Team cooking scrambled eggs
Fantasy on how our team would make scrambled eggs.
Product manager (he always writes the specification):
Our customers need fried eggs. Result should be hot and round. Sunny-side up.
P0. Should be cooked from eggs
P2. Fried eggs should be edible
Microwave method is out of scope.
Design of fried eggs will be attached later.
')
Team leader:
- I need accurate estimates of how long it will take to create scrambled eggs and splitting into tasks. Since the requirements are complex, I propose to make a prototype first.
Junior Developer:
- Guys, tell me how to fry eggs?
Architect:
- Finely chop the onion, sprinkle it with 15 grams of flour and fry in butter. Pour 2 deciliters of red wine and 1 deciliter of fish broth. Bring to a boil, add 2 finely chopped hot potatoes, 200 g of boiled cod, 3 anchovy fillets, a pinch of parsley and how to pepper. Put a slide on a greased baking sheet. Sprinkle with crushed breadcrumbs, pour with melted butter and put in the oven on high heat. After cooking, put scrambled eggs around. By the way, we have no baking sheet, but you can ask the next team.
Senior Developer:
- And who told you to fry scrambled eggs? Team leader? Yes, he does not understand anything in the eggs. And then what to do? Well, there are many options. You can boil eggs, fry, make an omelet ... Which option to choose? Yes monopenisual. I can not answer until we have goals. By the way, Team leader, where is my salary of 200 thousand?
Developer with local web server:
- To cook scrambled eggs need eggs. You can take them in the store. In which? I dont know. I work locally, so I have my own.
Linux developer:
- In Linux, this can be done in one command: “make fried eggs”.
Developer with bad memory:
- I don't know how to cook. It is better to ask a senior developer. He recently cooked them, and I only once fried potatoes and then according to the instructions, which I do not remember where things are.
Developer with broad interests:
- Oh, let's explain later? Check out my new car, iPhone and MacBook ...
A developer, an amateur to complicate things:
- Scrambled eggs are simple: we need eggs first. To get them we build a barn, buy chickens and food for them. In a month, the first eggs will appear. Next we need a pan. To do this, you need to buy a small steel mill ...
Developer, automation lover:
- Fry the eggs?
- Senior developer, how long will we fry eggs by hand? It is necessary to automate!
Maintenance developer:
- Oh, ask better how I live. How do I live? Oh, and do not ask ... By the way, I remember one of our custom was a site about eggs. These were the eggs! But with this it is better to our doctor ...
3 weeks have passed ...
Girl tester:
- I am dragged from our scrambled eggs! She is so beautiful! Let me try it ... Oh! She's not salty!
Managers developers:
- About the salt there was nothing in the specification!
Stress Tester:
“When I quickly beat a fork with a scrambled egg with a fork, then for some reason all the walls, floor and ceiling in the eggs ...”
Senior tester:
- It is very inconvenient to share round omelettes between five family members. We must provide a mechanism for dividing by five or prohibiting this possibility.
Head of Testing:
- The greenish tinge of scrambled eggs is a critical bug. We cannot close the iteration until we fix it.
- Documentary:
- Scrambled eggs. Please explain what is at stake here?
Product manager (he always writes the specification):
Our customers need fried eggs. Result should be hot and round. Sunny-side up.
P0. Should be cooked from eggs
P2. Fried eggs should be edible
Microwave method is out of scope.
Design of fried eggs will be attached later.
')
Team leader:
- I need accurate estimates of how long it will take to create scrambled eggs and splitting into tasks. Since the requirements are complex, I propose to make a prototype first.
Junior Developer:
- Guys, tell me how to fry eggs?
Architect:
- Finely chop the onion, sprinkle it with 15 grams of flour and fry in butter. Pour 2 deciliters of red wine and 1 deciliter of fish broth. Bring to a boil, add 2 finely chopped hot potatoes, 200 g of boiled cod, 3 anchovy fillets, a pinch of parsley and how to pepper. Put a slide on a greased baking sheet. Sprinkle with crushed breadcrumbs, pour with melted butter and put in the oven on high heat. After cooking, put scrambled eggs around. By the way, we have no baking sheet, but you can ask the next team.
Senior Developer:
- And who told you to fry scrambled eggs? Team leader? Yes, he does not understand anything in the eggs. And then what to do? Well, there are many options. You can boil eggs, fry, make an omelet ... Which option to choose? Yes monopenisual. I can not answer until we have goals. By the way, Team leader, where is my salary of 200 thousand?
Developer with local web server:
- To cook scrambled eggs need eggs. You can take them in the store. In which? I dont know. I work locally, so I have my own.
Linux developer:
- In Linux, this can be done in one command: “make fried eggs”.
Developer with bad memory:
- I don't know how to cook. It is better to ask a senior developer. He recently cooked them, and I only once fried potatoes and then according to the instructions, which I do not remember where things are.
Developer with broad interests:
- Oh, let's explain later? Check out my new car, iPhone and MacBook ...
A developer, an amateur to complicate things:
- Scrambled eggs are simple: we need eggs first. To get them we build a barn, buy chickens and food for them. In a month, the first eggs will appear. Next we need a pan. To do this, you need to buy a small steel mill ...
Developer, automation lover:
- Fry the eggs?
- Senior developer, how long will we fry eggs by hand? It is necessary to automate!
Maintenance developer:
- Oh, ask better how I live. How do I live? Oh, and do not ask ... By the way, I remember one of our custom was a site about eggs. These were the eggs! But with this it is better to our doctor ...
3 weeks have passed ...
Girl tester:
- I am dragged from our scrambled eggs! She is so beautiful! Let me try it ... Oh! She's not salty!
Managers developers:
- About the salt there was nothing in the specification!
Stress Tester:
“When I quickly beat a fork with a scrambled egg with a fork, then for some reason all the walls, floor and ceiling in the eggs ...”
Senior tester:
- It is very inconvenient to share round omelettes between five family members. We must provide a mechanism for dividing by five or prohibiting this possibility.
Head of Testing:
- The greenish tinge of scrambled eggs is a critical bug. We cannot close the iteration until we fix it.
- Documentary:
- Scrambled eggs. Please explain what is at stake here?
Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/296682/
All Articles