on the work and motivates to do it as qualitatively as possible. In the same situation, an ordinary employee will perform the task only to the extent required by the job description and regulations. And an employee friend will often do a little more, with enthusiasm, because, among other things, he helps a friend. Close relationships are an additional incentive, because no one wants to let a friend down.
On the other hand, work can positively influence friendship. For example, after a quarrel in everyday life, people, as a rule, do not communicate for a long time or disperse forever, and after years they regret it. If they work in the same team, in any case they will have to communicate on work issues, and this often helps to overcome resentment and restore good relations.
Another plus of friendship between managers and subordinates: a comfortable atmosphere. In some companies, people are looking forward to Fridays, in order to quickly leave their bored colleagues and meet with friends. And if the leader / subordinate is your friend, there is no need for that, you can always have lunch together, talk over a cup of coffee.
No matter how trite it may sound, our company is one friendly family: we work together, relax together, go to bars, go on holidays, play sports. For example, the managing partner is friends with an ordinary developer; for several years they have been playing on the same football team. At the same time, at work, the employee is not given any relief, but he does not feel privileged.
But sometimes friendship with a supervisor imposes additional obligations on a subordinate: often, as in ordinary life, at work, a demanding person has higher requirements. For example, the boss gives an employee-friend less opportunity for error, because he knows for sure that he is capable of performing this task.
In order to create and maintain a balance between work and personal relationships, the manager must determine the management style from day one. For example, many of us prefer the role of a senior mentor, a senior friend. On the one hand, a person treats a subordinate well, is always ready to help him and suggest from the position of a more experienced and knowledgeable specialist. But on the other hand, it is through experience and knowledge that he is higher in the post, which means that the tasks he sets must be performed.
At the same time, the manager should not try to become “his” among subordinates from the first day, for example, inviting them to drink, giving relief in work. In this way, only “cheap authority” can be won, which will disappear as soon as the manager requires the execution of tasks. As in life, close relationships in the office develop gradually.
Verge of reason
According to the experience of Victoria Saffron, ArrowMedia Sales Director, in most cases it is difficult for people to share work and friendship. For example, an employee who has been invited to work by a friend often expects a privileged attitude, and the boss requires a quick entry into the course of affairs from a comrade and greater return than from other subordinates. As a result, the expectations of both are not met, the joint work does not take shape, which, as a rule, has a negative effect on friendship.
If you decide to take as a subordinate close person, I recommend immediately discussing that in the office the relationship is business-like and outside it is friendly.
However, as a rule, this line is erased over time. For example, despite the initial agreement between personal friends (the head and subordinate) will inevitably arise personal or working disagreements, which can end in a quarrel and resentment. In such cases, it is necessary to calmly discuss the problem, but not everyone is ready to forget about emotions and speak frankly. As a result, disagreements remain and are aggravated, which leads parting sooner or later. Breaking one relationship makes it difficult to keep others, so most often this leads to the fact that the girls stop working together and making friends.
I try to avoid such situations, so I never invite friends to work, but I communicate closely with colleagues from other departments. Of course, there are subordinates with whom not one year and formal relations have long since become friendly, but at the same time we understand that, above all, work. However, if any trouble happens, I will always come to the rescue.
As practice shows, to maintain personal relationships at work is possible in two cases:
- Friends work in different departments where teamwork is important and some of the tasks can be performed better by being familiar.
- Friends work in competing teams, where work is built on indicators: “higher, faster, stronger”.
Trust and creativity
The pros and cons of the friendship of managers depend on the situation, says Denis Korovkin, WebProfy production technologist. On the one hand, it is quite difficult to translate personal relations into workers and not everyone will be able to take seriously the new leader, with whom he has been a good friend for several years, he has been heart-to-heart. In a situation where a friend sets tasks, demands their fulfillment and issues a salary, there is a risk of not working together and friendship will be under threat.
On the other hand, professional relations with managers often flow into friendly. Of course, this does not happen immediately and is not a prerequisite for good results in work - it is necessary to carry out KPI anyway. However, as experience shows, when an employee is intimately familiar with a boss, he himself wants to do a little more than the job description requires. For example, when dealing exclusively with a business relationship, I perceive the manager’s proposal to work at the weekend negatively and can refuse if this time is not paid overtime. If the request comes from the head of a friend who honestly admits that this is important for our department, then naturally, I will agree.
At the same time, the friendship between the leader and the subordinate must contain trust and mutual assistance. If an employee is assigned to run a project, he will try to do it “for five plus”, in order not to let the loved one down. At the same time, it will not count on concessions, otherwise it will affect the quality of work and relations with colleagues who are not given relief. In any case, both the employee and the manager should, if necessary, separate personal and working relationships so as not to spoil either one or the other, while the rest of the colleagues did not feel very comfortable.
If you manage to keep a balance, then friendship helps a lot in work. Most often, because in a relaxed, friendly atmosphere, people feel calmer and “charge” each other with creativity. And in a deliberately businesslike atmosphere, many employees are embarrassed to come up with ideas for fear of rejection.
At the same time, friendship helps in time to solve problems arising at work. Suppose a subordinate has become insufficiently attentive to duties due to family problems. In this case, most of the chiefs will not understand the reasons, but prefer to part. However, a friend will ask what is the matter, help with advice from his personal life and tell you how to get back to work.
In the end, the office pleasantly comes in the mornings, if you know that friends are waiting for you there, time flies by and there is no desire to quickly run away from work.
Source: New Retail .
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/298726/
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