Take the plunge: how to cope with the fear of making a mistake

In each of us, even somewhere very deep in the soul, lives an adventurer, entrepreneur or writer. Nevertheless, when the question of the realization of our aspirations comes up - very often our dreams will not come true because of the fear of doing something wrong, not succeeding, becoming a laughing stock of others, etc. Fear always prompts retreat. How to deal with it?



Fear restrains us, throws us back, away from our intended goal. He simply destroys our dreams like a house of cards. He kills our creativity and productivity on the vine, and simply deprives us of the feeling of fullness of life.

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Why are we still so afraid of failure? Perhaps because “sentient beings” tend to focus on negative situations. This is what psychologists call "negative bias."



What is this displacement, well explained by the example of James Altacher: “If you are in the jungle and you see a lion to your right and an apple with fruits on your left, you will most likely ignore the apple tree, not the lion, and as soon as possible rush away from him! ”



Negative experience has a much greater impact on our brain than a positive one. The part of the brain that controls this fear is called the “reptilian brain” - this is the very first part of our brain that was formed in the process of evolution because of the understandable desire to survive. Therefore, at the right moment, she gives us commands (to run, fight, etc., depending on the stressful situation that has arisen on our way). Fear always prompts retreat. He is the real opposite of progress.

Three proven strategies to help you get rid of fear and allow you to start living a full life

Apparently, evolution is destined that in extreme situations it is necessary to react quickly, and not to plunge into thought. Therefore, most likely, in such cases it is the instinct of self-preservation that works ... We are retreating from the idea, which, as it seems to us, carries certain risks. However, there are several ways to deceive the oldest part of our brain, which leads us along the path of missed opportunities.

1. Change your perception of failure

We all know the phrase: “Every event in itself is neutral. Positive or negative coloring gives him our attitude towards him. ” Therefore, it depends only on you how to perceive this or that failure, failure, or minor missteps . If we can analyze what is happening with us, then we can all turn to our advantage. Even well-known and, in our opinion, very successful people admit that on the way to the present situation they made a huge number of unsuccessful attempts to achieve the desired.



For example, James Dyson once said in an interview that the appearance of the first successful Dyson Hoover was preceded by 5,126 failures. And in Michael Jordan's career, he said, there were 9,000 unsuccessful shots, 300 lost matches and 26 times he “ruined” the game, not justifying the hopes placed on him.



The main thing is to realize: an unsuccessful attempt is not the end of life , it is part of your story. This is a normal part of your professional and emotional growing up. Look, at least sometimes, positively at your mistakes, and then you will stop being afraid to commit them.

2. Find a mentor

You can’t even imagine how many of those around you can become excellent mentors, no matter what they are talking about - starting your own business, writing your first novel, or about a world tour. The benefit of these people is that they have already passed their way of trial and error before they achieved what they can be proud of now. Now these people can help you not only with advice, but also by example. If so far there are no mentors in your environment, this article can also play a similar role.

3. Shred your dreams

In his book The Naked Leader, David Taylor gives a very simple and clear statement:

“Imagine that you simply can not fail. Who would you be? Where would you go? What would you do? If you take away the thought of failing things, you can clearly define what you want from life. Spend some time in thought about more ambitious than usual plans. Allow yourself to dream without fear of possible difficulties! ”

If you have already answered the question of what you want from life, break your big dream into small components, into small bricks from which success will be built. Each of these "bricks", in contrast to the big goal, seems much easier to achieve. And you do not panic when trying to start a project of your dreams.



It's hard not to agree with the author. After all, what is terrible, for example, to find the necessary regulatory base on the Internet, if your big goal is to open your own business? And talk to those who have long found their place in this business? Find information about free office space in the right area - not a problem either. Such seemingly simple tasks, but in fact they, in the end, will turn your dream into reality.



Another tip as a bonus: try to understand the real reason for your fear. “Fear of failure” is a rather vague concept. Usually, behind it lies something simple and concrete, only we are not always ready to figure it out or to admit it. So, quickly deal with "self-digging." Honestly answer a simple question:

What am I really afraid of?

• Seem ridiculous (loser) around / loved one?
• Do not make the right amount of money?
• What nobody will buy my idea?
• Leave the usual comfort zone?
• To lose free time?

List continue and ... underline. Believe me, it will be much more useful to formulate your fear and work on overcoming it, than to regret all your life for lost opportunities and unfulfilled plans. By answering honestly the question about the nature of your fear, you will take the first step not only on the way to overcoming fear, but also on the way to your intended goals.



PS We recommend another article on the topic - 12 ways to stop treating yourself too harshly .



The author of the translation is Vyacheslav Davidenko, the founder of the TESTutor company.